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EPISODE I: THE HUNCHED BACK MENACE

 
Welcome to Old BasedWorld
Hurried crowds, sparse synths and ringing cathedral bells in the streets of Old BasedWorld set the scene for our journey. High above the town in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, a young man with a hunched back dreams of a brighter tomorrow.
 
Staring Out My Window
“The only way you could really feel this pain is from the BasedGod” – From this opening line along with the somber instrumental accompanying it Lil B makes it clear that this project will be different from the hyphy material he’d been releasing since Black Ken. The BasedGod’s stirring musical backdrop allows Brandon to reminisce on the times he spent as a troubled youth staring out the windows of Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral (as pictured on the album cover), dreaming of a normal life with the rest of the citizens across the bridge in San Francisco New BasedWorld.
 
The Many Sides of a Genius
Using a compilation of voicemails taken directly from Old BasedWorld’s only working phone, Lil B uses these messages to convey his own message. The people leaving these voicemails were clearly important people in Brandon’s life and, one could say, are some of the “sides of genius” that helped him develop into the man he is today. It continues the album’s narrative of a brilliant soul whose talent and ambition are unnoticed by the outside world, with only those who are closest to him recognizing the genius within.
 
Ain’t Gon Pick Up
One of the people leaving a voicemail on “The Many Sides of a Genius” mentioned how Lil B never picks up his phone, so it’s only appropriate that the next song has B discussing why he chooses not to answer the phone in Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral. It also ties back in to the theme of unrecognized talent, with Brandon stating in the chorus “I ain’t gon pick up, nobody gives a fuck so I don’t give a fuck”. References to stomach pains and Crohn’s disease further highlight how B is feeling “sick to [his] stomach” of being disrespected: by the end of the song, the listener fully understands why Lil B wouldn’t be interested in picking up his phone.
 
Hunchback of BasedGod
One of the album’s great conceptual triumphs. Lil B states from the jump that this song is meant to be a set of instructions for the Hunchback of BasedGod for his eventual descent from his perch back into the town of Old BasedWorld and beyond. It’s still unclear whether or not Lil B himself is the Hunchback, the BasedGod, the Hunchback of BasedGod, or none of the above: the abstractness allows the listener to form their own perceptions and create their own story. Again, there’s a continuation of themes from the previous songs, with further references to stomach pains and issues of self-worth and meaninglessness coming from Lil B: with so much pain in this world, is it even worth it for the Hunchback to enter society? By the end of the song, Brandon affirms that it is, stating, “Do it and don’t just watch/ Step in the game and have fun/ We all townspeople, we one/”. As such, the Hunchback leaves the cathedral, passing through the cobblestone streets of Old BasedWorld while hushed onlookers stare silently, as he ventures out towards New BasedWorld.
 
Berkeley San Francisco Its the BasedGod
This song is delivered from the perspective of the Hunchback, as revealed in the first line of the first verse: “I got the hunched back from all the depression”. Themes of struggle from the previous tracks reemerge, but you get the sense that the Hunchback is beginning to build up his self-esteem, boasting how he refuses to conform to the looks and expectations of the other townsfolk. He also seems to have gotten past the lack of recognition that was hindering him on “The Many Sides of a Genius” and “Ain’t Gon Pick Up”, as he proudly exclaims, “Who cares if I’m famous?” This gives the Hunchback the confidence to finally travel across the bridge he so often observed from his cathedral window. The townspeople are stunned: the Golden Gate BasedWorld Bridge had been badly damaged and decayed for decades, with no one daring to cross in the fears that it would collapse. But the Hunchback’s persistence leads him to make it across unscathed.
 
Outer Mission Music
With his feet firmly set in New BasedWorld, the Hunchback visits the colony of Outer Mission, a tight-knit community of New BasedWorld inhabitants who are unsure of how to react to their visitor. Lil B spends much of this track describing his interactions with the colony’s locals, which include Justin Timberlake, Alex Rodriguez, and Lionel Messi as tribe members. He also manages to make the situation surrounding the identities of his disparate personalities even more confusing, stating, “Lil B, I’ve seen him in public/ Is that the Hunchback of BasedGod, or is that the BasedGod? It’s BasedGod/” Will we ever know the difference?
 
Wake Up Get High Go Back to Sleep
In spite of a renewed sense of confidence brought upon by his decision to leave his old life behind, not all is perfect in the Hunchback’s mind. On this joint (pun intended) he harkens back to his days in the cathedral, where he would spend his mornings smoking heavy doses of marijuana in order to numb the pain of his seclusion, often to the point of losing consciousness. It’s also worth noting that the only weed that grows naturally in Old BasedWorld is mids, so the Hunchback would need to smoke a significant amount to achieve the desired effect.
 
Video Game That I Still Play
The irony in the title of this song is that the “video game” the BasedGod is referencing here is in fact a metaphor for his own life’s journey. As he so aptly states during the chorus: “My life is like a video game/ It’s been so weird, but I still play”. The fact of the matter is, Lil B could have chosen to rage quit this game of life long ago, but his perseverance has brought him to a new place of inner peace within the confines of New BasedWorld, even if the townsfolk are still unsure of how to respond to their new neighbor.
 
I Rather Die Then Go Home
At the end of the previous song, the Hunchback makes reference to an incident where he visited the Café Au Coquelet, a boutique restaurant in New BasedWorld. Upon his arrival, he received a similar reaction to those he used to receive in his homeland: “I go to restaurants, people stop smiling”. While some of the townspeople have begun to appreciate his presence, many of the other New BasedWorld residents still recognize his outsider status and continue to shun him as a result. This song is B’s response, with a firm affirmation that he would rather die than have to go back to the life of isolation he led in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, where he wasn’t really living life to begin with. That said, the song’s mistitling of based comrade The-Dream’s original line of “I’d rather die than go home” as “I rather die then go home” leaves the Hunchback’s true intentions up for interpretation.
 
Crying in the Club
After finishing a five-course meal at the boutique, B ventures out to the party district of New BasedWorld, where he surprisingly gets admitted to one of the most exclusive night clubs in the land. As he observes the scene, the crushing reality of the differences between himself and the other clubgoers becomes apparent. A single tear is shed, followed by another, and another, until the BasedGod is in a state of full-blown emotional distress. In spite of his condition, he makes it known that he isn’t ashamed of wearing his heart on his sleeve, openly admitting in the chorus: “I don’t really care if I hurt myself, I don’t really care who sees”. This unyielding display of raw emotion brings the music and dancing to a halt. All eyes are now fixated on the strange being with the tear-stained T-shirt and the disfigured spine. He lets out a desperate plea: “I just want a hug…” To the surprise of the Hunchback, the residents of New BasedWorld collectively embrace him, looking past his outer deformities to recognize the beautiful soul that exists within. Historians would later acknowledge this moment as the primary catalyst for the BasedWorld Revolution™.
 
 

EPISODE II: THE COLD WARS

 
Voyage to Berkeley California
Meanwhile, down in the town of Old BasedWorld, the townsfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy fake based figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Why was the Hunchback not ringing the bells that had kept the evil spirits of the fake based realm out of their lives? It was then they realized that the Hunchback had crossed the sacred bridge and ventured to New BasedWorld. Frantic to reconcile with the gatekeeper they had long taken for granted, a group of the townspeople decide to bravely seek out the BasedGod in the hopes that he will return. However, they recognize that crossing the BasedWorld Bridge is something no mortal man is capable of doing and living to tell the tale. Using a secret map rumored to have been drawn up by Captain 66 himself, a group of citizens board a modest ship to cross the San Francisco BasedWorld Bay on a warm summer’s eve. Will they survive? Only time will tell.
 
Across the Sea
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we are presented with the greatest plot twist this side of the Fingerpoke of Doom: It turns out Lil B is not actually the Hunchback and/or the BasedGod after all.
 
Perhaps we should have known all along...
 
