Facebook Texas Holdem Poker Cheats

Warning: long rambling stories ahead. I am bored and waiting to get through my first day back at work since before Christmas. You've been warned!
I've been going to the casino pretty regularly for the past few years. Before that, I played occasionally. I exclusively play slots. I view it as a night out - first with friends back when I brought $50 and played penny denom minimum bet spins and prayed to win $20, and then eventually shifting my mindset to playing higher bets and denominations. I hit my first jackpot handpay a couple of years ago. I hit $3700 on a $27 bet on a Geisha machine. I've hit a few other jackpots here and there, culminating with my biggest jackpot ever this past summer. I hit $12K on a $50 bet on a Pompeii slot machine.
Well, the long story short is that I have fallen out of love with gambling. I have somehow managed to have a positive ROI on gambling. I track my withdrawls and win on a spreadsheet. To put it bluntly: I have been extremely lucky over the past few years. I know that slots are not a viable way to win money in the long run, so I made a decision a few months ago to "retire" from gambling at the end of 2020.
I went to my local casino last Wednesday. It just so happens when I hit a jackpot that I usually do it within the first half hour or so I'm at the casino. Well, it happened again. After going up $600 or so on another slot machine (I don't remember the name), I went to one of my most hated/favorite old school slots - Zeus dollar denomination. One of my worst moments in all of gambling was a few years ago. I got a bonus round on the Zeus dollar denomination on max bet of $45 a spin. I was BEYOND excited. I've seen Youtube videos where people have won tens of thousands of dollars in that exact scenario. Much to my shock, I won nothing. In that game, you don't win anything for triggering the bonus. So I actually *lost* $45 on getting the bonus. I cashed out and left immediately.
Anyway, last week I hit a modest $4500. It was exciting...but not as exciting as I thought it should be. I was cool, calm, and...detached. The wins didn't mean much to me, and the losses mean absolutely nothing. My wife and I are in the EXTREMELY fortunate position that losing $500 or so every week or two at the casino is affordable. I'm not ignorant to how lucky we are to be in this position.
After getting paid out, I played a bit longer. But that hand pay drove home the realization that I had a few months ago: it was time to stop gambling. If I can't get pumped about a big win like that, and if I'm not even phased a little bit by losing, it's just not worth gambling any more. I used to go for entertainment, but even now gambling doesn't provide that much.
As I sit now, I am up roughly $18K over three years of slots. Not bad, but not life changing. Enough that I bought my wife a Burberry and Louis Vuitton handbag on separate occasions. The rest if stashed in savings or in an investment account somewhere. But I am 100% committed to being done. At least for 2021, and probably longer.
If anyone is interested in hearing my thoughts on how to win...I don't have any insight to share. It's luck. I got lucky. I know I got lucky. The usual tropes about setting win and loss thresholds is good advice. Sometimes I chased payouts and hit them. Sometimes I chased and lost. But I managed to hit more than miss, and for that I'm lucky. And thankful.
Anyway. I don't have a major takeaway or anything. I don't have many people I can talk about this with in my personal life, so I figured I'd share a bit of my story here.
If you do gamble, please do so responsibly. Good luck, and try to have fun. If you're not having fun, it's probably not the right way to spend your time or money.
EDIT:
I just wanted to say to anyone who reads this in the future that I appreciate the nice responses and PMs from people. It's nice to share a positive experience with others! I sincerely hope that if any of you choose to play in the future, you choose to do so responsibly. Gambling can be a hugely problematic lifestyle for some people. Stay safe. (end of preaching here).
I also want to take a second to address some comments from some people about slots being skill based. This is 100% false. The concept of slots being skill based in any way is demonstrably untrue with three seconds of reasonable thinking. If we accept that there is a hypothetical slot game which is based on skill and not pure luck, what are the consequences of that? First of all, this information would leak out. There would be no way to contain it. If one person can solve the system, another an as well. Subsequently, someone would write a book on the subject. Think about all the poker and blackjack strategy books out there. These are games where skillful play can increase your odds of winning. Last I checked, there aren't any books or Supersytem-level analyses from prominent individuals willing to stake their names and reputations on publishing a "slot technique" book. There's a reason for this. And also - think about this: casinos still carry blackjack tables for a reason: they still have an edge to win. If there is a surefire way for individuals to win when playing slots, casinos would 100% for sure take these games out of circulation. Casinos are not in the business of giving away money. Any claim there is a foolproof way to win money playing slots does not make sense when critical thinking is applied to the circumstances.
Slots are not like card games. Finding and playing only games where there is a "must win by" progressive is not the same thing as skillful play. That's more akin to something like card counting in blackjack. Many people who design slot machines and engineer the software behind the scenes have posted on Reddit and elsewhere that wins are based on random number generators running behind every spin. There is literally no skill involved - you win or lose each spin based on pure random luck.
I am saying this because there are a number of people who come to this subreddit to look for ways to cheat the system and get easy money. I see posts like this fairly often, and I'm only browsing this subreddit occasionally. Gambling is not, and should not, be a way for anyone looking to make a quick buck. If you're looking to get an edge playing slots because you need to pay bills or make a quick buck, you are already in serious trouble. Do not buy into the delusion that you can get an edge or guarantee a win. People saying this are snake oil salesmen who do not care for you or your well-being.
Anyway. I'm going to stop monitoring this post. I'm still open to receiving PMs or messages, but I've had my fun with this so far. I could do with fewer trolls, but this is the internet. I knew what to expect. Bon chance, everyone!

d100 Wild West Bounties

Working on a wild west setting complete with guns and trains. Looking for unique gangs/gang leaders who would have "dead or alive" bounties placed on them.

