NEW INFO 5 Results from share redemption are posted. Less than .2% redeemed. Very bullish as investors are showing extreme confidence in the future of PLBY.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/playboy-mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-120000721.html
NEW INFO 4 Definitive Agreement to purchase 100% of Lovers brand stores announced 2/1.
https://www.streetinsider.com/Corporate+News/Playboy+%28MCAC%29+Confirms+Deal+to+Acquire+Lovers/17892359.html
NEW INFO 3 I bought more on the dip today. 5081 total. Price rose AH to $12.38 (2.15%)
NEW INFO 2 Here is the full webinar.
https://icrinc.zoom.us/rec/play/9GWKdmOYumjWfZuufW3QXpe_FW_g--qeNbg6PnTjTMbnNTgLmCbWjeRFpQga1iPc-elpGap8dnDv8Zww.yD7DjUwuPmapeEdP?continueMode=true&tk=lEYc4F_FkKlgsmCIs6w0gtGHT2kbgVGbUju3cIRBSjk.DQIAAAAV8NK49xZWdldRM2xNSFNQcTBmcE00UzM3bXh3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA&uuid=WN_GKWqbHkeSyuWetJmLFkj4g&_x_zm_rtaid=kR45-uuqRE-L65AxLjpbQw.1611967079119.2c054e3d3f8d8e63339273d9175939ed&_x_zm_rhtaid=866
NEW INFO 1 Live merger webinar with PLBY and MCAC on Friday January 29, 2021 at 12:00 NOON EST link below
https://mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/press-release-details/2021/Playboy-Enterprises-Inc.-and-Mountain-Crest-Acquisition-Corp-Participate-in-SPACInsider-ICR-Webinar-on-January-29th-at-12pm-ET/default.aspx
Playboy going public: Porn, Gambling, and Cannabis
!!!WARNING READING AHEAD!!! TL;DR at the end. It will take some time to sort through all the links and read/watch everything, but you should.
In the next couple weeks, Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp is taking Playboy public. The existing ticker MCAC will become PLBY. Special purpose acquisition companies have taken private companies public in recent months with great success. I believe this will be no exception. Notably, Playboy is profitable and has skyrocketing revenue going into a transformational growth phase.
Porn - First and foremost, let's talk about porn. I know what you guys are thinking. “Porno mags are dead. Why would I want to invest in something like that? I can get porn for free online.” Guess what? You are absolutely right. And that’s exactly why Playboy doesn’t do that anymore. That’s right, they eliminated their print division. And yet they somehow STILL make money from porn that people (see: boomers) pay for on their website through PlayboyTV, Playboy Plus, and iPlayboy. Here’s the thing: Playboy has international, multi-generational name recognition from porn. They have content available in 180 countries. It will be the only publicly traded adult entertainment (porn) company. But that is not where this company is going. It will help support them along the way. You can see every Playboy magazine through iPlayboy if you’re interested. NSFW links below:
https://www.playboy.com/
https://www.playboytv.com/
https://www.playboyplus.com/
https://www.iplayboy.com/
Gambling - Some of you might recognize the Playboy brand from gambling trips to places like Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Cancun, London or Macau. They’ve been in the gambling biz for decades through their casinos, clubs, and licensed gaming products. They see the writing on the wall. COVID is accelerating the transition to digital, application based GAMBLING. That’s right. What we are doing on Robinhood with risky options is gambling, and the only reason regulators might give a shit anymore is because we are making too much money. There may be some restrictions put in place, but gambling from your phone on your couch is not going anywhere. More and more states are allowing things like Draftkings, poker, state ‘lottery” apps, hell - even political betting. Michigan and Virginia just ok’d gambling apps. They won’t be the last. This is all from your couch and any 18 year old with a cracked iphone can access it. Wouldn’t it be cool if Playboy was going to do something like that? They’re already working on it. As per CEO Ben Kohn who we will get to later, “...the company’s casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth.” Honestly, I stopped researching Scientific Games' sports betting segment when I saw the word ‘omni-channel’. That told me all I needed to know about it’s success.
“Our SG Sports™ platform is an enhanced, omni-channel solution for online, self-service and retail fixed odds sports betting – from soccer to tennis, basketball, football, baseball, hockey, motor sports, racing and more.”
https://www.scientificgames.com/
https://www.microgaming.co.uk/
“This latter segment has become increasingly enticing for Playboy, and it said last week that it is considering new tie-ups that could include gaming operators like PointsBet and 888Holdings.”
https://calvinayre.com/2020/10/05/business/playboys-gaming-ops-could-get-a-boost-from-spac-purchase/
As per their SEC filing:
“Significant consumer engagement and spend with Playboy-branded gaming properties around the world, including with leading partners such as Microgaming, Scientific Games, and Caesar’s Entertainment, steers our investment in digital gaming, sports betting and other digital offerings to further support our commercial strategy to expand consumer spend with minimal marginal cost, and gain consumer data to inform go-to-market plans across categories.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tMDAA1
They are expanding into more areas of gaming/gambling, working with international players in the digital gaming/gambling arena, and a Playboy sportsbook is on the horizon.
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-pleasure-of-playing-with-yourself-mobile-gaming-in-the-covid-era
Cannabis - If you’ve ever read through a Playboy magazine, you know they’ve had a positive relationship with cannabis for many years. As of September 2020, Playboy has made a major shift into the cannabis space. Too good to be true you say? Check their website. Playboy currently sells a range of CBD products. This is a good sign. Federal hemp products, which these most likely are, can be mailed across state lines and most importantly for a company like Playboy, can operate through a traditional banking institution. CBD products are usually the first step towards the cannabis space for large companies. Playboy didn’t make these products themselves meaning they are working with a processor in the cannabis industry. Another good sign for future expansion. What else do they have for sale? Pipes, grinders, ashtrays, rolling trays, joint holders. Hmm. Ok. So it looks like they want to sell some shit. They probably don’t have an active interest in cannabis right? Think again:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/09/24/playboy-gets-serious-about-cannabis-law-reform-advocacy-with-new-partnership-grants/?sh=62f044a65cea
“Taking yet another step into the cannabis space, Playboy will be announcing later on Thursday (September, 2020) that it is launching a cannabis law reform and advocacy campaign in partnership with National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), Last Prisoner Project, Marijuana Policy Project, the Veterans Cannabis Project, and the Eaze Momentum Program.”
“According to information procured exclusively, the three-pronged campaign will focus on calling for federal legalization. The program also includes the creation of a mentorship plan, through which the Playboy Foundation will support entrepreneurs from groups that are underrepresented in the industry.” Remember that CEO Kohn from earlier? He wrote this recently:
https://medium.com/naked-open-letters-from-playboy/congress-must-pass-the-more-act-c867c35239ae
Seems like he really wants weed to be legal? Hmm wonder why? The writing's on the wall my friends. Playboy wants into the cannabis industry, they are making steps towards this end, and we have favorable conditions for legislative progress.
Don’t think branding your own cannabis line is profitable or worthwhile? Tell me why these 41 celebrity millionaires and billionaires are dummies. I’ll wait.
https://www.celebstoner.com/news/celebstoner-news/2019/07/12/top-celebrity-cannabis-brands/
Confirmation: I hear you. “This all seems pretty speculative. It would be wildly profitable if they pull this shift off. But how do we really know?” Watch this whole video:
https://finance.yahoo.com/video/playboy-ceo-telling-story-female-154907068.html
Man - this interview just gets my juices flowing. And highlights one of my favorite reasons for this play. They have so many different business avenues from which a catalyst could appear. I think paying attention, holding shares, and options on these staggered announcements over the next year is the way I am going to go about it. "There's definitely been a shift to direct-to-consumer," he (Kohn) said. "About 50 percent of our revenue today is direct-to-consumer, and that will continue to grow going forward.” “Kohn touted Playboy's portfolio of both digital and consumer products, with casino-style gaming, in particular, serving a crucial role under the company's new business model. Playboy also has its sights on the emerging cannabis market, from CBD products to marijuana products geared toward sexual health and pleasure.” "If THC does become legal in the United States, we have developed certain strains to enhance your sex life that we will launch," Kohn said. https://cheddar.com/media/playboy-goes-public-health-gaming-lifestyle-focus Oh? The CEO actually said it? Ok then. “We have developed certain strains…” They’re already working with growers on strains and genetics? Ok. There are several legal cannabis markets for those products right now, international and stateside. I expect Playboy licensed hemp and THC pre-rolls by EOY. Something like this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/842996758/10-playboy-pre-roll-tubes-limited?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pre+roll+playboy&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1 Maintaining cannabis operations can be costly and a regulatory headache. Playboy’s licensing strategy allows them to pick successful, established partners and sidestep traditional barriers to entry. You know what I like about these new markets? They’re expanding. Worldwide. And they are going to be a bigger deal than they already are with or without Playboy. Who thinks weed and gambling are going away? Too many people like that stuff. These are easy markets. And Playboy is early enough to carve out their spot in each. Fuck it, read this too: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimosman/2020/10/20/playboy-could-be-the-king-of-spacs-here-are-three-picks/?sh=2e13dcaa3e05