Indeed, unbeknownst to the townspeople (who themselves had just assumed all three entities were combined as one person), Lil B has remained in BasedWorld all along in disguise. About halfway into their journey across the Bay, Lil B’s resentment towards his shipmates and their longing for the Hunchback’s return gets the best of him, and the violent persona exhibited on tracks like “Murder Rate” and “Domestic Violence Case” overtakes Lil B’s natural pacifist tendencies. In a fit of rage, he attacks them, “knocking them off the boat” into the shark-infested waters and keeping all of the remaining LifeVests to himself. B himself recognizes the consequences of his actions, ending the song by saying, “This darkness… It’s scary.” Nonetheless, he refuses to be stopped in his mission to visit New BasedWorld and confront the Hunchback all on his own.
 
Where Is the Potion
Having arrived on the shores of New BasedWorld, Lil B ventures into town. Knowing that the only way to find the elusive Hunchback is through the townspeople who may have caught a glimpse of him, he travels to the aforementioned nightclub, with floors still drenched in the BasedGod’s tears from earlier, asking, “Where is the potion?” The response he’s given comes in the form of several bottles of liquor, which quickly dispel any notions of anxiety or self-doubt that may have stopped Lil B from completing his mission. A few of the club’s premium members willingly show him the spots around town where they had spotted the Hunchback, but any further clues of his whereabouts are hard to come by. Before they know it, they find themselves at one of the many riverbanks in New BasedWorld, where a celebration of the BasedGod’s glory is in full swing.
 
Riverdance
This instrumental is what Lil B and the clubgoers heard as they made their way to the bank of the river. Speaking with more of the natives, Lil B learns more of the Hunchback’s travels and experiences in New BasedWorld and begins to put the pieces together in his mind for where the BasedGod may be headed next.
 
Wolves and Snakes
As Lil B continues to plot his course, the BasedGod, who has just finished eating a salad on his way to the colony of Chaddick, senses a disturbance in the Based Force, feeling as though him and his hunched back may be in grave danger. He ponders on the wolves and the snakes that he was forced to deal with in his past life and reflects on the growth he’s experienced since leaving the dreaded, darkened halls of the Cathedral. In spite of this, he can’t help but shake the feeling that, like in the proverbial rear-view mirror, one of these wolves and/or snakes may be closer than they appear…
 
Meeting on UC Berkeley Campus Today
Undeterred, the Hunchback makes his way to UC Berkeley, New BasedWorld’s sole institution of higher learning. After giving a spirited 90 minute lecture on the power of positivity (modeled after previous lectures at such high class institutions as NYU,Carnegie Mellon and Princeton), the BasedGod is greeted by a mass of adoring students at the university. The male students beg for the BasedGod to fuck their bitches, and said bitches are more than willing to oblige. In a grand spectacle, the Hunchback has consensual sex with all 1,000 of the college’s female attendees while this instrumental blares out of speakers across the campus, being awarded with a trophy as a result of his success.
 
Artistic or Autistic
Elsewhere in New BasedWorld, Lil B attempts to strategize his next move. However, planning the escapade is made difficult thanks to B’s second most potent Internet distraction after his Twitter feed: Reddit. Going through a series of faked based comments on the hiphopheads subreddit, Lil B is particularly struck by a comment suggesting that he may in fact be suffering from the neurological disorder autism. The assertion is an eye-opening moment for him: after all, the elevated levels of lead found in Old BasedWorld’s drinking water had been a concern amongst the town’s scientists for years, and his own behaviors and thought patterns seemed to align relatively well with the common symptoms of the condition. After a brief moment of solemnity, Lil B realizes that his immaculate catalog of music has been made possible because of who he is, and if he is autistic, it is an essential component of his artistic output. This song is the result of this revelation.
 
Free 03
Our story continues as the BasedGod chooses to use his newfound fame and glory to give back to the New BasedWorld community. He begins volunteering at the New BasedWorld Penitentiary, espousing his worldview and giving advice to the inmates on how to make positive contributions to society after they have served their time. One particular inmate catches his eye: a fellow hip hop artist named 03 Greedo, who was arrested a few years earlier in a drug trafficking scheme. The Hunchback’s conversations with the young man have a profound impact on him, and in the weeks and months to come, Greedo becomes the model prisoner for other inmates to aspire to be, with intentions of joining the ministry upon his release. The BasedGod, proud of what he was able to accomplish, promises to dedicate a song on his new 50 song mixtape to Greedo.
 
Rhode Island
Rhode Island, officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, is a state in the New England region of the northeastern United States. It is the smallest U.S. state by area, the seventh least populous, but is also the second most densely populated. Rhode Island is bordered by Connecticut to the west, Massachusetts to the north and east, and the Atlantic Ocean to the south via Rhode Island Sound and Block Island Sound. It also shares a small maritime border with New York. Providence is the state capital and most populous city in Rhode Island.
 
As Rhode Island is located on the opposite side of the continent from Old and New BasedWorld, it has nothing to do with this story other than this brief mention of its existence.
 
I’m Depressed Again
While the Hunchback is continuing to make great strides in improving the lives of the people in New BasedWorld, he continues to be fazed by an ever-growing sense of something troubling being on the horizon. A dark evil is emerging that he cannot foresee, and he worries that by the time he learns what this evil may be, it will be too late. This sends the BasedGod back into a spiraling depression, one not felt since the last day he had spent alone in the cathedral. He warns his closest confidants of the impending doom, saying, “Real talk… Feel it through your heart. Feel it through the spirit. You can feel it through the dark, cold as ever.”
 
Café Au Coquelet
At the same time as the Hunchback is experiencing this sense of dread, Lil B has made his way to Café Au Coquelet, one of the first spots in New BasedWorld that was graced by the power and the glory of the BasedGod. Lil B immediately detects the Hunchback’s prior presence in the vicinity: all of the restaurant’s guests are acting unusually positive and based towards one another, and the only dish that anyone has ordered over the past week has been the clams casino. Lil B also recognizes that the music playing in the background of the restaurant (the instrumental that is this song) was created by the BasedGod. Enraged, he stands up on the restaurant tables and begins to lambast the townsfolk for having fallen for the lies and deceit of a false prophet. He dictates a new philosophy, beginning by disposing of the food everybody has already ordered and teaching them how to cook for themselves. Before long, the entire restaurant is cooking to “Like a Martian”. A growing sect of New BasedWorld begins to emerge in objection to the Hunchback’s teachings, with Lil B and the swag movement as their new leader.
 
Downtown Berkeley Protest
Back in the colony of Berkeley, the BasedGod is gathering his followers together for a celebration of optimism and goodwill unto others. His new instrumental track plays as the Hunchback’s followers enjoy the festivities. It is at this moment that the BasedGod feels a searing pain encompass his entire being, and he recognizes that this is the moment he has been fearing for the past few weeks: the evil has arrived. A mass of residents from the other New BasedWorld colonies have descended upon the party with torches and handguns. Dressed in pink shirts, tiny pants and Vans sneakers, they march to the center of the crowd in unison, yelling nonsensical phrases such as “Figaro!” and “Martha Stewart!” as the frightened followers of the Hunchback look on. At the front of the mob is the leader, the enigmatic Lil B. He flashes a slight smile at the BasedGod, who stares directly back into the eyes of his former student. As the crowd of pretty residents begin to hurl insults and grievances towards the based residents, Lil B raises one hand, and the noise stops. Then, he begins to walk away. B’s worshipers follow him out of the city square in silent unison. Many of the Hunchback’s flock wonder if this is the end of the madness. However, the BasedGod knows deep down inside that this is just the beginning.
 
 

EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE BITCH

 
Bring the BasedGod and Lil B Gifts
This is a Cold War, and we know what each side is fighting for. The New BasedWorld citizens have been divided into an even split, with half of the townsfolk (now calling themselves the “Task Force”) following the ways of the Hunchback and the other half (now calling themselves the “Bitch Mob”) committing themselves to the teachings of Lil B. In a frantic attempt to prove the superiority of one leader over the other, the townspeople begin to bestow luxurious gifts and rewards upon their idols in an attempt to make one appear more grandiose than the other. Lil B relishes in his newfound fame, gladly accepting a plethora of PlayStation 2 and Xbox 360 games from his fans, along with a fully registered copy of FL Studio to allow him to produce beats on the same level as the BasedGod. Meanwhile, on the other side of the village, the Hunchback seems uncomfortable embracing his new role as a worshipped deity. Having become accustomed to people ignoring him or being flat-out disgusted by his appearance, the adjustment to now becoming the leader of thousands of men is one that is not made easily.
 