The Devil - a hobgoblin who is leading a band of outlaws who harass the nearby rail lines.
The Matador - A human who leads a band of minotaur who run a protection racket
The Bolts - A group of blue dragonborn who act on behalf of a blue dragon to rob banks and contribute to the dragons hoard.
Jiminy 'Slick Mick' McCraw - A gnome card shark who is a notorious haunt of riverboat casinos.
Old Hazel - A hag that sells snake-oil potions from her donkey-drawn carriage.
The Mohl Brothers - Three dwarven brothers known to rob banks by tunneling into their vaults.
The Nightwalker - A vampire bounty hunter that drains his marks. Outlawed in some territories, gainfully employed in others.
The Hide-Behind - A sasquatch-esque figure known to strangle lumberjacks and then mysteriously vanish behind trees. (This is an actual North American myth btw!)
Red Fangs - Orcs led by a War Chief Kagan Earcutter in the hinterlands
The Pack - Gnolls lead by a matriarch called The Bitch in the woods
Sulphur - a tiefling sorcerecult leader in the badlands
The Hirsch Boys - a family of hillbilly’s living in the woods. They have an almost mythical status for their depravity, and with this being DnD that is saying something
Old man Craghammer - an “intelligent” (8 INT) ogre in the mountains
Madame Smiles - A large, overweight gnoll matriarch followed by a hoard of smaller gnolls. They typically target food supplies rather than actual banks.
Lucky- A small, smiling fae/ leprechaun who makes corrupted wishes. Charming and dangerous.
Sir- A large, mechanical robot/warforged who is overly polite, but fails to notice ACTUAL social ques.
Arcane Fighter - A wizard charged with illegal discharge of a fireball.
Raw Venus - A sorcerer charged with transforming people into chickens.
Mr. Smith - A incubus who has been going around, charming those in the surrounding town.
The Alchemist's Bane: A group of homunculi who have rebelled against their creators. Some only a foot tall, while others are the size of trains.
The Golden Ducket: A group of ex-merchants who use their business know-how to scam and rob others. Lead by a large tabaxi named Splinter.
Quick Draw Beckall - A spell slinging sorcerer known for his quickened meta magic capabilities.
The Boogey Man - an oni that abducts children from the towns. Shapeshifts into a multitude of different personalities to lure children.
Shrapnel - A crazy artificer obsessed with creating weapons (and using them on unsuspecting targets)
The Wilter - A necromancer who keeps killing plants and farmlands. Legend has it the farmers that he kills turn to dust
Little Jimmy Tallfellow - Thief/card cheat that is actually 3 gnomes in a duster pretending to be a human. When locals figure out he’s a crook they switch which gnome is on top and turn the duster inside out(different color) and pretend to be a new arrival in town.
Johnny Walker - A ranger that actually protects the towns & farms in the area but because he’s usually there when there is trouble people think he’s trouble.
Charlie ‘The Archmage’ Higgins - A former theater star who travels with a group of ‘bandits’ who are also former actors and actresses. When he gets to town he claims he can drive off the ‘bandits’ for a fee, using their acting skills to fool the locals.
Gurr "Dragon's Breath" Zakk - Kobold outlaw and serial arsonist. Famed for entering fire fights with a wand of burning hand in one hand, and a wand of fire ball in the other. Also, true to name, famed for his criminally bad haliotosis.
"Lucky" Lacey Le Lewis - Human rogue. Infamous for entering any gambling establishment and immediately clearing house. Though never actually caught doing so, once accusations of cheating start getting heated, she will happily defend herself with her personal pack of razor sharp steel playing cards.
The Gargantuans - A trio of Half Giants, armed to the gills with fire arms and explosives, traveling with a massive oxdrawn carriage carrying their famous Big Bertha cannon. They sell their services at siege warfare and demolition work to any folk who can afford their massive fee. Taken from FelixLaVulpe's OfGunslingersAndGrenades
Pariah - The appearance of this Gnoll outlaw is often preceded by misfortune plaguing the area. Accidents increase in regularity and lethality. Battles end with more lost to friendly fire than regular fire. Any and all bets will immediately sour in ways were both parties end up unhappy. And Crit 1's rain like dndgreentexts.
Cappy O’doyle - World class hunter known for his marksmanship with a sniper. His family are famous for their hunting prowess but his has earned a bounty from some for peasant hunting.
Jed Flick - Former member of the military who created his own militia in search of more action. He had earned a bounty for establishing a separatist state called Fortress County.
David "Tinderbox" Black - A once-promising artificer and pyromancer who turned to a life of crime after an unfortunate head injury. His arsenal is packed with burning-shot revolvers, fiery explosives, and even a bottle of hot sauce.
The Mouse - A thieving druid who shapeshifts as a wild animal native to the area in order to sneak closer to make burglaries. Nobody knows her actual name, but she's been nicknamed "The Mouse".
Yarafaka - An orc barbarian with a giant two-handed morningstar. He's not bright, but he's strong, tough, and scary enough to make up for it. (A tried-and-true fantasy classic!)
Daughter - someone's daughter has been possessed on multiple occasions and are prone to hurting others or herself. Even when shes sober, shes mentally so broken that she can't function in society. After escaping their home despite their best efforts, the parents of this girl posts a bounty to get their daughter back
The Smiling Flamesinger - A lone (as far as known) mysterious well dressed man with clear magical ability (bard?). Wherever he goes, he robs banks, burns down important buildings, salts the earth of fields, sets horses and corrals free, and causes general chaos in his wake without a particular care in the world. Any testimony of him sees him smiling and laughing at the ruin he leaves behind: it's likely he isn't quite right in the head. He's particularly hard to pin down because of his apparent abilities as a powerful illusionist and proficient deceiver.
The Guardians - A classical group of anti-civilization druids that object to the unfair subjugation of nature in the area, destruction of various important druidic monuments, etc. After various other attempts, now they must resort to violence to the invading frontiersmen.
EED-3N "Eden" - An old warforged scout haunted by PTSD of the frontier wars. He went AWOL at some point. He shows up occasionally in towns for supplies, sometimes going rogue in a frenzy where he believes everyone in town is the enemy, here to kill him. Because of his lack of need to eat or sleep, experience with the wilderness, and general ability to stealth, he has yet to be tracked down.
Samuel "Yosemite Sam" Yosara - A dwarf gunslinger wanted for train robbery, claim-jumping, reckless discharge of firearms, square dance calling, and hunting rabbits out of season.
Jaqe "Black Jack" Shellak - A gnome gunslinger wanted for poaching, unlawful damming of rivers, claim-jumping, square dance calling, and hunting rabbits out of season.
Maak "Nasty Canasta" Noruk - A goliath gunslinger wanted for banditry, claim jumping, running an illegal casino, square dance calling, and hunting rabbits and ducks out of season.
Mark "the Hammer" Logus - human blacksmith using iron golems to trap caravans in the desert.
Jim "Chirpy" Conway - warlock with a small posse of succubi who go into towns and rob all of the men, killing any who resist
Ellie "Fangs" McCormick - Shephered Druid who leads a pack of dire wolves to raid caravans and towns
the Voice of Shadows - a squad of Shadow Monks who use their shadow jumping to get on moving trains and rob them from the inside.
the Pitts - family of Goblins who use illusions to cover their pit traps out in the desert.
Taylor Montgomery - Bard who uses Illusions to hide in crowds and do all sorts of awful things to women.
the Vice - barbarian vigilante whose victims are all found with crushed heads. Wanted bc he killed a governor (who may have deserved it).
Chooli "the cat" - native Druid cat burglar turned mass murderer after her tribe/circle was gunned down by the army.
Ted "Solo" Kazz - artificealchemist who uses bombs to derail, then raid trains.
the Earthen Wind - native Druid with a magic flute that turns people to stone. Likely angry with the white man for tainting his homeland.
Sam the Kid – A teenage boy who likes to pull pranks with a deadly twist, like instead of just placing a bucket of water on a door he place a bucket shaped mimic there instead. Also he asked for the Mayor’s daughter’s hand, and then snuck into her bedroom at night and amputated her right hand.
Tabitha "Trollsblood" Fenton - A goliath with a mean streak. Raids trading caravans and doesn't leave survivors with the rest of the Fenton gang. Tabitha has a reputation for being hard to kill, she heals so quick that rumour has spread that she's part troll.