Numbers: You want numbers? I got numbers. As per the company’s most recent SEC filing:
“For the year ended December 31, 2019, and the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s historical consolidated revenue was $78.1 million and $101.3 million, respectively, historical consolidated net income (loss) was $(23.6) million and $(4.8) million, respectively, and Adjusted EBITDA was $13.1 million and $21.8 million, respectively.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Licensing segment contributed $44.2 million in revenue and $31.1 million in net income.”
“In the ninth months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Direct-to-Consumer segment contributed $40.2 million in revenue and net income of $0.1 million.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Digital Subscriptions and Content segment contributed $15.4 million in revenue and net income of $7.4 million.”
They are profitable across all three of their current business segments.
“Playboy’s return to the public markets presents a transformed, streamlined and high-growth business. The Company has over $400 million in cash flows contracted through 2029, sexual wellness products available for sale online and in over 10,000 major retail stores in the US, and a growing variety of clothing and branded lifestyle and digital gaming products.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
Growth: Playboy has massive growth in China and massive growth potential in India. “In China, where Playboy has spent more than 25 years building its business, our licensees have an enormous footprint of nearly 2,500 brick and mortar stores and 1,000 ecommerce stores selling high quality, Playboy-branded men’s casual wear, shoes/footwear, sleepwear, swimwear, formal suits, leather & non-leather goods, sweaters, active wear, and accessories. We have achieved significant growth in China licensing revenues over the past several years in partnership with strong licensees and high-quality manufacturers, and we are planning for increased growth through updates to our men’s fashion lines and expansion into adjacent categories in men’s skincare and grooming, sexual wellness, and women’s fashion, a category where recent launches have been well received.” The men’s market in China is about the same size as the entire population of the United States and European Union combined. Playboy is a leading brand in this market. They are expanding into the women’s market too. Did you know CBD toothpaste is huge in China? China loves CBD products and has hemp fields that dwarf those in the US. If Playboy expands their CBD line China it will be huge. Did you know the gambling money in Macau absolutely puts Las Vegas to shame? Technically, it's illegal on the mainland, but in reality, there is a lot of gambling going on in China. https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/10/19/magic-johnson-and-uncle-buds-cbd-brand-enter-china-via-tmall-partnership/?sh=271776ca411e “In India, Playboy today has a presence through select apparel licensees and hospitality establishments. Consumer research suggests significant growth opportunities in the territory with Playboy’s brand and categories of focus.” “Playboy Enterprises has announced the expansion of its global consumer products business into India as part of a partnership with Jay Jay Iconic Brands, a leading fashion and lifestyle Company in India.” “The Indian market today is dominated by consumers under the age of 35, who represent more than 65 percent of the country’s total population and are driving India’s significant online shopping growth. The Playboy brand’s core values of playfulness and exploration resonate strongly with the expressed desires of today’s younger millennial consumers. For us, Playboy was the perfect fit.” “The Playboy international portfolio has been flourishing for more than 25 years in several South Asian markets such as China and Japan. In particular, it has strategically targeted the millennial and gen-Z audiences across categories such as apparel, footwear, home textiles, eyewear and watches.” https://www.licenseglobal.com/industry-news/playboy-expands-global-footprint-india It looks like they gave COVID the heisman in terms of net damage sustained: “Although Playboy has not suffered any material adverse consequences to date from the COVID-19 pandemic, the business has been impacted both negatively and positively. The remote working and stay-at-home orders resulted in the closure of the London Playboy Club and retail stores of Playboy’s licensees, decreasing licensing revenues in the second quarter, as well as causing supply chain disruption and less efficient product development thereby slowing the launch of new products. However, these negative impacts were offset by an increase in Yandy’s direct-to-consumer sales, which have benefited in part from overall increases in online retail sales so far during the pandemic.” Looks like the positives are long term (Yandy acquisition) and the negatives are temporary (stay-at-home orders).
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921006093/tm213766-1_defa14a.htm
This speaks to their ability to maintain a financially solvent company throughout the transition phase to the aforementioned areas. They’d say some fancy shit like “expanded business model to encompass four key revenue streams: Sexual Wellness, Style & Apparel, Gaming & Lifestyle, and Beauty & Grooming.” I hear “we’re just biding our time with these trinkets until those dollar dollar bill y’all markets are fully up and running.” But the truth is these existing revenue streams are profitable, scalable, and rapidly expanding Playboy’s e-commerce segment around the world.
"Even in the face of COVID this year, we've been able to grow EBITDA over 100 percent and revenue over 68 percent, and I expect that to accelerate going into 2021," he said. “Playboy is accelerating its growth in company-owned and branded consumer products in attractive and expanding markets in which it has a proven history of brand affinity and consumer spend.”
Also in the SEC filing, the Time Frame:
“As we detailed in the definitive proxy statement, the SPAC stockholder meeting to vote on the transaction has been set for February 9th, and, subject to stockholder approval and satisfaction of the other closing conditions, we expect to complete the merger and begin trading on NASDAQ under ticker PLBY shortly thereafter,” concluded Kohn.
The Players: Suhail “The Whale” Rizvi (HMFIC), Ben “The Bridge” Kohn (CEO), “lil” Suying Liu & “Big” Dong Liu (Young-gun China gang). I encourage you to look these folks up. The real OG here is Suhail Rizvi. He’s from India originally and Chairman of the Board for the new PLBY company. He was an early investor in Twitter, Square, Facebook and others. His firm, Rizvi Traverse, currently invests in Instacart, Pinterest, Snapchat, Playboy, and SpaceX. Maybe you’ve heard of them. “Rizvi, who owns a sprawling three-home compound in Greenwich, Connecticut, and a 1.65-acre estate in Palm Beach, Florida, near Bill Gates and Michael Bloomberg, moved to Iowa Falls when he was five. His father was a professor of psychology at Iowa. Along with his older brother Ashraf, a hedge fund manager, Rizvi graduated from Wharton business school.” “Suhail Rizvi: the 47-year-old 'unsocial' social media baron: When Twitter goes public in the coming weeks (2013), one of the biggest winners will be a 47-year-old financier who guards his secrecy so zealously that he employs a person to take down his Wikipedia entry and scrub his photos from the internet. In IPO, Twitter seeks to be 'anti-FB'” “Prince Alwaleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia looks like a big Twitter winner. So do the moneyed clients of Jamie Dimon. But as you’ve-got-to-be-joking wealth washed over Twitter on Thursday — a company that didn’t exist eight years ago was worth $31.7 billion after its first day on the stock market — the non-boldface name of the moment is Suhail R. Rizvi. Mr. Rizvi, 47, runs a private investment company that is the largest outside investor in Twitter with a 15.6 percent stake worth $3.8 billion at the end of trading on Thursday (November, 2013). Using a web of connections in the tech industry and in finance, as well as a hearty dose of good timing, he brought many prominent names in at the ground floor, including the Saudi prince and some of JPMorgan’s wealthiest clients.” https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/technology/at-twitter-working-behind-the-scenes-toward-a-billion-dollar-payday.html Y’all like that Arab money? How about a dude that can call up Saudi Princes and convince them to spend? Funniest shit about I read about him: “Rizvi was able to buy only $100 million in Facebook shortly before its IPO, thus limiting his returns, according to people with knowledge of the matter.” Poor guy :(
He should be fine with the 16 million PLBY shares he's going to have though :)
Shuhail also has experience in the entertainment industry. He’s invested in companies like SESAC, ICM, and Summit Entertainment. He’s got Hollywood connections to blast this stuff post-merger. And he’s at least partially responsible for that whole Twilight thing. I’m team Edward btw.
I really like what Suhail has done so far. He’s lurked in the shadows while Kohn is consolidating the company, trimming the fat, making Playboy profitable, and aiming the ship at modern growing markets.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-twitter-ipo-rizvi-insight/insight-little-known-hollywood-investor-poised-to-score-with-twitter-ipo-idUSBRE9920VW20131003