Body Shaming
The opposing sides of New BasedWorld’s population quickly transition from honoring their respective leaders to creating smear campaigns against the opposition. One of the Bitch Mob’s most talented computer hackers manages to secure nude photographs of the Hunchback and distribute them online, highlighting the embarrassing weight gain that the BasedGod has endured over the past 5 years. The Hunchback is at first distraught upon hearing the news: “Why are they body shaming me? Why would they say all these mean things?” It is only when the BasedGod taps into his creamy center, where all the gooey happy-lovin' goo sits that allows him to be the nicest, most compassionate person he’s ever been, that he’s able to let the world know that he will not fall down so easy. He releases this song on his MySpace as a rebuttal, saying, “There's no reason to bully people and make fun of folks”. The Task Force immediately lauds the song as the perfect response to the scandal, while the Bitch Mob lashes out at the lack of trap drums and celebrity-based adlibs.
 
Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap
“So self-conscious, you feel me?”: Despite the approval of his comrades, the BasedGod is unable to shake the ever-persistent sense of self-hatred that is being exacerbated by the actions of the Bitch Mob. He feels his mind regressing to a prior state of fear and insecurity akin to that of his days spent in isolation in the Cathedral. Deep inside, the Hunchback finds himself in the midst of an existential crisis: how can one speak on the benefits of positivity and self-love when one does not truly love thyself? What would the consequences be of allowing this negativity to manifest itself in real time? Surely, an admission of hopelessness would spell defeat for the Task Force, allowing Lil B and his army of pretty townsfolk to rule the land for all eternity. But it would also be hypocritical for the BasedGod to continue to preach the Gospel of Based when his mind is not in a based state of being. In a move that would prove to be one of the most shocking of the Cold War, the Hunchback gathers his followers in the town square to announce that he will be taking an oath of silence until peace can be found between the two factions of New BasedWorld, capping off his decree with the debut of his ‘final’ song, “Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap”. The crowd gasps and devolves into hysteria, with thousands pleading for the Hunchback to reconsider, rightly worried over what would become of the based movement without the voice of its sole originator. But the BasedGod is persistent. He silently walks through the crowd, hugging each of his based brethren (and consensually face-fucking some of the females) before departing, possibly for good. Some time after midnight, he successfully crosses the Based Bridge and returns to Old BasedWorld, making his way back to the Cathedral without a single soul noticing his presence. He travels to the deepest, darkest depths of the Cathedral’s caverns, located miles beneath the Earth’s surface, where he begins an indefinite period of contemplation and meditation. This sequence of events would prove to be a milestone of the BasedWorld Revolution™, and would be forever immortalized in the cover art for the Where Did the Sun Go? mixtape.
 
Intermission
It was a bad time for both Old and New BasedWorld. The Hunchback just stayed inside his Cathedral and he never came out. People said his brain was infected by fake based devils. The Task Force hurt the most of all: without their leader, they crumbled and succumbed to the will of the Bitch Mob. Lil B’s tyrannical rise to power was all but complete. In the months that followed, he would expand his territorial control, conquering the villages of Albany and East Oakland and even sending troops to claim regions of land as far away as Hawaii and Nepal.
 
Nearly a full year after the disappearance of the BasedGod, Lil B’s armies waged war on Old BasedWorld. The BasedWorld Bridge was destroyed, leaving Lil B and his followers (who controlled the naval fleets) as the only ones who had access to both sides of the territory. After taking most of its citizens hostage and establishing a new structure of government with Lil B at the helm, the Bitch Mob began to formulate its Ultimate Bitch Plan to capture the Hunchback. One night, they rushed the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, setting it ablaze and burning the once-iconic structure to the ground in the hopes of finding the charred body of the BasedGod buried underneath the rubble. When they failed to retrieve the body, the contingent of pretty boys and girls was ordered by Lil B to venture underground, as an ancient prophecy had foretold the Hunchback’s journey to the center of the Earth. Armed with assault rifles of all varieties, they began their descent into the depths of the caverns.
 
However, the deeper they traveled, the more they became disillusioned by their actions, and the actions of their once-beloved leader Lil B. They did not realize that the closer they got to the Hunchback, the more they were swayed by his righteousness and his way of being. Soon, they were no more than a few hundred yards from locating the BasedGod. It was at this moment that they had a great awakening, recognizing the error of their ways and freeing themselves from the spell that had been placed on them by Lil B. They abandoned their mission, instead choosing to return to the surface without the Hunchback. Lil B, furious at the group’s reluctance to complete their task, began to chastise his former followers, and prepared to issue one of his infamous curses upon them, one which would result in certain death. Having become completely overwhelmed with the guilt and the shame of their exploits as part of Lil B’s army (and also acknowledging the fact that none of them would ever win an NBA championship now without signing to Golden State), they instead turned the guns Lil B had given to them on themselves, committing mass suicide on top of the remains of the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Thousands of Old BasedWorld onlookers stared in paralyzing shock as the sound of hundreds of guns discharged at once. What followed was several hours of silence, as Lil B, covered in the blood of his former troops, coldly stared at the mass of dead bodies, trying his best to process what had just taken place.
 
 

EPISODE IV: A NEW HO(PE)

 
The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night
Meanwhile, on the other side of the Bay, most of the former Task Force members still remaining in New BasedWorld have all but accepted their fates, purchasing clothing that is too tight for them to wear comfortably and listening to the government-approved “Cooking Music” playlist on a constant loop. A small contingent of Hunchback loyalists remain, holding private meetings in the basement of the Café Au Coquelet and listening to the “Based Music” playlist in shrouded secrecy. Upon learning that Lil B and a commission of his troops had left to invade Old BasedWorld, the few remaining Task Force members felt it was safe enough to worship the Hunchback out in the open one last time. As most of the Bitch Mob members who had crossed the BasedWorld Bay with Lil B had come from the village of West Berkeley, the BasedGod’s loyal comrades choose the village’s Waterfront area as the gathering place for the ceremony. Unbeknownst to any of the group’s members, the mass suicides in Old BasedWorld were taking place at the exact same time as the celebration in New BasedWorld was commencing. The Task Force members rejoice, harmoniously singing the BasedGod’s favorite songs of worship: “B.O.R. (Birth of Rap)”, “The Age of Information” and “No Black Person Is Ugly” are belted out towards the heavens. Suddenly, the youngest of the Task Force’s members (who goes by the name of u/insabnma) feels a twinge underneath his bare feet. He looks down at the ground and notices that he has stepped on a golden USB drive, encrusted with diamonds and embroidered with the word “BASED” in all caps. The curious group of based boys and girls procure a laptop and, upon plugging the drive in, are amazed to find a .zip folder of 13 unreleased instrumentals credited as being produced by the BasedGod. Even more amazingly, the first song is entitled “The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night”: the exact place and time of day that they are performing their ritual. The Task Force members ecstatically listen to the new music, with several being driven to the point of involuntary orgasm. Throughout the night, word spreads throughout New BasedWorld of the drive’s existence, and suddenly, the followers of the Hunchback have a renewed sense of hope.
 
Games of Berkeley and Magic Cards
The next evening, thousands of Task Force members, old and new, join together in the town square of Berkeley, the last place that the Hunchback was seen alive. A Task Force party has commenced, with various games being played and the Based Music playlist blasting from the colony’s speakers. As it is nearing midnight, the townspeople are each given a magic life card, rumored to be the same life cards that were discussed in the BasedGod’s legendary philosophical diatribe [“Life on Earth”](). At the stroke of 12, the second of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played, as the crowd enthusiastically chants “Thank You BasedGod” along to the beat. The expectation is that the Hunchback will hear their prayer and reemerge by the end of the song. However, this was not to be the case: the instrumental ends, with the BasedGod nowhere to be found. For a moment, the Task Force is disheartened, wondering if the signs pointing to a return of the Hunchback were too good to be true. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a shooting star flies across the Berkeley sky, the brightest and most brilliant star that anyone in the colony has ever seen. It continues to arc across the northwestern skyline and appears to land in the village of Albany, a formerly based territory which has been overrun with members of the Bitch Mob. The Task Force is again filled with a renewed sense of hope at this discovery, as they courageously follow the signs that could lead them to the Hunchback’s holy ascension.
 