Unleashed pt. 47

This chapter was a labour of love, heists are hard. Big thanks to u/eruwenn for helping tidy up this bag of snakes.
First / Prev / Next

“Ranjaz K’Lua, you thieving scumbag!” the Kah’Ree in the purple suit exclaimed loudly as he spotted them across the busy room. “As I live and skral, I never thought you would have the Jolos show your face here again!”
Two J’Rami in suits detached themselves from the lobby wall, walking towards the Kittran and his friends. “Alfor, my old friend!” Ranjaz smiled broadly. “No need for the welcoming party, I’ve got your credits” —he gestured to Cygna— “and a sweetener, for all the trouble I caused last time.”
Alfor paused, lecherous eyes assessing the Fae’Dan. “You know I have a thing for purple.” He chuckled at his own joke and waved the guards back to their posts. “How about we have a drink, and discuss your forgiveness.” He pointed to Thor and Eruwenn. “Brought your own security, or are these Gal. Fed. goons? Everyone knows about your probation.”
The Kittran gave a broad grin. “I got a Tulseria-damned pardon, a new ship and a very lucrative opportunity.”
The Kah’Ree smiled. “How’d a thieving cat like you get a pardon?” He gave Ranjaz an appraising look up and down. “Oh? Now, let me guess, you need something from me and my brother?”
Ranjaz fired his finger guns. “You were always the smart one Alfor, that’s why you run the casino floor.” The Kittran stepped in close. “The item, do you still have it?”
Alfor tilted his head back and away from Ranjaz. “Your little guarantee?” He looked back down at Ranjaz. “We have it somewhere safe. Had some unusual people come by after you got caught. Asked a lot of questions. Made a lot of threats.” His face contorted in anger. “We got audited thanks to you.”
The Kittran smiled. “If only they knew you better, they could have simply paid you for the information.”
“We give nothing for free.” The Kah’Ree gave a sinister smile. “House rule.”
Ranjaz walked forward to put his his arm on Alfor’s back. “Let’s go see your brother. Have a few drinks, maybe gamble a little, and discuss our future riches.”