Ben “The Bridge” Kohn is an interesting guy. He’s the connection between Rizvi Traverse and Playboy. He’s both CEO of Playboy and was previously Managing Partner at Rizvi Traverse. Ben seems to be the voice of the Playboy-Rizvi partnership, which makes sense with Suhail’s privacy concerns. Kohn said this:
“Today is a very big day for all of us at Playboy and for all our partners globally. I stepped into the CEO role at Playboy in 2017 because I saw the biggest opportunity of my career. Playboy is a brand and platform that could not be replicated today. It has massive global reach, with more than $3B of global consumer spend and products sold in over 180 countries. Our mission – to create a culture where all people can pursue pleasure – is rooted in our 67-year history and creates a clear focus for our business and role we play in people’s lives, providing them with the products, services and experiences that create a lifestyle of pleasure. We are taking this step into the public markets because the committed capital will enable us to accelerate our product development and go-to-market strategies and to more rapidly build our direct to consumer capabilities,” said Ben Kohn, CEO of Playboy.
“Playboy today is a highly profitable commerce business with a total addressable market projected in the trillions of dollars,” Mr. Kohn continued, “We are actively selling into the Sexual Wellness consumer category, projected to be approximately $400 billion in size by 2024, where our recently launched intimacy products have rolled out to more than 10,000 stores at major US retailers in the United States. Combined with our owned & operated ecommerce Sexual Wellness initiatives, the category will contribute more than 40% of our revenue this year. In our Apparel and Beauty categories, our collaborations with high-end fashion brands including Missguided and PacSun are projected to achieve over $50M in retail sales across the US and UK this year, our leading men’s apparel lines in China expanded to nearly 2500 brick and mortar stores and almost 1000 digital stores, and our new men’s and women’s fragrance line recently launched in Europe. In Gaming, our casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth. Our product strategy is informed by years of consumer data as we actively expand from a purely licensing model into owning and operating key high-growth product lines focused on driving profitability and consumer lifetime value. We are thrilled about the future of Playboy. Our foundation has been set to drive further growth and margin, and with the committed capital from this transaction and our more than $180M in NOLs, we will take advantage of the opportunity in front of us, building to our goal of $100M of adjusted EBITDA in 2025.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
Also, according to their Form 4s, “Big” Dong Liu and “lil” Suying Liu just loaded up with shares last week. These guys are brothers and seem like the Chinese market connection. They are only 32 & 35 years old. I don’t even know what that means, but it's provocative.
https://www.secform4.com/insider-trading/1832415.htm
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-ii-002600994.html
Y’all like that China money?
“Mr. Liu has been the Chief Financial Officer of Dongguan Zhishang Photoelectric Technology Co., Ltd., a regional designer, manufacturer and distributor of LED lights serving commercial customers throughout Southern China since November 2016, at which time he led a syndicate of investments into the firm. Mr. Liu has since overseen the financials of Dongguan Zhishang as well as provided strategic guidance to its board of directors, advising on operational efficiency and cash flow performance. From March 2010 to October 2016, Mr. Liu was the Head of Finance at Feidiao Electrical Group Co., Ltd., a leading Chinese manufacturer of electrical outlets headquartered in Shanghai and with businesses in the greater China region as well as Europe.”
Dr. Suying Liu, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp., commented, “Playboy is a unique and compelling investment opportunity, with one of the world’s largest and most recognized brands, its proven consumer affinity and spend, and its enormous future growth potential in its four product segments and new and existing geographic regions. I am thrilled to be partnering with Ben and his exceptional team to bring his vision to fruition.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
These guys are good. They have a proven track record of success across multiple industries. Connections and money run deep with all of these guys. I don’t think they’re in the game to lose.
I was going to write a couple more paragraphs about why you should have a look at this but really the best thing you can do is read this SEC filing from a couple days ago. It explains the situation in far better detail. Specifically, look to page 137 and read through their strategy. Also, look at their ownership percentages and compensation plans including the stock options and their prices. The financials look great, revenue is up 90% Q3, and it looks like a bright future.
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
I’m hesitant to attach this because his position seems short term, but I’m going to with a warning because he does hit on some good points (two are below his link) and he’s got a sizable position in this thing (500k+ on margin, I think). I don’t know this guy but he did look at the same publicly available info and make roughly the same prediction, albeit without the in depth gambling or cannabis mention. You can also search reddit for ‘MCAC’ and very few relevant results come up and none of them even come close to really looking at this thing.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gOvAd6lebs452hFlWWbxVjQ3VMsjGBkbJeXRwDwIJfM/edit?usp=sharing
“Also, before you people start making claims that Playboy is a “boomer” company, STOP RIGHT THERE. This is not a good argument. Simply put. The only thing that matters is Playboy’s name recognition, not their archaic business model which doesn’t even exist anymore as they have completely repurposed their business.”
“Imagine not buying $MCAC at a 400M valuation lol. Streetwear department is worth 1B alone imo.”
Considering the ridiculous Chinese growth as a lifestyle brand, he’s not wrong.
Current Cultural Significance and Meme Value: A year ago I wouldn’t have included this section but the events from the last several weeks (even going back to tsla) have proven that a company’s ability to meme and/or gain social network popularity can have an effect. Tik-tok, Snapchat, Twitch, Reddit, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter. They all have Playboy stuff on them. Kids in middle and highschool know what Playboy is but will likely never see or touch one of the magazines in person. They’ll have a Playboy hoodie though. Crazy huh? A lot like GME, PLBY would hugely benefit from meme-value stock interest to drive engagement towards their new business model while also building strategic coffers. This interest may not directly and/or significantly move the stock price but can generate significant interest from larger players who will.
Bull Case: The year is 2025. Playboy is now the world leader pleasure brand. They began by offering Playboy licensed gaming products, including gambling products, direct to consumers through existing names. By 2022, demand has skyrocketed and Playboy has designed and released their own gambling platforms. In 2025, they are also a leading cannabis brand in the United States and Canada with proprietary strains and products geared towards sexual wellness. Cannabis was legalized in the US in 2023 when President Biden got glaucoma but had success with cannabis treatment. He personally pushes for cannabis legalization as he steps out of office after his first term. Playboy has also grown their brand in China and India to multi-billion per year markets. The stock goes up from 11ish to 100ish and everyone makes big gains buying somewhere along the way.
Bear Case: The United States does a complete 180 on marijuana and gambling. President Biden overdoses on marijuana in the Lincoln bedroom when his FDs go tits up and he loses a ton of money in his sports book app after the Fighting Blue Hens narrowly lose the National Championship to Bama. Playboy is unable to expand their cannabis and gambling brands but still does well with their worldwide lifestyle brand. They gain and lose some interest in China and India but the markets are too large to ignore them completely. The stock goes up from 11ish to 13ish and everyone makes 15-20% gains.
TL;DR: Successful technology/e-commerce investment firm took over Playboy to turn it into a porn, online gambling/gaming, sports book, cannabis company, worldwide lifestyle brand that promotes sexual wellness, vetern access, women-ownership, minority-ownership, and “pleasure for all”. Does a successful online team reinventing an antiquated physical copy giant sound familiar? No options yet, shares only for now. $11.38 per share at time of writing. My guess? $20 by the end of February. $50 by EOY. This is not financial advice. I am not qualified to give financial advice. I’m just sayin’ I would personally use a Playboy sports book app while smoking a Playboy strain specific joint and it would be cool if they did that. Do your own research. You’d probably want to start here:
WARNING - POTENTIALLY NSFW - SEXY MODELS AHEAD - no actual nudity though
https://s26.q4cdn.com/895475556/files/doc_presentations/Playboy-Craig-Hallum-Conference-Investor-Presentation-11_17_20-compressed.pdf
Or here:
https://www.mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/default.aspx
Jimmy Chill: “Get into any SPAC at $10 or $11 and you are going to make money.”
STL;DR: Buy MCAC. MCAC > PLBY couple weeks. Rocketship. Moon.
Position: 5000 shares. I will buy short, medium, and long-dated calls once available.