Walking Through Albany California
Upon arriving in Albany, the Task Force members notice a contingent of Bitch Mob members huddled around a large crater, approximately one mile in diameter. Evidently, this is where the shooting star had landed. One of the senior members of the tribe is examining the star, which, contrary to its once large and brilliant appearance, has been reduced to the size of a small rock. Several Bitch Mob members now make their way into the crater to examine the fallen star. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the once-dead star explodes into thousands of pieces, each piece shooting out towards the heads of a Bitch Mob member (though some less fortunate members wind up getting hit in the balls). When the star touches each member, it instantly uploads the third of the BasedGod’s secret instrumentals directly into their cerebral cortex. The Bitch Mob members are at first displeased at the lack of poorly mixed 808s and rattling hi-hats, but soon after, they begin to comprehend and enjoy the BasedGod’s alternative production style. Once the song has finished, they have all been converted into full-fledged comrades of the Task Force. The Berkeley delegation of Task Force welcomes their new brothers and sisters into the fold, and the group marches on to spread the word of the Hunchback’s return to the other villages.
 
The Sound of Being Bullied
While this is all occurring in the BasedWorld territories, something else entirely is beginning to unfold in the far away kingdom of Detroit, Michigan. Teejay Witherspoon, the Bitch Mob’s certified rarest hacker, leans back in his chair and slyly grins. His successful exploitation of the BasedGod a year ago has proven to be a major turning point in the young man’s life. His notoriety has allowed him to start a rap career of his own, with several music videos on YouTube having gone viral throughout the past 12 months. His loyalty to the Bitch Mob has been unquestioned, and he has since been promoted to a senior position within the fold. As he clicks his way through a darkweb laundering scheme one evening, he leaves to take a shit and, upon returning to his computer, notices that a mysterious golden USB drive has been plugged into the laptop. Only one file exists on the drive: an audio file entitled “The Sound of Being Bullied.flac”. Teejay curiously loads the file into VLC, and the instant the song begins, he is assaulted with a rush of crushing despair and depression. The title of the song spoke for itself. Teejay is experiencing the totality of the Hunchback’s negative emotions that had been fueled by his prior actions, but even more intensely, and as the emotions begin to amplify, he next notices that his physical being is being affected as well. His body is shaking uncontrollably, his skin is beginning to peel, his eyes are popping out of his skull. After four minutes and seven seconds of agonizing torture, his entire being bursts into flames, unable to handle the power of the BasedGod’s wrath. The song ends.
 
No Longer Afraid of the Dark
It’s dark. The air is still. The ground is hot. Water drips from the ceiling. The Hunchback, in a deep state of reflection, hasn’t moved a muscle for over 12 months. His shriveled body has been starved of nourishment and exercise, but fortunately, his weight gain has had the positive effect of having enough fat stored to keep him alive. The amount of based energy needed to have maintained this state of being has aged the BasedGod considerably. He has been devoid of almost any sense of perception for at least a few months. A faint glow radiates from his being. He has concentrated his powers to what was thought to be an unattainable degree of positivity. Before his extended withdrawal from society, the negative side of the force was something that the Hunchback struggled to put out of mind. At the level of based he now encompasses, the light of positivity is too grand for the BasedGod to fail. He is no longer afraid of the dark. And that’s because the dark no longer exists. The cavern has been filled with his based radiance. And the Hunchback is almost ready to return and spread this radiance throughout the land.
 
Nepal Wants the BasedGod
All across BasedWorld, shooting star sightings have been abound, and thousands upon thousands of Bitch Mob members have been converted to Task Force faithful. Even beyond the traditional confines of BasedWorld, rare star sightings have also been seen in the Bitch Mob’s disparate properties. A star lands in the Bitch Mob’s Nepalian expansion territory. After having its people cleansed with the power of the BasedGod’s sixth secret instrumental track, Nepal adopts a new constitution which entails all of its citizens to embrace the Hunchback’s teachings of optimism and self-love.
 
Taxi Around Town
The streets of Old BasedWorld have been in dire need of repair ever since the Bitch Mob ransacked the colony, but that doesn’t stop Travis, one of the land’s only remaining horse-drawn taxi drivers, from making a buck. One evening, he picks up a mysterious hooded figure in one of the town’s more dangerous districts. The man enters the carriage, greeting the driver with two words: “Hello, Travis.” The driver says nothing. The horses begin their trek through the streets, passing by a row of burning buildings. Travis breaks his silence. “It’s lit,” he says. “The buildings, that is. There’s only a few Bitch Mob members left at this point but they always blow these things up.” The figure feels more comfortable speaking to the driver: “I hear you got the nomination”. It dawns on Travis that this person must be almost exactly one year behind the times: has he ever even heard of Cardi B? Regardless, he plays along. “Straight up. Won’t be long now.” The figure smiles, quipping, “Well, I hope you win.” He then proceeds to remove his hood. Travis looks back and momentarily gasps. His composure returns soon thereafter. Unsure of how to proceed, he attempts to continue the conversation. “I… I read about you in the papers… How are you?” Knowing he’s referring to the suicides, the figure replies, “Oh, it’s nothing new, I got over that.” They sit in silence for the remainder of the ride. Soon, the horses come upon their destination, the edge of the BasedWorld Bay. The figure gets out of the car. Turning to Travis, he asks, “How much was it?” Travis is nearly speechless. He lets out one final Auto-Tuned “So long………..LA FLAME!” and the horses gallop off.
 
Berkeley California Before Lil B
A massive cleaning project has commenced throughout Berkeley. The townspeople have nearly all been converted to followers of the BasedGod by this point, and in a unanimous vote, the colony’s leaders choose to rid Berkeley of any and all trace of Lil B and his formerly effective propaganda. Murals are whitewashed, statues are torn down, and portraits are removed from public spaces as the eighth of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played on a loop. The many books proclaiming Lil B’s omnipotence are collectively burned to ash in the town square. Even saying the name “Lil B” is punishable by fine of up to $30,000, equivalent to the amount of money Lil B had charged for features (in contrast to the Hunchback’s extremely generous $0.01 minimum fee for a verse). The townspeople are once again a tight-knit unit of based human beings living their best lives. It was just like Berkeley California before Lil B.