Ripley stood in the shadows of the staff shuttle bay, watching as the numerous employees of assorted races came and went. Loud laughter caught her attention, and a very strangely dressed Niham broke away from a small group and walked towards her. Ripley tried to maintain her low profile as the scantily clad female strutted towards her in long black boots with pointed heels that clacked loudly with every step.
Deliberately avoiding eye contact the Awakened tried to will herself into the wall but it was too late and a voice called out to her. “Hey Darling! You must be the one I’m looking for.”
Ripley shook her head. The Kittran had said the contact was an Ashi pirate captain, a master gambler and expert in procuring the unusual. “I don’t-”
“Listen cutie,” she interrupted, “you’re the one lurking in dark corners drawing attention to yourself. I’ve got your security card. You tell that fluffy little stud he owes me. And more than a bottle of Fae’Dan wine and a good time, if you know what I mean.” She held up the card between her fingers, just a little out of Ripley’s reach.
The Awakened considered the phrase ‘fluffy little stud’ and decided that, despite her hopes, this was probably her contact. “You’re Captain Whiplash?”
The Ashi laughed genuinely, the jiggling of tightly squeezed breasts bursting at shiny black restraints making Ripley nervous. “Oh, Darling! Only my little pets call me that! You may call me Sho’Na.”
Ripley was momentarily confused. “So, you aren’t a pirate captain?”
“I’m anything they pay me to be.” She smiled at the silver-haired woman's naivety. “You really are new to this.”
Ripley, caught off guard, simply nodded, then replied, “I’m a quick learner.”
“Good for you, Darling.” Sho’Na handed over the card. “Just make sure you get paid up front, and don’t use your real name with clients. Ruins the mystique.”
Ripley was unsure of what was being said. Turning the card over in her hands she saw that the holo-image on the front was of a male Arkellian. “This isn’t me?”
“Honey, I was given half a cycle to get you a level three security card. Just be glad it’s a biped.” Sho’Na looked Ripley up and down. “Our mutual acquaintance told me you were some sort of master of disguise who could even trick Selva Blaster.”
Ripley paused, then smiled. Her appearance had become such an integral part of her identity she had forgotten that it was entirely optional. “It won’t be a problem.” She looked at the card again. “Unless the owner comes looking for it.”
Sho’Na gave another bosom-trembling laugh that threatened to spill out at any moment. “Oh, don’t worry, he’s tied up at the moment.”
The Awakened considered the risk. “Hmmm, but for how long?”
The few strips of shiny black material that comprised Sho’Na’s revealing outfit strained under her amusement. “Don’t you worry, Darling. He paid for the whole night.”

Eruwenn had reassessed her opinion of Ranjaz many times since meeting him. The criminal. The loyal friend. The lazy trouble-maker. All were true, but now she was seeing something new. He sat opposite Toran, the brother of Alfor, in a game of dalcho she wished she could have taken part in, but was equally glad she did not.
At first she had thought the Kittran was outmatched, a few reckless mistakes costing him dearly as the Kah’Ree deftly selected his tiles. Toran was clearly a seasoned gambler, using a blend of the Remee Le’Bow Gambit and the Kowals’Kee Analysis she hadn’t seen before. It seemed to be dismantling Ranjaz’s tiles before he could even prepare his cards. A few fortunate dice rolls and he had taken a strong lead from the outset. The Kittran appeared desperate, playing any tile available to try and slow the defeat.
It had all been a ruse, she saw it; Ranjaz had saved his best tiles and carefully thrown hands to manipulate the cards. In just a few rounds he would be able to dominate the board and raise the stakes, recouping his losses and changing the course of the game entirely. She had encountered few players who could manipulate the game so deftly, using memory and layers of strategy to corner their opponent. It was magnificent.
Eruwenn couldn’t tear her eyes from the board as she stood beside Thor. The Awakened had shown no interest in the game, studiously watching the opposite door as Toran’s staff came in and out. When a waiter entered and began preparing drinks at the small private bar in the executive gambling room, Thor coughed. It was a strange thing for an Awakened to do, and Eruwenn finally looked up from the table. “Are you ok?”
Thor nodded. By the time he had looked towards her, she had returned her attention completely to the game. “You don’t seem concerned about your friend?” he asked.
The Anatidae watched as Ranjaz used a blind double feint, and the sheer audacity of such a move made her swallow hard. She didn’t look back to Thor, but mumbled a response. “I’m very confident in her abilities.”
The waiter was methodically placing drinks by each of the players, but when they stood behind Ranjaz the Kittran surged to his feet, shouting, “Hey! No cheating Toran! Getting your waiter to look over my shoulder? That’s a dirty move I’d expect from your brother!”
Thor had reacted faster than Eruwenn, pinning the arms of the Arkellian waiter in a vice-like bear hug. Toran slowly stood. He was big, heavily muscled, and the veins on his neck bulged as his anger rose. “Don’t accuse me in my own place.” He cracked his knuckles and glowered down at Ranjaz. “I run a straight game.”
Fearlessly the Kittran walked right up to the Kah’Ree and stared up into his face from waist height. “Don’t try and intimidate me, you son of a Vogel.” Ranjaz puffed out his chest and began pushing the burly casino owner. “Nobody cheats me!”
The blow caught Ranjaz across the cheek and sent him sprawling across the room. Eruwenn winced at the impact, but maintained her composure. Toran laughed. “Watch your tongue or I’ll add it to my collection.” He walked round the table and kicked Ranjaz in the stomach, glaring at Thor and Eruwenn, daring them to act. “Know your place trash. You’re at this table because you put credits up front. You are a dishonest thief, begging for scraps, and cosying up to me any my brother to get your little trinket back.” He returned to his seat. “Why would I need to cheat against the likes of you?”
Ranjaz stood, brushing himself off. “Fine, fine.” He waved a hand and Thor dropped the Arkellian. Ranjaz tapped him on the chest. “My mistake.” He sat down and picked up his cards once more. “You’re right Toran, you run a clean game. I’m just a sore loser.” He shuffled the order of the tiles that were still face down on the table. “To show my sincerity, how about we double the buy for the rest of the game?”
Toran snorted. “Double?” He looked at the Kittran, scrutinising his opponent. The game was already over; he had control of the board and his tiles occupied the three prime positions. Was the thief trying to buy his favour, he wondered? How much was the trinket he wanted truly worth? He decided it was worth testing. “Triple, and I’ll forget you dared touch me.”
The Kittran swallowed hard, his ears flat to his head. Toran momentarily worried he’d pushed for too much but a decision seemed to be reached. “Fine. Triple.” The look of defeat was delicious to the Kah’Ree.