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the cosmopolitan six thousand five hundred dollar bank the bonus live play tonight last night you guys wanted some mighty cash i found you a mighty cash double up look at those numbers that we're working with same format last night we do 500 tickets however some of my tickets are a thousand bucks they're just easier that way so i'll have to do some uh thinking and uh math but i get kerry here to help me out and i got all my lovely and fans so ticket starts at a thousand dollars so we're not gonna go below 500 guys so this one should be pretty easy max volume bank the bonus live play 13.50 a spin [Music] mighty cash double up let's see this haywire five or more for the bonus [Music] mr classic tv says punky power thank you mr classic tv oh yeah mr classic tv i think you won one of those blenders or um mixers but i need to get your address so send me an email or message me on facebook so i know jimmy d won the other mixer but i'm pretty sure you are the other winner so i want to get that sent out to you yes haywire we got something big oh 45 bucks good ones big one oh i couldn't drop like the maxi because it doubles up [Music] wait there we go [Music] and carrie we trust so we're gonna have him hit the button all right gary [Music] wow that's huge let's keep getting these red ones yes this is not bad red [Music] that wasn't a good spin but if your first two are pretty solid so i forgive you [Music] yolanda rory love you bry mighty cash is the best i love you too yolanda hopefully it will come to new york here soon yeah this is a decent oh yolanda which one do i pick yolanda's picking guys left right middle if yolanda's in here we'll give her a first chance to pick one two or three your left middle right yolanda i'm gonna wait for her i am i'm in plenty of time [Music] i'm a no hurry this is a nice little bonus yolanda gets to pick [Music] leland assistant too all right here it is shoot that's fine all right let's do it anything filled up down there okay extra 13.50 [Music] yes too bad we couldn't fill that up this is not a bad little hit i'll do some ticket math later on because uh i had a thousand dollar ticket but a good start yesterday we started off great and then it went south and if smaller bets work we'll do smaller bets but i am getting some revenge on that 25 cash code it's a jackpot to start the night what do you know [Music] yolanda has no reason to be sorry how's the picture quality everybody we have one person keep saying bad picture but everybody else says [Music] [Music] nothing [Music] all right let me see if i can uh [Music] all right [Music] all right is that good now how does that look perfect all right couple backup spins come on please please please [Music] backup spins galore i saw it go by too all right two thousand dollars will be the ending point [Music] all right first game get a win nice start all right so this ticket guys oh cougar girls 9.99 super justice happy new year all right i reset it i don't know what else to do so i did reset the wi-fi i mean the picture i am at mercy of the casino and romeo evan welcome to the bod rubber ducky club all right guys since um the same ticket so five hundred dollars again i've got these thousand dollar tickets i have to use them twice so the floor is going to be 1500 all right all right 17 16 a spin [Music] that's huge 300 that's good [Music] [Applause] yep i i work with what i have so [Music] maybe it'll get better but i did reset it twice after that i can't do much i apologize but i'm working with what they have but thank you to 800 people watching one more [Music] open this pot 24. [Music] 40 bucks [Music] yes scott i just re-logged into wi-fi for the third time i did reset it and i reset it again so [Applause] [Music] all right before the bonus i'll see if i can fix the wi-fi whoops 73. if you're winning with that well i find it just keep it that way give me one second guys this is my best four games [Music] which one do you guys look all right which one should i pick i've never done this thank you raja what do you guys want [Music] miss mary brian thank you for the live play i really activity oh thank you miss mary [Music] coins [Music] all right coins all coins come on yes oh we're going to do something on the left [Music] chris had patches behind me for me hey one more time i logged out i forgot the network and i logged back in [Music] guys not much i can do guys so the i'm doing the best i can but tell me it's blurry and tell me it's unwatchable and you're gonna unsubscribe above and beyond because i don't control the wi-fi you're gonna unsubscribe from my channel uh i'm not trying to be negative here but don't say crap like that that's just not cool all right guys i'm doing the best i can to give you guys some bonus live play and kyle sell data does not work at all in vegas anyways we got a bonus 776 dollars all right there's some backup spans the floor we'll get 2800 2750 2800 we'll see how it goes and we'll do the top up if we hit it [Music] all right so 27.50 is gonna be the floor so the first thousand in we're gonna have at least 27.50 so that's a great start tonight the pot is a little over 6500 but that's what the tickets i had available was they're gonna make that work but thank you all for tuning in thank you for you know the watching the earlier live play and we got a super chat herbert d brian you're doing fine ignore the complaint all right one more spin and we're gonna cash out so far it's a good little start [Music] all right let's move what do you guys want to see next is my lucky players card [Music] so [Music] those are not multi-dino [Music] yep how you doing yeah i hope so i reset it again it's still really bad i i re-logged in crushing it you hit reconnect i hit reconnect yeah it's still brilliant now all right we're back live all right thank you all right guys garager just help me out it's great usually for a little bit and then it kind of sputters out all right guys how about some konami konami time [Music] [Music] it can go to a hotel you go to hotel next all right and play konami games radiant witch 15 to spin so the floor on this game is gonna be 500. because it's a thousand dollar ticket let's do it guys but thank you all for tuning in hey brian i got a super chat for you one dollar lucky super chat from jose all right usually the usually for a super chat has to be at least 1.99 or higher to say anything doesn't want it we'll try one this is going in the community pot there we go so now you're in action you have a point one tenth of a percentage all right taxi 10 000. yeah we need to go to the other one all right we're gonna try the hotel one all right we're gonna try one more wi-fi guys i apologize all right all right last try guys after this we're just gonna wing it but waffs 73 in bod we trust thank you wasps genomes just keep crushing it all right guys if i missed a super chat then i did do my best doing my best all right here we go it's an iphone 12 pro mac so it should the phone's not the issue here oh i think it was one away from that symbol nice you love silver lucky 25 super super chat flip phone it's a motorola gopro i have no idea come on three or more bonus symbols may trigger the money galaxy feature oh you're not like that okay [Music] we switched the wi-fi network so hopefully guys hopefully this helps it's holding up so we'll take it at this point jose ah i tried [Music] guys it has nothing to do with the camera on the phone it's the wifi [Music] chris pat you're doing great brian of data oh that's my new name brian of data 9150 so i heard you made a killing in the stock market today had a good day you guys haven't checked out raja makes money the mods have been actually posting the link so thank you mod for doing that come on kanami give me some heck yeah [Music] gosh you guys i might have to cancel live play early tonight if i have to keep modding for myself [Music] come on it's due [Music] uh now i get that radiant witch symbol when i don't need it yep once again [Music] well i would go play it and that's that's it that's the 500 mark so [Music] all right let's keep moving on guys [Music] now um somebody specifically told me i should go play high stakes [Music] you know what maybe he'll do some video poker since carrie's here tonight how would you guys want to see some ultimate at the video poker i think that could be fun 1250 spin max that volume out yay or nay on video poker oops stephen hall he requested this game tonight so he got it apple alert for guys tonight 5 30 ah so close 5 30 pacific time you know what i did really good on last night was uh one more that uh i hit those two nice jackpots on uh also environment really i haven't if we went at one more and open up the taco that is like another four i never have like an ultimate fire like played it again last night but the last couple ever since i started playing that another one ultra hot megalink i didn't go to those now they've done these whole shows okay i never liked it because i never got the bonus but now we've got all these great bonuses they're gonna take 5 30 guys the big jackpot will be live on the main facebook page with youtube live play to follow at six o'clock pacific time [Music] yes we got a bonus see what happens when i push the button all right big one here we go carrie go ahead and hit the button carrie terry first lucky raja high rollers i had to mix it up it didn't work for me yesterday all right raja your turn your turn nah all right jose hit the button [Music] okay there we go that's 125 for jose tracy says i feel bbb coming for b.o.d well we believe in b.o.d everybody hit the thumbs up jose you're on the roll ready another 125. you're