The year was 2268. Humanity had stretched throughout the reaches of our own solar system and beyond. We were now a united species, one nation exploring the cosmos under a single name: “human race”. The Earth still remains, as well as many other planets in our solar system, the only difference is that back then... they were inhabited. Planet and space travel was simply like a bus route with destinations throughout the stars.
1
A man awoke in his star cruiser with a startled jolt upright, followed by his own hyperventilating. A voice spoke from the shadows, “Did ya have another one pal?” “Shut Up, Stripes” the man responds. The voice chided him, “Listen Kid, that day was fuckin’ ages ago. Let Go”. The man before you’s real name is unknown. However, he is better known as “The Northern Cowboy” throughout Earth and neighbouring planets. Now you see, The Cowboy was a hero to the people of Earth. That voice in the back, the man known as Stripes was a hero as well, or he was until he lost his entire physical body in the biggest battle in human history.
The society in this time may been advanced one, but it still has its conflicts. Now, one of these conflicts made these men heroes, The Battle for Humanity was the largest battle in human history. The entire species divided, two massive armies lead by two political groups went head to head. The Planetarian group; a party that believes the population should merge and become one nationality to be recognized as human. Then, there's the Individuals, people wanting the borders to remain on our planet and to preserve cultures. The decision for the dominant party wasn’t one to be made in a courtroom, no one could decide on a party to put in charge. The dominant half needed to rise. Was it time for drastic change? Or was it time to preserve? That is what this fight would’ve decided.
The two armies clashed all over the solar system and fought for 12 whole years in continuous battle. Now this fight never ended, it was stopped. Stopped by exactly 390 heroes, two men or women from each country on Earth stood tall and decided to rally and stop this war. This was seen as an impossible feat for any normal human, but these people weren’t normal, they were extraordinary. They possessed abilities and powers only a fraction of the human race had. Some people were born with their abilities, like it was the next step of human evolution, others acquired them through science or an altering incident of some sort; these people were like folklore of their home countries, mere myths. However, the myths soon became reality when these people aligned with one another. Using their abilities, they arrived in the middle of the front lines of every battle between both armies and held them off. Eventually, these armies stopped their clash and listened to what these heroes had to say. These incredible men and women were seen as gods among mortals, and the leaders of both sides decided that if these people found a way to stop the fight and bring the society together, it would be worth listening to and trying. Soon after the war ended, a united party was formed and governed all of humanity. The Planet Earth Society was formed; a society that kept our individualities present on Earth, but we explored the cosmos and functioned our government as one species.
Now, back to our two heroes. The Northern Cowboy was a hero out of Canada, and Stripes was his partner out of the states. These men had some extremely powerful abilities; Stripes, a once massively built man, had the power to control electronics and machines with his mind, and The Cowboy, a tall man who stood at about 6’1 with two different coloured eyes, one black and one blue, had the ability to generate and manipulate lightning out of his body. All heroes were as strong as this, if not more. So obviously, it was no wonder they were able to stop the imminent war. However, the victory didn't come without its share of sacrifices. Stripes was gunned down between the two armies. A seasoned war vet like himself couldn’t avoid his own demise at the age of 42. But as a last act of desperation, he transferred his consciousness into the computer in the Star Horse, their ship; Immortalizing himself into his own starcruiser. Now, The Cowboy had his own tragedies as well, involving the death of the other Canadian hero... but we’ll get to that later.
“Where are we Stripes?” the Cowboy asked groggily, “About 300 miles away from the Red Dust Casino, in the Mars Orbit.” Every planet with a ground to stand on had been terraformed so that it was habitable for humans, and Mars was like the Las Vegas of the solar system, a planet for the rich and famous. “Are we making a pitstop, kid?” Stripes asked. The Man nodded, “Yeah but this ain’t for pleasure, we’ve got business to attend to at the Red Dust Grand Hotel”. Stripes replied, “Alright Cowboy I’ll bring us down for a landing-” The Cowboy interrupted, “Hold it, stop over top of the Crimson Canyon, I’ve got something to do first. Open the hanger for me would ya?” After a morning cigarette and a shot of whisky for breakfast, The Northern Cowboy boarded his one man fighter; a black, modified advanced secret service ship with a hand-painted white stripe down the middle. On the side of the fighter was a name painted in red, it read “Le Pew”. The Cowboy fired up his engines and shot out of the ship, and right into the depths of the canyon.
The canyon The Cowboy had just ventured into was a place named Futurado Gorge. This canyon had a reputation all around the star system of being a dangerous death trap that only fools would venture into. So knowing this, Stripes questioned his partner's motives and speaks over the comm, “Hey Kid what the hell are ya doin’ divin’ into a place like this?” He responds, “Don't worry about it Stripes I know what I'm doing”, “alright whatever kid”. The Cowboy had discovered a while back that the water in this cave had unusual properties to it; the water allowed the person who touched it to see parts of their future, so being the clever guy that he is, he uses it to his advantages sometimes. When the Cowboy reached the bottom of the gorge, he got out of his ship and knelt down and touched the water…
The Cowboy’s eyes lit up for a moment and then he saw his entire life flash before his eyes, and then the vision showed itself to him, he sat back, shook his hands dry, and lit a cigarette. After a few minutes of pondering, he stood up and shrugged. He spoke to himself, “So that's how I go, huh? It's a bit sooner than I would’ve thought. Oh well, guess it can’t be helped” He threw his cigarette into the water and got back into his ship.
2
On the top floor of the Red Dust Casino, there’s a meeting between two men. One man is a criminal who runs the Casino and uses it for a drug and money laundering scheme to supply dealers throughout the solar system. His name is Isaac Pantangellini, an average height man but powerfully built nonetheless, he had tanned skin with jet black hair slicked back into a mullet. The other man was a short and unhealthily thin young man called Mouse, with matted brown hair and sharp facial features; he is a bright young man in the drug business; but it seems he’s bit off more than he can chew with his most recent scam.
Pantangellini started his rant towards Mouse by puffing his own ego a bit. He speaks aggressively, “Look dipshit, you don’t know who you fucked with. I own this casino and the resort, I’m not the manager or the bouncer, I'm the OWNER. I'm also a man who doesn’t put up with nobody’s shit, I have half of all the Mars cops on my payroll and the other half knows they can’t screw with me, I OWN this town. So tell me this kid, WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN WHEN YOU TRIED TO SCAM ME?!” Mouse responds with a cool ignorance towards the riled up mob boss, “To be honest, what I thought would happen is that I’d grab one of the cases of money you launder through this joint to cover your drug business, and then I’d escape and you’d never see me again. But ya know what? You can go eat Venus Baboon shit, you fogey, I don’t care if ya caught me” Pantangellini was fuming mad from his disrespectful demeanor. He stood up from his desk, pulled a gun out of the holster concealed by his blazer, held it over Mouse’s head and brought the base of the gun onto the bridge of the kid’s nose so hard the cartilage in his face was smashed into oblivion and his cheekbones were shattered. Mouse crumpled to the floor after falling out of his chair. The casino boss pointed to his two henchmen at the door, “Hey you two, take this asswipe out back and put as many bullets as you want into the back of his head.” He then pointed to the blood on his marble floor and said, “Oh and get someone to clean this mess up.”
At that very moment, The Cowboy touched down into the casino’s ship lot and parked his vessel there and put on his red trench coat, “Are ya gonna pay for the valet service kid?” asked Stripes, “Fuck no, I’m not made of money pal” The Cowboy responded. “What happened to givin’ back to the community?” asked Stripes. His partner talks back through the comm, “We gave up that hero of the people stuff remember? We do this to get paid now” “Just givin’ ya hell kid, lighten up a bit would ya?” The Cowboy sighed and walked towards the back door of the casino; just as he approached the door, it was slammed open and out rushed two burly men in suits dragging a badly beaten, sickly looking young man who was unhealthily thin. The men passed the Cowboy. The ex-hero took a few more steps before stopping, cursing himself as he turned around to walk towards the men. The men had the beaten man on his knees with a gun to the back of his head. The Cowboy approached the men and obnoxiously asked, “Hey do any of you boys got a light?” One of the men turned on the stranger who had just approached him and pulled a gun on him, “Woah easy partner, I just need a light.” The Cowboy said passively. The man responds, “Piss off punk, or you're next”. The Cowboy continued to walk towards the thug, unfazed by the gun pointed in his direction. The thug fired. In a flash of blue light, the bullet seemed to miss its mark and then the thug was on the ground writhing in pain.