Cygna had done her part and lured Alfor to a private room away from his security. She had danced, skipped and side-stepped his groping hands so far, maintaining a playfulness that ensured he complied. This sort of thing was not new to her; she had spent time undercover in the past. Fortunately, there had been little call for it since she had joined forces with Eruwenn.
Alfor’s eyes scanned her body once more. “The Kittran has very good taste.” He licked his lips, a small amount of drool escaping and running down his chin. He wiped it on his sleeve. “Now, I brought you somewhere quiet. How about you show me how sweet you can be?”
The Fae’Dan smiled coyly and continued her dancing just out of reach, glancing to the doorway where Alfor’s two guards stood watching her. “With an audience?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly.
With a sly grin he waved the guards out of the room. “Now come here and let me satisfy you like only a Kah’Ree can.” His eyes wandered over her body once more.
Cygna smiled, her own eyes moving from the Kah’Ree’s hands to his shoulders, then up towards his neck. An interesting fact about the Kah’Ree was the thick blood vessels on the side of their neck. They often bulged when a Kah’Ree was angry or excited, like Alfor’s were as he leered at her. She danced closer. Another interesting fact was that their brains were not as efficient as those of other species, hence the requirement for additional blood flow; more oxygen per limited thought.
He leaned forward, his eyes locked to her swaying hips. Cygna turned slowly, and his head tilted to appreciate her assets. The third, lesser known, fact about the Kah’Ree was that an interruption to the blood flow while they were in this excited state caused them to lose consciousness rapidly as their brain burned through the available oxygen. “My eyes are up here.” She smiled as he looked up at her with his head still tilted.
He sneered. “Who ca-”
The Fae’Dan struck the side of his neck with the edge of her hand, targeting the throbbing blood vessel with a powerful blow. The interruption to his brain's oxygen supply worked perfectly and he fell face forward onto the ground at her feet. She let out a sigh of relief and looked down at his unconscious body. “Thank you, that was particularly satisfying.”
She walked over to the door and peeked out, finding the guards standing either side. “He said to order us some drinks.” One of the guards nodded and immediately put his hand to his lapel communicator.
Back inside the room, Cygna used her foot to roll Alfor to his back and began searching his pockets. She came up empty. Her eyes caught a glimmer from his collar and she found a heavy gold chain, at the end of which was his security key. She removed it just as a knock came at the door. A deep voice from the other side called out. “Your drinks, boss.”
The Fae’Dan quickly messed up her hair. Using the back of her hand she smeared her lipstick sideways, and then pulled the strap of her dress down off her shoulder. She opened the door and, to her surprise, was faced with an Arkellian waiter. The bodyguards noted her dishevelled appearance and shared a smirk, and she said, “Oh, I wasn’t expec-”
The waiter pushed the trolley into the room. “Don’t keep the boss waiting, lady.” Before Cygna could reply they were inside and the door closed. “Relax, it’s me.”
Ripley’s voice sounded bizarre coming from the male Arkellian form, and Cygna’s eyes went wide in shock. Her sharp mind quickly adjusted to this new information. Of course the Awakened could change their physical appearance; she had just never seen it. They all seemed quite attached to their chosen human forms. “Neat trick.” She held out Alfor’s key. “Did you get the other one?”
Ripley nodded. “The Kittran played his part well. I didn’t see him take it, and didn’t feel it when he placed it in my pocket. Now that was a neat trick.”
The Fae’Dan smiled. “I think I’ll pass on that dalcho game.”
The Arkellian Ripley smiled. “Probably wise.” Turning, she slipped the key into her pocket and headed back out of the door.

Ripley entered the elevator to the owner's private offices on the top floor. Thanks to the distractions downstairs, the two large desks in the centre of the room were empty. She walked straight past them to the large leokas painting on the wall and swung it forward. Behind it was a Fae’Dan safe; she took out the two keys and a small homemade device the Kittran had given her.
Attaching the device to the bio-lock and standing before the safe, she elongated her arms to reach both key positions at once. There was more than one reason she was the one chosen for this task. The device beeped twice and small lights above each lock lit up. She simultaneously turned both keys, and there was a satisfying clunk.
She raised an eyebrow. The device had worked. The heavy safe door swung open and she began her search. Ranjaz had been very specific: while there was one item she had to get, she was to grab as much as possible to obscure their true target.
Quickly grabbing as much as she could she retrieved the keys and ran back across the room towards the elevator.

Cygna hauled Alfor back onto the seat, putting him in a more natural position and messing up his hair. She looked away as she began unbuttoning his clothes, pulling his trousers around his ankles and opening his shirt up to bare his chest. From a secret pocket inside her dress she pulled out a lace thong, setting it on his head like a bandana. She also had a small box which she opened, inside of which was a replica mouth with lipstick that matched her own.
Cygna carefully applied kiss marks all over his exposed skin before popping the fake lips back into the secret pocket. She took the Fae’Dan wine and partially filled two glasses, making sure to take a long drink from one and leave more lipstick marks. The rest of the wine was poured into the ice bucket.
She heard the sound of voices outside the door. The guards were arguing with someone, refusing them entry, but when the name Toran was mentioned it was Ripley who entered, still in uniform but now looking much like her usual self. She smirked at the Kah’Ree in his derobed state. “I can see you had fun.”
The Fae’Dan chuckled. “That’s the idea.” She looked at the Awakened in her true form. “You look… better.”
Ripley cocked her head. “It would be strange if the waiter came back to deliver a message.” She tossed the necklace key to Cygna, who replaced it on Alfor’s neck.
Reclining on the sofa and picking up her glass, Cygna took another long drink. “Get the other one back to Ranjaz quickly. This one won’t be napping much longer.”
The Awakened gave an almost Ranjaz-like grin. “You could always hit him again.” Before the Fae’Dan could reply she had ducked back out of the door. She caught the eye of one of the bodyguards and gave a head tilt back towards the room. “The boss is really enjoying himself!”
As the suited pair chuckled, the larger of the two got a message in his ear piece. “Hey, silver hair.” He grunted. “Boss has an important guest. Meet them in the foyer and bring them to the dalcho room.”
Ripley was relieved – she needed a reason to get into that room. “On my way.”