fired i'm fired i'll come in and save the day all right come on all right you're in all right here we go there you go that's all you guys are worth 25. oh this is 50 cents it's 12 minutes all right carrie you're back in it come on 62.50 jose tagging you back in you're hired again come on that's this is a brd spin oh okay there it is all right same as the raja come on nature just drop it oh really i carry you're back in [Music] all right jose we'll worry about the price of the grand if we come to that all right it comes down to body [Applause] that's something 362. [Music] it is but yours is a lot tighter mine's maybe the spring's gone or something [Applause] [Music] all right backup spins we'll play it down to what 500. how does that sound that sounds great thank you one more sorry he's live right now [Music] ma'am it's 45 dollars i'm sorry that's my gunnery jose my agent told me that all right big congratulations to the quick father he's not going to be with us tonight and right when we got done playing about one o'clock last night went to the room get a good night's sleep at three o'clock he sent me a message he had to get an uber for a five-hour drive back to california he missed his baby being born that's why we picked this date early in the month because baby was due on the 18th so we're like okay two weeks plenty of time you know get home and yeah out of nowhere last night all right guys what do you think we should play next all right autumn moon let's do it ah guys i do not really charge 45 dollars a photo you guys can believe whatever you want this one's due i'm into this game for at least a thousand bucks i get this one two oh the better match yeah no no but this one yesterday all right here we go twenty dollars to spend fifty four hundred dollar major hundred and three thousand dollar grand this is slower than like that first [Music] so the floor is 500 on this game unless we decide to play a second round on it so thousand dollar ticket in the floor come on what whoa no oh i thought you had it oh wow how did you screw that up very easily oh i thought i had it thousands left what happened to that 20 orb what happened to that 20 dollar orb tracy if jose twerks upside down like naomi there will be mega booms wow you've been requesting the twerk upside down [Music] diane mccall says whatever rajo says about you after i fell for the malaria hoax [Laughter] so diane mccall says she doesn't believe anything you say about me after she fell for the malaria hoax when you told everybody i had malaria b.o.d uh brandon true b.o.d ah what what grand did you hit the other day when the raja was live it's probably the same as me having malaria whatever that's worth [Music] it's no minor finally [Music] the good news is i don't have malaria currently but the question is are you going to fall asleep 2 000. i knew this game was due ah yeah come on keeping it alive [Music] now i pumped well over a thousand bucks in this game last night [Music] plus in the group paul we didn't do too well either [Music] [Applause] thousand right [Music] oh here it comes 103 000 live let me at least see it i did not see it i got my glasses on and i don't see it again the drama it's left-handed does it work nope i need to mix it up is that what you do in the bedroom people got jokes today come on [Music] hopefully we keep playing well i can pay off my markers it'll be nice [Music] that's something is that tick-tock tick-tock well i only have one phone unlike some people wow you guys both have one phone wait we got so many girls and tracy d if you don't mind sending me a photos later on of all the jackpots thank you all right so the floor is gonna be three thousand bucks one more moon there's still good line hit john johnson boom boom boom in bod's room that's right [Music] yeah this machine was definitely due after i mean carrie watched me struggle on this game last night i mean struggle one more i knew this game had to do a comeback hi there how you doing today good how are you i'm doing well you can't do recording what did this gentleman tell you i'm spitting fake news again i'm gonna have to call security on you that wouldn't be the first time yeah they called him last time when he had those prostitutes you grabbed his hands on his feet caesar's palace was not a good day remember caesar's palace and that lady i was tracy says i'm waiting jose you got this bee all right cash it out so this yeah so yeah this was a new this was a fresh ticket jimmy beauty on ajita keep it up i got your hoodie in my room during his live play i'll get it for you all right cash cove 25 a spin so the floor is just under 2 500. purple and gold saw it's nice wind keep it up i'm going to purple gold and i got jimmy d there you go all right all right so the floor is like 2 400 and change what doesn't want my ticket i did this yesterday too gaming machine unable to redeem at this time that was weird and it took it cash go 25 to spend cash cove just under 2 400 sorry just under 2 500. come on make up make up for you so 24 in change [Music] 100 dollars get it oh but thank you to all the mods help out thank you to kerry all aboard or luxury line tiffany j beauty great live stream can you play some cats all right we'll do cats after this [Music] no thank you nope i'm doing well not drinking anything so i'm gonna hold off as long as we keep winning i will not have a sip of water the entire livestream i am very superstitious [Music] what did he get nice jose is on ajita as tracy d would say this ticket will be put in the bank after this machine is over that's a great observation [Music] [Music] doesn't want me to quit this game i guess no okay there you go all right couple more spins not gonna go below 2400 come on come on all right final spin on this game cash an hour all right all right so that i think it's done all right we're gonna put another thousand dollar ticket in so once again the floor is gonna be um 500 bucks i didn't have to didn't have time to break down the tickets cats here it is somebody wanted cats to send a super chat and i haven't done cats in a while so [Music] 15 to spin [Music] yes that's it i thought it looked it looked a lot better in my mind sometimes the lower bets work better that's a pay line on 15. oh fine don't have to convince me it looks like if i'm a game manufacturer i'm making 15 lines that's not one of mine [Music] yeah of all the games being different heights different angles it's not always the easiest sometimes to uh that's it fifteen all right 30 that's fine 30 bucks on cats ah 200 nice [Music] come on bank the bonus that's good huh 400. nice [Music] that's right johnny milwaukee loves all the games that have cats in it kitty glitter miss kitty [Music] bonus [Music] [Music] what do you think should i play 45 a spin on catch or keep it here at 30. 500 is the floor we're going for that bonus oh yeah 250. i'll tell you what we'll do actually choose the max you can only play 30 bucks so by default oh bonus nope no nope gina anyway can you play black widow uh maybe you'll do some black widow i'll tell you what since we're doing well in the game we'll i don't want to lose any money on this game so we'll set the floor in a thousand bucks so we guarantee we don't lose any money playing cats [Music] i hate to do well in the machine and go broke trying to hit the bonus so [Music] come on okay 200 just for that [Music] and if we break the two 2000 mark maybe he'll set a floor above that come on full screen say meow i likey [Music] so if the raja ever tells you something about me 95 of the time it's not true he said you were an awesome individual b.o.d yep see told you now he knows better than joke about my dogs so oh yeah that's like the one thing he knows so if he says something about my dogs that may be true but besides that i never had malaria [Music] what's not a pay line but this jagged thing is that's bs hey ben hello [Music] don't get called on me kitty cats [Music] all right um is black widow on here all right this game's getting cold i'm going to use this extra 186 dollars for black widow so the forum black widow's still going to be 500. i so whatever that's worth executive vod decision [Music] forty dollars to spend on black widow [Music] the floor is at 500 on the game he's taking some of that extra money [Music] all right a black widow floor is five hundred dollars oh there's yep i that's a lot of people say i look like the purple guy in black widow they're the pink guy does that look like b.o.d what do you guys think i think it is they modeled it after me maybe that's right the raja this is his favorite game because he gets to see me all the time [Music] wow cheryl clark blackwidow be nice to b.o.d thank you we don't think we had a single playback of anything on black widow yet [Music] not a single does black widow hate b.o.d looks like ben affleck oh there we go on the last spin it pays 160 says don't quit on me [Music] ah mark wahlberg all right final spin and we're putting this ticket in the bank for cats and black widow so cats and black widow is done now i did play some um dancing drums earlier today and i got killed 2 000 down on dancing drums so based on that it's dancing drums revenge [Music] time [Music] yeah i saw my afternoon live play we did play some dancing drums so what do i got left 500 500 500 000 so 6500 in tickets i have 2500 left let's just make it easy to put a 500 ticket here so once again guys i had to get some thousand dollar tickets i couldn't get the 500 so that's why we used some tickets twice 1760 a bet and we're going for three if we get it we're going for three the last three games we haven't done anything so we're due for another bonus here jimbo come on drums let's see a bonus