The Cowboy stood over the thug, stepped over his crumpled body and approached the second man. The second thug turned around and pulled his gun on the Cowboy. In a seemingly effortless motion the Cowboy had smashed the man's leg with a side kick and landed a knee to the man’s chest. The thug staggered for a minute and stood up again, firing away at the ex-hero. The Cowboy leapt out of the way of the bullets and snapped his fingers at the man and simply said “Bang”. Lightning shot out of the Cowboy’s hand and sent the thug flying a good 100 yards away. The Cowboy turned and walked away, lighting a cigarette. He looked over his shoulder and said to the beaten man, “Get to a hospital yourself, I’m not your fuckin’ babysitter”
3
The Cowboy sat at the casino bar and took a look around the place, a lively venue with a gold color pallette on seemingly every surface. The place was filled with people all dressed up in tuxedos and fancy silk dresses surrounding gambling tables and blackjack pits. The barmaid took a look at the Cowboy and was intrigued, he didn’t look the part of a gambler, he wore a casual, but wrinkled, black suit with a white shirt and black tie, and a faded red trench coat overtop. She walked over to him at the end of the bar and started talking “Howdy stranger, what corner of the stars did you wander in from?” He calmly replies, “Oh a place a lot worse than this one, can you get me an Old Fashioned?” She made him the drink and placed it in front of him, he knocked it back in a couple long gulps and then asked, “Do you know how to get to the top floor? I’ve got to have a chat with the man who runs this joint” She was less interested in the man now, “Oh he’s just another drug dealer here to see the guy upstairs” she thought. She then asked him “Here to close a deal?” “No sweetheart I'm here for him” he replied as he pointed upwards. She then asked,”A hitman?” The Cowboy replied, “Not quite, thanks for the drink” and got up and left without paying. He only left a bullet, sliced in half and scorched, on his napkin.
The first floor service elevator doors were always locked in the casino, it was the way to get up to the top floor office where Pantangellini hid out. The Cowboy walked up to the doors and pried them open and opened the top hatch in the elevator. He then used his lightning to charge the cable and the elevator shot upwards, he stopped it when it got to the top, he composed himself for a moment and blasted the doors open. The men in the office were startled by the massive explosion coming from the elevator and the doors shattering, which followed the initial bang. Out stepped the Cowboy, through a cloud of dust coming from the door. “Hey your elevator kinda sucks, the doors wouldn’t open” he said cooly. All the men in the room, including Pantangellini pulled their guns and fired into the dust and at the man that stood before them. The Cowboy walked backwards into the dust in the midst of the gunfire. After a minute or two of continuous fire, Pantangellini was shoved from behind. Everyone turned around shocked, to see the Cowboy behind the men, he had moved so fast no one had seen him get behind them. The Cowboy took Pantangellini’s gun from his hands with a quick jerk, and fired into all the men’s shoulders and knees; except for the mob boss who was now shaking in fear.
The Ex-hero kneeled down and was face to face with the criminal. He spoke, “You’re worth a fat $300 000 bounty Pantangellini. It seems like the all cops weren’t under your control, and that bounty’s all mine” Pantangellini was somewhat relieved he wasn’t going to be killed. He had to be brought in alive. “Stripes call the cops to the top floor, I’m not bringing him to ‘em” he said over his comm. “Alright Cowboy” his partner responds. The mob boss on the floor, who had now soiled himself, spoke with some confidence now that he knew he wasn’t going to be shot. He looked up at the man who had just brought him down and spoke, “You’re a filthy fuckin’ bounty hunter, you won’t last a week! You hear! YOU’RE DEAD! WHO ARE YOU?!” As if it was scripted, the Cowboy lights a cigarette and says in his trademark nonchalant tone, “Who me? Well, I’m just an old fashioned cowboy”.
4
On the other side of the asteroid belt orbiting Titan, one of Saturn’s moons, there was a large cruiser. The cruiser was owned by the Syndicate Of The Blue Moon, the largest crime organization in the solar system. The Syndicate was the unofficial ruler of the criminal underworld, they had immense power and resources; that of which rivaled the government. These people were no joke and certainly nothing to be taken lightly, their leader was a cruel and powerful man with incredible abilities. His name, The Midnight Gladiator. He could control and generate fire, giving him the ability to conjure immense blazes and destroy anything in his path. The Gladiator stood at a solid six feet tall, he wore a black suit and pants, with a scarred face and a head of white hair, despite him actually being quite young. He was a truly frightening man, who showed no mercy to anyone.
The Gladiator sat on a throne in the main chamber of his vessel with a man whimpering on the floor before him. The man begged for his life, “No please, I am so, so utterly sorry. You will have my undying loyalty if you let this go, please stop. Spare me! S-spare me, let me live!” The man stammered on, sniveling on the floor as he begged. The Gladiator grew impatient, “SHUT UP!” he roared. He approached the man and grabbed his face by his chin and spoke directly to the man, “I don’t accept failure, that package needed to get there. You have failed, you are worthless to me now. I have no use for you.” The Gladiator covered the man’s face with his hand, which grew hotter and hotter as his grip tightened. Soon a blaze erupted out of his hand and the man’s head was incinerated into ashes, the screaming died out as his headless body fell to the floor. Two men in suits rushed over and started to drag the body away. There was a knock at the door to the main chamber and a man with glasses who had a rather weak demeanor, donning a bland brown suit, walked in.
“What is it Genco?” The Gladiator asked. “It's Pantangellini” he said, nervously adding “He got life inside, a bounty hunter got ‘em’” The man of flame was concerned, “Well shit, there goes our best money launderer, we’ve gotta get a new casino” he continued “Genco, who was the bounty hunter that nailed him?” In a weak tone, Genco spoke to his boss, “We didn’t get a name, all Pantangellini said was that the man just told him he was a cowboy.” The Gladiator’s attention spiked, “What did you just say?!” He demanded. A bit frightened now, Genco spoke again “Um… He’s a cowboy sir, that’s all we know, is that alright? Did I do something wrong?” Genco was shaking now, and his stutter started acting up after seeing the burned up body laying on the floor. In a few words, he was fearful for his own life.
“Leave me, and deal with that corpse, you have two minutes.” “Y-yes sir!” Genco ran off dragging the body with the men, all while dry-heaving from the smell of burnt flesh. The Gladiator turned and looked out his window and contemplated what he had just discovered. “The bastard’s still alive! How?! There was no way he could’ve made it out all those years ago.” His mind was racing, The Northern Cowboy was still alive!
5
When the Cowboy arrived back on the ship he transferred Stripes his 10% cut of the job. Now you see, Stripes had no need for money; he wasn’t an actual person anymore. He was essentially an A.I. program at this point; the man was immortal now, his consciousness would live on forever. He was just in it for something to do, so a big cut wasn’t really needed for him. Stripes was a curious man and something had been on his mind for a while now, “Hey partner, what did ya see down in that cave the other day?” The Cowboy looked up from the gun he stole on Mars, which he was cleaning, and said simply, “I saw myself die. I died on my knees, burned and beaten. Right on Mercury Bridge, overlooking the sun.” Stripes was surprised, “No shit huh, were you old or what?” “Nope, in fact I looked the same as I am now” Stripes was worried for his partner, he knew the Cowboy would never run from death; he had no fear of it. His fearlessness wasn’t made of bravery, it was something darker.
The man you know as “The Cowboy” is a very peculiar man. He has no fear of anything, he has no cares in the world, he just lives. Day in and day out he is just living for the sake of living. He had a brush with death. He made a grave mistake one day, and ended up looking death in the face and it stole something from him, the ability to care had been stolen from the man. In his eyes, he lived by one belief; “Easy Come, Easy Go”. He is a man who is attached to nothing, he saw no point in getting attached to something if he was just going to die at the end and lose it all, just like it did that fateful day, the day that still haunts him when he sleeps; The day that will never leave him. He welcomes death, he just waits for it to come around the corner and claim him. He’s lost his ability to care, for it was snatched from him by death itself; and every night, he relives the encounter. A man sentenced to psychological torture daily, for as long as he lives, sort of a parting gift from death.