Toran was seething as he watched as the Kittran flipped his final tile. Why would he have waited so long to play the Wings of Tulseria tile? His stomach sank, and he couldn’t hold back his anger any longer. “Damn you!”
Ranjaz gave a full-fanged grin. “Looks like my luck turned at just the right moment.”
“Luck!” Toran’s tile snapped between his fingers. Why had he let the damned cat goad him into constantly increasing their bet? The cycle had started with him owing the brothers a million credits plus interest, and now the infuritating Kittran had won nearly forty times that. “Nobody is that lucky.”
“Woah!” Ranjaz held up his hands. “I would never cheat, well... certainly not a second time. After you caught me, I’d be a fool to try.”
“Hmm.” Toran looked at the two behind the Kittran. The big one would be a problem, but the Anatidae looked to be nothing special. “How about I give you back your little trinket and we call it even?”
“My trinket?” Ranjaz shook his head. “I had to convince you it was worth the million I owed. Why would you think I’d trade it for thirty eight million credits? I’ll pay what I owe, take my trinket and my winnings and leave.”
Toran folded his arms and looked across the dalcho board at Ranjaz. “And why would I let you do that?” The atmosphere in the room changed as the two security guards changed their stance. “Transfer the credits back to the house.”
Ranjaz dropped the grin, replacing it with a defiant glare. “What happened to you running a straight game?”
“The game was straight. You won, didn’t you?” He leaned forward, his eyes cold and hard. “You’re just in no position to collect.”
The Kittran was about to argue when the door behind Toran opened. He looked up as Ripley entered, and his eyes widened in shock. She wasn’t alone. “Toran, you bastard! You sold me out!”
“For ten million credits.” Toran stared hard at Ranjaz. “Care to make a better offer?”
Eruwenn’s eyes blazed with anger as the grey-suited Niham pulled up a seat and sat down beside Toran. “Now, now, you lied to me about having the item before. Don’t double cross me.” Sentinel Krast placed his hands together on the table, interlacing his fingers. “I’m not somebody who forgives easily.” He looked directly at Eruwenn. “Isn’t that right, former Councillor? A little far from your new Ambassador position, aren’t you?”
Ripley stood back against the wall. She had no idea who the newcomer was, but this most definitely was not the plan. The golden green Anatidae walked forward to stand behind Ranjaz. “Oh, I had a little vacation time saved up, and decided to spend it with my good friend here.” She placed a hand on the Kittrans shoulder. “And what brings a Sentinel here?”
Krast’s lips curled in what might approximate a smile. “I’m also acquainted with Mr K’Lua. In fact, we go back a very long way.” He turned to look directly at Ranjaz. “Now, return what is mine.”
Toran looked from Ranjaz to Krast. “Yours? You don’t look like the tiara wearing type.”
The Sentinel didn’t turn his head. “Ah, so you hid the data chip inside some shiny bauble. As inventive as ever, Mr K’Lua.” The Niham finally acknowledged Toran by looking at him. “Bring. It. Here.”
The Kah’Ree sucked air through his teeth. “Well, seems like we have something mighty important, and two very interested parties.” He stood and walked to his two security officers, who drew their weapons in unison. “Now then, I believe you” —he nodded to Krast— “offered ten million. How about it Ranjaz, old friend? What’s your counter offer?”
The Kittran had been sitting, silently seething at his double cross being double crossed. He looked at Krast. “Were you the one?”
Toran was surprised at being ignored, but before he could reply Krast answered, “The one?”
Ranjaz’s eyes narrowed, his ears alert, his tail swishing aggressively. “The one who took my friend!” he snarled as he felt Eruwenn’s hand holding him back gently.
Krast’s eyes glittered as he saw the impotent rage in his opponent’s eyes. “Ah, the poor deceased human?” He smiled his mannequin-esque smile. “And if I was?”
Toran snatched a pistol from one of his men and fired a blast at the ceiling. “Your quarrel can wait. Let’s settle our business first and you can kill each other after I’m paid.” He paused, then added, “but, not in my casino. Body disposal costs extra.”
Eruwenn’s hand gripped Ranjaz’s shoulder harder, and he braced himself. In one smooth move she both threw him backwards and to the right, and kicked the dalcho table up and forward into Krast's face. The Sentinel fell backwards as a blast from Toran struck the table, but Eruwenn was already on the move, sidestepping left and ducking forward into a cartwheel. Toran's gun had been following Ranjaz, but as her leg swept down it knocked the weapon from his grip.
Once she stabilized, her fist, already primed with momentum from the cartwheel, struck Toran below the ribs and knocked the wind from him. The guard, whose gun the Kah'Ree had been holding, lunged forward to grab Eruwenn but she simply deflected his hand, pairing his forward momentum with her rising elbow to swiftly render him unconscious.
The second guard had just begun to raise his weapon when a huge fist struck him in his chest, sending him careening backwards into the wall. Thor loomed over him, shaking his head as he retrieved the energy pistol. “Too slow.”
Ripley helped Ranjaz to his feet as Krast pushed the table off his chest. Toran was coughing and struggling to breathe as Ranjaz pressed the retrieved energy pistol to his forehead. “Double cross me?” He dragged the Kah’Ree forward. “I want to see the item, then I’ll pay what I owe.” The two of them awkwardly made their way back towards Krast, so Ranjaz could point the gun in his face. “Then we can talk about your body disposal fee.”
Krast stood, and his phony smile was gone. “You can’t kill me. The Sentinels will tear this place apart, hunt you down and kill you. You think I came alone? My ship is in orbit and waiting for my orders!”
Ranjaz grabbed him by the jacket, pulling him down to his level, and struck him in the face with the butt of the pistol. Thor cooly kept his stolen pistol pointed at Toran and the one conscious guard. By the third blow Krast’s face was bloody, his nose broken and he began to struggle against Ranjaz’s assault.
A muted boom caused everyone present to stop in their tracks. Alarms began to sound and Toran swore loudly. He pulled out his communicator, ignoring Thor’s pistol. “What the hell was that!” He held the device close as he listened. “My office?” He patted his pocket. Finding his key in place, he looked to Ranjaz and then Krast. “Seal the casino! And where is my brother?”
Ripley suddenly understood why the Kittran had told her to leave his device on the safe door. After a brief further moment of shock, which she kept from showing on her face, she realized that she had been carrying an explosive without being told. If they survived, Ranjaz was going to need to explain himself. Thoroughly.
Eruwenn, Thor and Ranjaz had backed away to the opposite side of the room, standing by the door. Krast stood alone, holding his profusely bleeding nose. The opposite door soon opened to reveal scrambling casino security, with Toran and his guard standing nearby.
The unconscious guard was carried out without comment, and the Kah’Ree turned to Ripley. “Why are you still here?” She nodded and slipped out of the door, leaving one less concern for the remaining three. “Alright, which one of your skrolg-licking bastards broke into my private safe?”
Krast spat blood onto the floor, pointing at Ranjaz. “He’s the thief. You and I had a deal.”
The Kittran smirked. “I’m a better thief than blowing up a Tulseria-damned safe. If I wanted to steal it, I would have done just that. I would not have announced my arrival and sat down to a game of dalcho.”
Toran looked between the two of them. “He’s got a point.” One of his men handed him a pistol, and he continued to talk a little distractedly into his communicator. “Well, check everywhere!”
Ranjaz stirred the pot. “He’s the bastard who double crossed me, why would he honour your deal?”
Eruwenn nodded. “A government agent can’t be seen working with criminals.”
Krast's face contorted in rage. “Don’t be a damned fool, Toran!” He pointed at Ranjaz. “This is clearly some convoluted distraction.”
Toran shook his head. “They had the upper hand. You were the one getting your face ruined.”