i agree timbo so the mini's at 178 miners 626 that seems awfully high you son of a yeah majors at 9 000 yeah we're going for three because that's what i said all right here we go all right big money there we go that's it [Music] yes oh one more dragon that helped 120 yeah 360. [Music] all right 660 dollar bonus [Music] all right we're gonna play some more uh like 750 floor on this game we need some backup spins let's get another bonus [Music] you know screw it we'll do the mystery if we get it again that sounds fine with me mystery if we get another bonus i just hit five drums [Music] all right final spin unless we hit something um [Music] all right whoops says uh [Music] top dollar let's do it [Music] a lot of people like the double top dollar [Music] yeah 210 dollars to spend sorry 10 dollars a credit 20 [Music] we've been doing better on the lower d knobs right now so [Music] she says always double she's an expert so yeah 10's on there i'm putting a thousand dollar ticket in so the floor will be 500. [Music] so it's 20 dollars yes we did some higher spins earlier going backwards still good slide play [Music] carla howard says good luck tonight hashtag bonus time hope you're staying warm up there [Music] carla [Music] oh [Music] [Music] is my card working all right let's see this top dollar logo [Music] so close there we go [Music] almost 2 000 people watching thank you guys for tuning in tonight make the bonus live play from the cosmopolitan las vegas hit that subscribe button keep notifications on because sometimes i do surprise live play like this morning last spin [Music] and i did some like hundred dollar huffing puff this morning all right let's move on to some pinball [Music] two credit pinball we'll do 20 to spin on this too yes we'll do the video poker [Music] let's set pinball yeah uh these old school pinballs you can't see them anymore you don't find them much all the casinos that have them do not get rid of them looks like the new pinball they have it's a little different format 20 to spin so with a three credit pinball you get five shots with two credit pinball you get four [Music] that was 250 okay give this some more ammo to hit this pinball come on come on [Music] ah so close we have 1500 left after this the big jackpot will be live at 5 30 pacific time so [Music] and maybe i'll do some surprise late night live play tonight you never know that's why you have to subscribe and click those notifications on if i do like it yeah yeah it's something i was waiting for like yeah eight grand i'm like my like time just kind of stopped okay for me i'm like is it gonna happen [Music] it is what time what time is it carrie right now i think about five o'clock or so so it's 4 45 yes there we go uh i think i'm gonna keep the ten dollar genome it's working i hate to blow through everything on the twenty five dollar d numb we ain't broke i rather win a little bit of money on a smaller bet than lose more money on a larger bet [Music] yeah maybe some we'll see late no promises i did a surprise live play this afternoon [Music] and it's not a surprise if i tell you happy new year b.o.d and good luck well thank you sonny happy new year to you come on pinball get a couple decent line hips golden nugget that's a casino we're at the cosmopolitan is there a game called golden nugget oh yeah [Music] what was your biggest hit um nice on 15 bets yeah can't beat that [Music] i know where a wild wild nugget is but um some guy last night kept saying wild wild nugget the whole time and it really gave me bad juju and we lost so no wild wild nugget tonight i'm not a fan of that game anyways but we got a come on bonus 80. okay 250 it's a good start come on 80 80 no 500 bucks come on 80 80. [Music] [Applause] all right we're at 8 40. like 7 60 something like that get it five back upstairs legit whoops taught me so my final spin okay cash now [Music] 1500 left [Music] carrie and i gonna play some video poker for five thirty dollars to spin ultimate x video poker scary carry and body now beauty is gonna make the best choices oh thank you for that i'll do the best i can i got carrie here so we'll [Music] oh i didn't sorry i was um live when you texted me oh you're fine [Music] thank you thank you do you want a cosmopolitan no no no hold nothing or yeah all right oh so i was playing this earlier i got dealt four to the royal correct carry yeah i got dealt four to the royal i had a four-time multiplier up top or something and of course i did not hit it we'll be back to slots after this open ender all right seven queens [Music] maybe i should have held the aces michael alphonse in the house check out live stream casino shenanigans on facebook featuring michael halphon nothing all right the no holds barred anything goes facebook gambling drinking debauchery group sanders lodge shared the length thank you okay in order here we go oh come on give us something here come on [Music] all right here we go four to the flush let's hit this yeah look at the next all right come on four of a kind wherever oh come on oh come on top here okay guys all right come on could be eight thousand dollars it could be all right here we go a little dramatic pause come on twenty thousand dollars here it comes [Music] oh man yep yeah i got del four to the royal with the multiplier i had a couple good deals today [Music] here we go [Music] all right here we go come on four of a kind four of a kind king queen [Music] hey quads there we go oh cheers that's why i got somebody else here [Music] maybe if i do a late night it'd be all video poker live stream it's a possibility if anybody wants to do a video poker with me tonight maybe i'm going for it oh you just look at it [Music] okay so it's open ender too yeah so you need a two or seven eclipse [Music] there we go [Applause] 2500 [Music] all right [Music] nice all right so we're at 28 10. i'll probably play down 2 500 or so yeah um come on here it comes guys let's play for a miracle carry i'm good right yeah ah tyler smith the b.o.d for president carrie lee for vp i like it okay let's do it again come on four of a kind [Music] [Music] [Music] yes sir oh come on four aces come on [Music] [Music] okay that's right it's lacey from the slot ladies the one and only will she go live tonight i don't know if you guys want to send her money on only fans i think she may go live again tonight but hopefully is that how you send people money oh yeah so if you check out lacey's instagram and tracyd or whoever has it share it in the chat and on instagram they have your cash app in there so if somebody wants to send lacey 100 bucks or she gets up to 500 tonight i think she may go live again [Music] oh somebody sent you 100 you just need 400 more all right that sounds fair and whoever sends the most money can pick the game [Music] it'd probably be after the big jackpot tonight probably directly after before the group poll [Music] it actually was good she told me my left arm was sore because my right arm was tight [Music] yeah i had the hundred minute in the end well worth it eight times there we go anything i have a mask on my braces oh there we go can we get the flush can we get a flush ah yeah that's a good way to end it positive money and tracy d thank you mod tracy just shared lacey's instagram so just to confirm her cash app is linked in the buy over instagram right yeah all right so if she gets 500 tonight 400 more she will be going live [Music] am i down only 500 left yeah i guess i'm only at 500 left tonight wow i thought it had more oh yeah we had the thousand between those two machines right so what do we want to do for the last so let me think about schmidt i put 500 in there 500 here okay we all know what's going to happen last guys 25 spins huff and puff [Music] that's right guys huff and puff to end the night and wild wild nugget is being played i was going to end it tonight in a wild wild nugget but some gentleman is playing it so i can't do that yep 25 spins we're doing well we're gonna do 25 spins we did it yesterday for a thousand bucks we couldn't hit so maybe it's due that that logic worked on the uh what game did the logic were gone oh autumn moon we lost yesterday all right here we go 25 spins huff and puff let's do it um yeah maybe some late night live play i'll talk to some people and figure out a game plan there's no promises [Music] well i got some money to throw in the pot it could be video poker who knows two more yeah yeah there we go by the way we're gonna end it we got backup spins all right i'm excited yesterday was terrible today is much much better one more oops man i didn't mean to do that [Music] oh come on don't be like that it is going to be like that we got backup spin so there's one point we just want a coin [Music] ouch and the actual three games only played seven dollars and fifty cents it was bad [Music] 500 bucks will be the floor [Music] thank you that was not a good bonus nope nope nope [Music] come on the volume is maxed out that is not the issue what are you gonna do one more spin to end the night on bank the bonus live play i don't i would like to play it through but i don't know if that's fair because everybody has to agree on it so based on that um i'm okay thank you though so but guys thank you so much on behalf of b.o.d scary carrie and lacey we will see you soon remember check her out on instagram camera's on you just let you know oh hi taking my these are not i can't walk in them so i'm switching all right so check her out on instagram if she gets 500 today she's going live and you pick the game if you're the highest donor and also check her out on only fans so all right guys thanks to glot and i will see you guys later on maybe late night tonight bye

Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.

Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.

Have you ever played card games online for money? If not, what online games can you play with playing cards and make money?
Let’s have a look at different card games to play online for real money. These Indian card games can be played online from home to make real money with ease.
What is the best online money making card games to play with friends?
Almost everyone has a fascinating soft corner for the realm of making money while having fun. The best way to earn real money or cash by playing online rummy card games.
Yes, there are many real money card games online in India, where you can play online games with your friends or strangers. In that most of the persons choose card games for earn real money online!
List of Online Card Games For Money Played by Professionals:

1. Indian Rummy
2. Poker
3. Joker Wild
4. Hearts
5. Baccarat
6. Blackjack
7. Texas Hold’em

Indian Rummy
Indian Rummy is probably the most loved 13 card game that is the all-time favorite of a majority of professionals.
You can earn money by playing online rummy with thousands of players across the world from an app that can be easily downloaded to your device.
How to:

• Mostly played by two to six people, the game revolves around 13 cards that are distributed to each of the players, and the rest are kept at the center of the table.
• To win the game, a player needs to make three or four sets, and each player has to draw cards from the center of the table to make the set.
• Once you made a valid sequence, you need to make shout out as “Show” to declare the winning hand.

Out of many rummy sites or mobile app, you can choose Classic Rummy Plus App for its safe, secure & hassle free online gaming experience.
Classic Rummy offers top-quality user experience along with amazing offers.
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Download Rummy Game App Now! Earn Real Money
Key Features of Rummy Game:

• Play Rummy Online – Safe, Secure and Rewarding!
• User-friendly Multi-table Feature
• Customized User Experience
• Special Promotions to earn money
• Designed for both ios and android
• Variants in Rummy:Pool RummyPoints RummyDeals Rummy

Poker
Poker is one of the finest online card games you can play. It is the most played money game that is still in the market for its unique genre.
Is online poker a good way to make money? Yes, with a wide range of users across the globe, online poker enables users to make money in a hassle-free manner.
How to:

• The aim of the game is to have the best hand possible out of your two private cards and five public cards.
• Even if you are opting for the online poker rooms, these are equally amazing because you can play from the comfort of your home.
• You can play quick online cash games that are available for all stakes and take part in some global tournaments operating worldwide.
• You can find online poker apps for both android and ios platforms.

You can play poker online for real money or for fun. Most online poker platforms provide the desktop version as well as the mobile version of the game.
Key Features of Poker Game:

• Played with a 52 card deck
• Can be played by 2 to 14 players
• A poker hand comprises 5 cards
• Variants in Poker:Texas Hold’emOmahaRAZZ

Joker Wild
The aim of this variant of the card game is to get the best five-card hand, and this is ideally a variation of video poker.
How to:

• If you are stepping into online gaming where professionals make a lot of money, then this game can be a great alternative.
• This game uses a 53-card deck and consists of one joker. After you place your bet, you will receive five cards.
• The goal of the game is to obtain the best 5 card hand possible. Simple as that!

Key Features of Joker Wild Game:

• Authentic Vegas style games
• Designed for both iOS and android

Joker wild game offers amazing opportunities to make money on an online platform in a safe and secure manner.
Hearts
This is one simple card game that can be played by any beginner) and is played by four players.
How to:

• Though there are some complicated passing rules, if you do practice, then you can always play the game and win big.
• A lot of players play the game by setting a certain monetary value for each point and settle the difference after the game is over.

“Play Online Card Games for Real Money”
Key Features of Hearts Game:

• Trick-taking playing card game.
• 3-6 players’ game.
• Designed for both ios and android.

Baccarat
Baccarat revolves all around the concept of getting a total nine or a total closest to nine.
How to:

• If you are playing online, then you can choose from Punto Banco, Easy Baccarat, Mini-Baccarat or Baccarat Banque.
• There are many other variants that may seem to be interesting enough to make the online betting world sorted for you.

Key Features of Baccarat Game:

• Card game played at Casinos
• Multiplayer Game play
• Variants in Baccarat:Mini-baccaratSuper 6/Punto 2000EZ Baccarat

Blackjack
All casino lovers have played blackjack at least once in their life. You must have surely heard of blackjack as a money-making game,
How to:

• where the sole aim is to beat the dealer by getting 21 points on the first two cards.
• If you score higher than 21, then that will result in losing the stake called a bust.
• But if you score 21 or less, then you can win the game by busting the dealer.