Stripes’ concern grew, he knew for a fact that the Cowboy wouldn’t avoid his own demise; he knew that the Cowboy would face it without a second thought. Stripes didn’t want to lose his brother in arms, “Hey kid, you might wanna avoid Mercury Bridge then eh?” The Cowboy holsters the pistol he stole from the Mob Boss on Mars and spoke, “Meh, I don’t really care, we’ll see what happens I guess”. Stripes, a once strong man, also had no purpose now. He was simply a spirit destined to float through the cosmos for eternity; for his consciousness was immortal, he would always be alive. Now, the thing he valued most, were his comrades. The Cowboy was like a kid brother to him, the only thing tethering him to reality was his only friend.
6
On the other side of the solar system approaching the asteroid belt, was a fleet the size 200 or so starships. The Syndicate Of The Blue Moon was heading straight for Mars. The Gladiator was looking for someone to answer for his missing money launderer and he was bringing his entire fleet. Pantangellini was a huge part of the money the Gladiator had, he made it clean to use by running it through his casino. It was virtually untraceable by the government; and now it was gone. Taken by some bounty hunter looking for a paycheck.
Now the important thing to remember is that this time period is just as lawless as it is advanced. The solar system may have had government and society, but the underworld of crime was just as large. The two worlds only meet when it comes to one thing, Bounties. The government sometimes wants a certain person and doesn’t want to waste police manpower; with a whole solar system to cover, they need all the help they can get. So the government enlists the help of people looking to make a quick buck. There are two types of bounties, an open contract: where anyone can go and get the target; or a private contract: where a specific person/group gets a contract exclusive to them. The Pantangellini contract was a private one; since Stripes was well known from his days as a hero and from his incredible skill, he gets clearance for high profile/dangerous people the cops want. Therefore, him getting a contract for someone like the casino owning/money launderer wasn’t out of the ordinary; but the fact that he got the Gladiator’s money launderer was some insane coincidence and bad luck for the crime boss.
One thing to mention was that the Gladiator was absolutely livid. He despised bounty hunters in general and the fact that one had gotten one of his most useful assets drove him crazy; on top of that, the man who stole it from him was the person he hated most. The hate was spawned for a reason only known between the two men, and the Gladiator had thought he’d gotten his revenge on the Cowboy and finished him off years ago. However, as both you and I know, the Cowboy is very much alive.
“GENCO!” The man turned a pale shade of grey, “Y-y-yes sir?” Genco stammered in response to the Gladiator. “Find a ship called the Star Horse! I WANT IT FOUND! Spend as much as you need, just get me that ship!” The Gladiator finished his yelling fit towards his assistant and sat down on his throne with a look of death on his face; for he was out for blood and he was going to get it.
7
“Well shit, ain’t that a sight huh Stripes?” The Cowboy asked. “Ha, it sure has been a while. What’s it been, five years?” His partner responded. The Star Horse was orbiting the once blue and green planet of Earth. The War had destroyed pretty much all wildlife on the planet, all the forests had cities and skyscrapers built out of the ashes of a once prospering planet. So naturally, the planet had been turned into a blue and grey coloured rock orbiting the sun. Even if it wasn’t the prettiest sight ever, it was their home.
The Cowboy perked up and spoke, “Woah, hey easy Stripes, you haven’t gotten clearance to land yet” Stripes was distracted and seemed distant, even for a non-physical being. “Ah shit my bad, calling in now.” Stripes sent out his ID and got a spot on a landing strip near the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. Stripes was having himself some bittersweet nostalgia, the last time he was here on Earth, he lost so much to him. That’s right, the battle when Stripes was confined to his ship forever, were his last moments on Earth. The same went for The Cowboy, he hadn’t returned to the planet since that fateful day either.
The duo had returned to Earth to grab a quick bounty and then get out. To The Cowboy, the faster he could leave, the better. This was mainly because the whole solar system thought he was a dead man who died in the final battle on Earth, who died a hero (they made a plaque for him and everything). It was perfect for him, he hated the whole hero gig; he liked to operate freely and do things he wanted, whenever he wanted. So naturally, the hero committee that was formed put restrictions on how you could act and he hated it; so he never was a huge hero of the people, no one really knew him, he was just a guy who could fight really damn well and he happened to do it for good. So as The Cowboy walked into the setting sun to grab his bounty under the cover of nightfall, he remembered the simpler days…
8
2263, Earth, Five Years Prior To Present Day
Gunfire rained down from above, the varying volume of bombs crashing down indicated their distance from them, screams of the souls lost from the war echoed in the distance. There these two men stood, bullets whizzing around them and above their heads as they stood in their trench. The two men went by names familiar to us both, The Northern Cowboy and The Midnight Gladiator. “They say hell makes two men brothers through the despair they share” said the Gladiator to his comrade. “I guess it does but we were brothers before we got into the fight” The Cowboy responded. The two men were polar opposites, The Gladiator was a fierce warrior who lusted for bloodshed and power; meanwhile, his brother The Cowboy was a cool and collected man who didn’t care much for the war they were fighting. But they were brothers nonetheless; now you see, they weren’t brothers by blood, but by situation.
12 Years ago when the war between humanity began, both men were mere children who had lost their families in the crossfires of the war. At just 11 years old, The Cowboy and The Gladiator were neighbours in what used to be Canada until the bombs fell. Their entire neighbourhood was destroyed and many died. Bombs rained down from above and turned their city to rubble. The Cowboy crawled out of the ruins of his house and searched for survivors, for someone to help him. Who he found was his neighbour, a boy the same age as him badly burned. His hair had turned a silverish white and he was barely clinging to life. The Cowboy nursed him back to health and they spent their days training, learning to fight and to use the abilities their bodies had somehow evolved into achieving. Their bodies had evolved past a normal human’s abilities in order to survive. One day, they made a vow to one another, it was the idea of human identity that had started the war and they decided to contradict the entire concept. They decided to never use the names given to them by the world, for it was an identity uncertainty that brought the war upon humanity; and on that day two men were born. The Northern Cowboy and The Midnight Gladiator were brought into existence and they were going to stop the war that took so much from them.
Back to the battle, The two men waited for a pause in the gunfire. When the bullet rain stopped they leapt out onto the battlefield and unleashed hell onto the armies; the Cowboy was a blur in the fight, he cast massive blue bolts of lightning towards the enemy and with each blast he made massive craters and sent men flying. The Gladiator conjured a tsunami of flames and sent it towards the army behind them. Within minutes the armies had stood down and retreated, The Cowboy spoke to his brother, “I'm gonna go get a ship, I’ll be back in a bit” “Alright get back fast though, I don’t wanna be stranded here with my pants down” his brother responded.
The Cowboy finally found a ship, a black two man fighter with a hand painted white stripe on it from the nose to the tail. He hopped in and flew back towards his comrade. However, what he saw was a terrible sight indeed. Both armies had returned with reinforcements and were unloading all they had onto his brother and he was just barely holding his own. He was dying in a blaze of glory, tornadoes of fire and beams of flame were shooting all throughout the battlefield, he was shouting and giving it his all, killing by the hundreds. The Cowboy knew that his brother would be a dead man and there was nothing he could do; he turned his ship around to leave with a heavy heart when the Gladiator spotted him in the sky about to leave. “DON’T GO! NO PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE! COWBOY! COME BACK!” The Gladiator roared and begged but the Cowboy knew better; with great sorrow in his heart he left his brother there on the battlefield for there was nothing he could hope to accomplish. The feeling in the Gladiator’s heart of betrayal turned to rage as he roared and screamed “YOU BETRAYED ME! HOW DARE YOU, WE ARE BROTHERS! DIE, YOU UNFAITHFUL BASTARD!” He turned towards the Cowboy’s vessel and unleashed a blaze so incredible it incinerated the battlefield for miles and he shot it right into the sky at his brother’s ship. The ship was engulfed in a pillar of flame; and as it plummeted towards the ground, The Cowboy caught a glimpse of his brother lying on the ground, in the charred dirt exhausted of all power and with many bullet wounds all over. The ship slammed into the earth and was somehow still intact.
A few hours later, the Cowboy was sitting in the wreckage of his ship when a star cruiser flew over head and landed nearby. Out of the ships loudspeaker a voice shouted, “Hey you’re the Cowboy right?” “Yeah who’s this?” the Cowboy shouted back. The voice spoke once again “It's Stripes, the hero from the States. Looks like you wanna get off this rock, hop in kid”.