Cygna watched nervously as Alfor began to stir. Things were taking a lot longer than expected. Finally, her signal came; it was not as subtle as she had been led to believe. As soon as the explosion went off the two bodyguards quickly came into the room, glancing from Alfor’s sleeping body to her. She staggered forward, wine bottle in hand. “We need more drinkshh!”
The guard ignored her as he saw the condition of his boss. “Not again,” he groaned. “Toran will kill us for letting him get like this.”
The second guard stepped out into the corridor. “I’m not dressing him! Last time he tried to kiss me!”
Cygna paused, not having expected it to go this way. The first bodyguard walked out as well. “He pissed on my new shoes the time before that. I’m not moving him.”
Their communicators went off and their faces became more serious. Bodyguard two spoke first. “Damn it. Toran wants him.”
The first turned to look at the increasingly bewildered Cygna. “You!” He smiled. “You got him undressed. You can dress him.”
Cygna spotted Ripley running down the corridor towards them, causing her confusion to grow further. The Awakened shouted one word. “Sentinels!”
The Fae’Dan’s mind raced. The plan was clearly blown, and they had to get out. Fast. As the guards were now facing Ripley, she took the opportunity to kick one in the back of the knee. He fell forward, and as the second turned he was met with the upward swing of a wine bottle. The first guard discovered first-hand the shocking truth of how hard the knee of an Awakened could be, and both were unconscious by the time they hit the ground.
Cygna smiled at Ripley. "Thanks."
The Awakened gave a swift nod of acknowledgement. “A Sentinel turned up, so Ranjaz set off the diversion he promised. The other brother is busy trying to figure out whether it’s us or the Sentinels robbing him.”
Cygna took on board the new information quickly, knowing she needed to help the others. “I have an idea. Lie over there and look dead.” She ran back into the room, where Alfor was groaning and starting to move. She slipped the chain from his neck and dropped it into the ice bucket, where it sank out of sight below the dark Fae’Dan wine. She began to slowly shake him.
“Huh,” he grumbled, and slowly opened his eyes. “Wha.. what happened?”
Cygna clung to him tightly. “Oh thank goodness! I thought they killed you!”
“Killed?” Alfor’s head was pounding, his memory blurry. “Who-” He caught sight of his downed guards in the open doorway. “What the hell happened?” He began pulling at his clothes, and swiftly checked that his trousers were dry.
“While we were.. You know…” He nodded; he was buttoning up his clothes. He didn’t remember, but he knew. “Some scary men burst into the room and shot you! I was so scared.” She hugged him tight, pressing herself against him.
He put his arm around her. “What men? Be brave, and tell me what happened.”
She looked up at him, trying to make her eyes as big as possible, adding a lip tremble to really sell it. “I don’t know! They wore grey suits. And one of them took your necklace!”
“My necklace.” He clutched at his chest where it should have been. “Damn Sentinels! I told Toran we couldn't trust them!”
He stepped into the corridor, where Ripley lay on the ground with a terrible energy weapon burn on the side of her face. He pulled out his communicator. “Toran.” He instantly got hold of his brother. “I didn’t answer because I was knocked out. Damn Sentinels took my key, killed some of our guys.” He looked around. “Nobody important, just some waiter.” He finally pulled the underwear from his head. “I’ll go to the security room and look at the video.”
He ended the call and turned back to Cygna. “You stay here.”
She smiled. “Sorry, we can’t let you check the security footage.”
“Wha-”
Ripley struck him from behind and he crumpled to the ground, her fake burn melting from her face. The Awakened looked around, rechecking that all was clear. “I think that’s all we can do; we should get out of here. Come with me, my shuttle is in the staff bay.”