Key Features of Blackjack Game:

• Popular global banking game known as Twenty-One
• Popular Las Vegas rules just like at the casino
• Variants in Blackjack game:Spanish 21“Vegas Style” BlackjackDouble Exposure BlackjackDouble Attack BlackjackBlackjack SwitchSuper Fun 21

Texas Hold’em
The prime goal of this game is to get the best five-card. The game is a variation of poker.
Instead of playing against the house, this game puts you against a series of players.
How to:

• The game Texas Hold’em is all about the skills that the player has rather than totally depending on the luck.
• So if you know a few strategies, then you can surely improve the game and give yourself the chance to win some real money.

Key Features of Texas Hold’em Game:

• Most popular variants of the card game of poker
• Alternative names: Hold ’em
• Play Various Tournaments and Scenarios
• Practice and Have Fun

End Note: Top 7 Money Card Games Played by Professionals
Card games for money have always been a strong favorite for any professional or newbie.
Since the day of their inception, some good card game apps have proved to have a vital impact on the whole human society.
With a history that has emerged from late imperial China to finding its place across India, Card games have come a long way.
These are some of the most tempting online cash games where you can win real money.
Earning money by playing card games purely depends upon the skills and techniques.
Let’s Play free online card games to make money and enhance our skills.
Choose your favorite online card game and earn money like a professional.

Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.

Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.

Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.

Please read this
Depressed and anxious
I am new to reddit — I’ve been browsing around for a while now, but I’ve lacked the courage to post anything. I can relate to a lot of what has been posted, and I now feel like it’s time that I share my story:
I grew up in a chaotic household (like I’m sure a lot of you have): my mother was mentally unstable given my father lacked a steady income and was constantly finding and experimenting with entrepreneurial projects that failed to provide our family with any steady source of income. My most vivid memories (when I can actually remember, which is difficult when you have MDD) are my parents fighting constantly about mortgage payments, infidelity on business trips, and lack of extended family support. My parents divorced when I was 12 — I I lived in multiple houses growing up with my mom, and my dad has been in and out of my life ever since, though he’s been more involved these past couple of years (I actually lived on his couch from 25 to 26).
However, fortunately, I was able to push through (or ignore)a lot of these family problems growing up, though I was still considered weird by a lot of people my age. I was an excellent high school student: I graduated with a 4.2 gpa and played two sports in which I was a captain for one them senior year. I went on to an elite private college on the east coast in which I played a varsity sport for 4 years. I had an amazing gf who I loved very much (we were together for 4 years in college, and one year after). I was confident and genuinely believed in myself: I didn’t have a fake belief in myself, but a deep love and care for myself. I graduated with a solid gpa as well as a couple of awards for both sports and academics.
After I graduated, my life spiraled out of control: I became deeply, deeply depressed and started to hate my self, a hatred so deep words cannot describe how I felt. I was stuck at a job that meant nothing to me, and spent my weekends indulging in alcohol and marijuana (my brain doesn’t react well to either of those substances). Each day I started to feel more and more “out of it”, emotionally numb, and dysphoric: I felt nothing, there was nothing to live for, and I stopped enjoying everything that used to bring me meaning and joy. I quit my job after 7 months, and I moved back home, leaving behind everything that I worked hard for: a job, friends that respected me, and a loving gf.
After moving back, I was EXTREMELY heart broken after leaving my ex: I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be the rock and support system for her anymore, I couldn’t understand why I felt so emotionally numb, and I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t any intimacy or passion in the sex or relationship anymore. I started to question my entire existence and identity, and I fell into the darkest depression a person could fall into: I literally questioned everything — I didn’t know my name, my gender, where I was born, my sexual orientation. Nothing felt real — I couldn’t tell real memories from fake memories. I had no sense of self which was slowly destroying me.
Fast forward a year - I was living at home, unemployed and miserable. I ended up taking the GRE and applied to a graduate program at an Ivy League school. Got in, did that, but I still hated my self the whole time (depression, dysphoria, anxiety) it was just that I was able to hide it and distract myself in academics.
After getting my grad degree, I moved home, and I failed to keep in contact with everyone I met in school. Again, the cycle continued: depressed, dysphoric, unemployed, anxious, living at home, and lonely. I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to a job or even find one; I just wanted to go back to school again for the third time, take out more loans, and become further in debt. I stopped caring completely, about everything.
I started to watch porn, have sex with random girls to boost my self esteem (it never did) and drink heavily, and I also got into COCAINE, which completely destroyed me: I felt worthless and lost before, oh boy did cocaine just absolutely fuck me up. My delusions and dysphoria started to worsen: my life goal was to become a cocaine dealer in Mexico (started looking at plane tickets) or a lady boy in Thailand. My entire sex drive was in ruins: I had nothing solid to hold onto, again, a very fragile self image around who I was as human being with very intense dysphoria. For example, I would have repeated videos in my brain of being raped over and over again: I genuinely believed I was a victim of childhood rape, but there is no evidence of that. I went on a cocaine and alcohol binge one night, and the only thing I remember is the next morning being driven to the emergency room: I had gotten the shit beat out of me at the bar, been handcuffed by the cops, driven home by them, and started threatening to kill myself as well as my entire family. At the emergency room, I had an insanely high blood alcohol content as well as cocaine in my system (even the day after). I talked to the social workepsychologist there, and he determined that I was suicidal and delusional, so he put me in the schizophrenic unit of the psych ward for three days, but after the first day I was moved to the major depression and anxiety unit as they believed that was a better fit.
I got out after 4 or 5 days, and I went to see a mental health professional voluntarily for the first time since I was a child: I saw a psychologist when I was young, but that was it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features, and I was prescribed Abilify and Lexapro. I had been taking both for about a year and a half; however, I went cold turkey on the Lexapro two or three weeks ago and tapered off the Abilify myself a month and a half ago: I just couldn’t stand the weight gain ( I probably gained 50 lbs) and it really didn’t make me feel at peace with myself, it was a bandaid, and I genuinely knew that from the bottom of my heart.
Moved back to the Ivy League town where I graduated from, and I was able to find a job doing consulting work (think about one of those jobs that only rich connected people get); but I quit after 8 months because I wanted to become a professional poker player. I moved to Las Vegas, got an apartment, and started playing at the casinos. Covid happened, I lost my money, and moved back home again. Again, cycle repeats itself.
I recently found a job in another state doing bullshit office work: think Dilbert or Office Space. But, I have come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to find joy in the little things. I have completely quit alcohol: it’s not even an option. I’m done with it, forever. Drugs and alcohol absolutely crush me.
I still have intense bouts of crippling depression and anxiety attacks which I’ve come to realize are fueled by my inability to understand who I am or hold onto any sort of solid self image of myself at the deepest level: this prevents me from seeking out genuine relationships with other people, whether that be friends or a significant other. I am still questioning all aspects of my self: Am I straight or gay? Am I male or female? Where am I from? What is my name? Who are my family members? Memories don’t seem real, nothing seems real anymore. It’s wearing me down, and I can’t imagine that a person could go through so much pain and still exist. It’s a miracle.
I’m seeing a new psychiatrist, and I am hopeful he will help. I’ve been stable before, relatively content and at peace with myself; I am hoping to get back to that place again. I can’t give up.
Thanks for reading.
I left some stuff out, but that’s pretty much the gist of it. Would love to hear some feedback or stories you have. Let me know if you can relate to any parts of my experience.