9
Present Day
The Cowboy reboarded his vessel and Stripes took off, leaving their old home behind once again. “Hey that guy sure was a runner huh kid?” Stripes struck up a conversation, “Yeah, I’ve never seen a bounty run so damn fast in my life. He really did NOT want to go to jail, he must of pissed off someone inside” The Cowboy said back. “Ha! Yeah, better keep a strong hold on the soap pal” The two shared a good laugh as comrades one last time. The Cowboy knew the end was near for him and Stripes had probably figured so too. The visions had never been wrong, Futurado Gorge was a mystical place and somehow always seemed to predict correctly. The two men shared great comradery but even still, there was a melancholy feeling hanging in the air.
An urgent message flashed across the ship’s display, a message from the Solar Police Force.
It read, “ATTENTION! THIS VESSEL IS THE NEAREST REGISTERED HERO SHIP IN THE VICINITY OF THE INCIDENT, THE SYNDICATE OF THE BLUE MOON ARE LOOKING FOR A CERTAIN BOUNTY HUNTER AND ARE KILLING POLICE AND CITIZENS UNTIL THE GOVERNMENT GIVES THEM INFORMATION ON THE CONTRACT THAT THEY FOLLOWED, PLEASE RESPOND TO THE SITUATION AND ACT AS REINFORCEMENTS.”
“Stripes where is the location on that message?” The Cowboy asked, “Mercury Bridge” his partner replied. “Open the hanger, Stripes”
10
“You can’t be serious! You know what will happen Cowboy, Don't even think about it!” Stripes shouted at his partner. “Look man, someone’s gotta do something and I’ve got something to atone for. I’ve gotta be a hero one last time.” Stripes was upset but he knew there was no stopping his partner. Whatever happened on Earth that day was eating away at the Cowboy, he simply couldn’t take it anymore he had to make up for it or die trying and that was exactly what he was going to do. The Cowboy ran off to the hangar and hopped into his ship. The hangar doors opened and he sped off into the direction of Mercury.
The Cowboy was pondering to himself as he flew, “So this is probably the end huh? It’s okay, I’ve got to do this. I’ll do it for you brother, I’m sorry it had to end that way.” As he grew nearer to the planet, Stripes’ heart sank more and more; his partner would most certainly meet his demise. As skilled as the Cowboy was, he couldn’t take on the entire Syndicate. Not even in his prime, but he could certainly do some damage and help out. The Cowboy saw the gray planet grow closer and closer; he spotted the bridge floating in its orbit, connecting different parts of the planet to each other. He then spotted the masses of criminals and gangsters shooting civilians and police. He then decided to dive bomb his ship into the crowd of gangsters and do some real damage. He dove out and used the slower gravity to land slowly onto the bridge, his ship gained speed and crashed into the crowd with a massive explosion. The Cowboy leapt into action holding nothing back, he was firing his pistol into men and electrocuting others; he shot about 20 thugs and dropped the gun, then continued to fight with his bare hands and ability, taking fire from all sides he was still able to fight back. He was dodging and weaving in and out of the path of fire, landing punches and kicks covered in lightning on anyone in his way; his power surged through him, every move he made was as fast as lightning and as powerful as a thunderstorm. He slowed down for a minute to breathe when a bullet caught him in the back, “Arghh!” he groaned in pain, and stumbled but he kept on fighting regardless.
Stripes watched on in awe and horror, his partner was an amazing sight. The Cowboy let the power flow through him and he had an aura of lightning covering every inch of him, he battled his way through a crowd of criminals and finally broke out of the pack of gangsters. What was waiting for him was something he’d never expect as long as he’d live. The Cowboy collapsed to his knees and looked up, standing before him was his brother. The Midnight Gladiator was waiting for him; he looked different from the last time the Cowboy saw him, his face was burned and scarred, he had the look of an animal in his eyes. “Pathetic, just pathetic, brother. You’re simply a beast who’s lost his fangs” The Gladiator motioned for his men to stand down and continued to speak. “I got off that fucking rock and built an empire, you went and caught small fry bounties, you don’t even compare. If you’re gonna leave me for dead, at least do something with your life.”
The Cowboy was shattered. Not only was his brother trying to kill him, he became the very thing they swore against; he had become a tyrant, a warlord, a monster. He spoke to his long lost brother, “I didn’t want to leave you there, I just couldn’t do anything. You would’ve done the same” “NO! I WOULDN'T'VE! I WOULD HAVE DIED TRYING!” The Gladiator roared at his brother. The Cowboy had a realization in that moment, it was the realization that his brother always had a dark side; he was brutal, lethal and lusted for blood. Not unlike the way he fought in the war but the only difference now was that it had consumed him completely. The Gladiator’s hand erupted with flame and he swung down on The Cowboy to finish the job. The Cowboy looked up at his brother, the whole moment was seemingly slowed down in time, he reacted. The hero leapt back and got to his feet and countered, just as his brother hit the ground, shattering the asphalt. The Cowboy landed a flying kick directly into his face. The Gladiator was sent sprawling out to the ground and then got back to his feet angrier than ever. He unleashed a wave of flame towards his brother and The Cowboy sent a bolt of lightning right back at him, the attacks clashed mid-air and made an incredible shock wave all throughout the bridge. “Done with the warm up?” The Cowboy taunted, “Yeah let’s get serious” the Gladiator growled back at him. Both men were engulfed in their respective power, The Gladiator was now wearing an intimidating coating of flame and The Cowboy had a magnificent aura of lightning. The two men leapt at each other, clashing fists and kicks; with every blow, held the power of an earthquake, flames and electricity were shooting off of every bit of contact with the two.
They stumbled back after a few minutes of continuous fighting, they both took a breather and prepared to go at it once again. The two were equals, yet polar opposites. All the men surrounding them were in awe and dared not get involved; their leader was showing power of which they’d never seen and this complete stranger to them was not only keeping up, but holding his own.
The two charged once again and met in the middle of Mercury Bridge, The Gladiator reared back onto one foot and brought his other leg down in a heel kick from above onto The Cowboy. The Cowboy raised his arms to block the attack and the force of it drove him right into the ground, right through the pavement. The biodome surrounding Mercury and it's bridge to make it habitable was shaking; every single man on the bridge, even the most seasoned gangster was fearful for their lives. The Cowboy leapt out of the shattered asphalt and landed a fierce upper cut on his brother which sent him flying into the air and then he too, hit the ground damn hard. The Gladiator unleashed everything he had in him, every ounce of power, every drop of energy he had was now barreling towards The Cowboy. Our Hero didn’t dodge, he stood still facing his brother barreling towards him. He allowed his brother’s flame covered fist to pierce right through his stomach. He didn’t even flinch, his lightning aura disappeared and his brother’s flames fizzled out. “I'm sorry brother.” The Cowboy whispered to his opponent. The Cowboy put his hand right over the Gladiator’s heart and said “Come with me.” He used the last power he had left in his wounded body and sent a shock right into the Gladiator’s heart, stopping it entirely. The Gladiator’s eyes widened and then closed. He whispered to the Cowboy with a smile as he died, “Oh good, you’ve got your fangs back…” then slumped over backwards as the last of his life drained out of him. The Cowboy fell to his knees and called back to the Star Horse, “Stripes, I’m a dead man. There’s nothing you could’ve done for me, don’t fret my friend. I left you something..” he continued, “Use the cameras and look in the weapon storage in the hangar.” Stripes tuned the cameras to the hangar and he saw a tank full of liquid with a body in it. “What is it?” Stripes asked confused. “It’s a replica of your old body, powers and all. I had it made the night after I saw the vision of my death, I spent all my bounty money and savings on it for ya.” The Cowboy kept talking, “All you need to do is activate the control panel remotely, and turn on the A.I. transfer to the body.” The Cowboy’s last message was a simple one, “I’m gonna go to sleep now, Stripes. Easy Come, Easy Go, Mijo” Stripes was now in his new body and stepped out of the tank. A tear rolled down his face as he radioed back to his partner, “See you, Cowboy”.
The Cowboy leaned back and looked out of the side of the bridge, the sun was in plain view as he died. He stared at the ball of beautiful, burning gasses. As the light faded away from him, he spoke his last breath, “Hell makes brothers of us all…”
​
Afterword
Hi There Dear Reader! My name’s Tim Agar and I hoped you enjoyed coming with me on this incredible journey of mine. My inspirations for this story came partly from Cowboy Bebop and from movies like Platoon and The Good, Bad and The Ugly, I have always loved westerns and sci-fi and it was a blast to combine them and pay homage to the great pieces of fiction that have inspired me. My experience writing this was one of the best of my life and I appreciate any attention this tale gets. Thank you for sticking around to the end and I bid you farewell.
Easy Come, Easy Go...