Toran closed his communicator and motioned to a guard. “Search him.”
Eruwenn wished she had some way to capture the look on Krast’s face when the remote detonator was pulled from his pocket. She'd have to hug the light-fingered Kittran later.
The Sentinel grit his teeth. “That’s not mine.”
“Sure, sure,” Toran agreed, while simultaneously shaking his head at the Sentinel. “Looks like you really didn’t come alone.”
Krast was furious, yelling, “I’m telling you-” He broke off when Ranjaz shot him in the leg, falling to the floor.
The Kah’Ree pointed his pistol at the Kittran. “Can’t let you kill a Sentinel in my casino, even if they did just rob me.”
Ranjaz was surprised the Kah’Ree had believed them so easily. “What about us?”
Toran sighed, lowering his weapon. “Take your winnings and get out. If you stole the thing once, I’m sure you can steal it again.”
Eruwenn and Thor both made to leave. Ranjaz paused, knowing he might not get another chance. “And him?”
The Kah’Ree looked at the Sentinel holding his wounded leg. “We’ll send him back to his ship. As much as I hate it, the Sentinels are untouchable.”
Ranjaz raised his pistol. “He took my friend.”
“And we’ll get him back,” Eruwenn said softly. “Then we’ll all deal with him, and the rest of the Sentinels.”
Krast sneered and spat blood once more. “Your human is dead.”
Ranjaz fired.
Krast screamed and grabbed his other leg. “You bastard!”
Toran and his men raised their weapons as the Kah’Ree yelled, “Get the hell out of here!”
Ranjaz turned and followed the others out of the door, but just as it was about to close he poked his head back in. “Oh, one last thing.”
Toran could be seen looking up just as the Kittran fired again, but he ducked out of sight before the true outcome of his shot could be seen. The shrieks of agony, however, followed the trio down the corridor as they broke into a run. Eruwenn spared a glance down at Ranjaz during their retreat. “What did you do?”
The full-fanged grin had never been larger. “Made sure we’ll see him again.”
On the floor of the dalcho room Krast was screaming in agony. He turned over to stare at the closed door. “I’ll kill you! I will hunt you down and kill every last one of you!”
Toran spoke into his communicator. “Tell the Sentinel ship to come get their man. And, bring a doctor. A really good doctor.” He nudged one of his guards and finally let out a chuckle. After all, the Sentinels had just robbed him. “You double-crossing scum always get what you deserve.”
The J’Rami guard raised an eyebrow. “Not sure anyone deserves getting shot in the balls.”

Next

I am most likely done with this game due to its BS

I Wished for the Existence of Gods in our Eberron Game

Alright, where do I even begin? I suppose I should start by saying that this by far has been one of my favorite dnd sessions of all time. Me and my group of best friends had a blast...I mean, the game lasted around 7 hours so...
Ok so, this game takes place in Sharn, a city in Khorvaire. According to our beautiful and wonderful DM, the presence of deities in Eberron is ninimal to none, meaning there aren't really any priests or worshippers of gods really. Taking this into consideration, let's jump into to what happened this session
Our characters (group of 5) were level 11-12 and had been offered a job that could win us some magical artifacts and a plentiful amount of gold. We were to infiltrate the wedding of a mafia family and stop a secret trade of a powerful artifact between the family and the Reserved Army (basically the law enforcers and military forces of the city). We presumed the artifact to be the blade of a sword for which we only had the hilt of. We're not sure what will happen once we join the blade and the hilt, but as of now, we are aware the the hilt itself has the capability of restoring lost memories.
Here's the party composition: A grung glamour bard, a human psi warrior, a draconic sorceremoon druid gnome, an abjureartillerist dragonborn, and me, the swashbucklehexblade tiefling. We planned to use our different skill sets to divide the party in pairs. The bard and sorcerer would serve as distractions, making sure that no one notices what the rest of the group is doing, especially a pesky archmage that was at the wedding with a level 20 fighter (screw those bad bad people). The psi warrior and abjurer would be investigating the area, being perceptive and seeing if they found any clues as to how to get into the room where the trade would be taking place (cause of course there were plenty of Reserved Army soldiers roaming the building). I went off on my own, given that I'm the skill monkey of the party that can do most things fairly decently. I served to be the social butterfly and try to sniff out info from people.
Let's stop here for a second to explain something about my character. His whole aesthetic is playing cards; he loves his elegantly designed decks of cards. In addition to this, he's a warlock who made a pact with the Mask, the god of thieves (had made the pact in an alternate universe where gods were prominent, so still had the powers from the Mask, it just took a while for me to get them back when we were transported to Eberron....but that's a whole other story). During a point in the story where I rescued a lost artifact relating to the Mask, he granted me with some of the little power he had left in Eberron. For this, my character was obviously grateful.
Ok, back to the wedding infiltration. The distractions caused by the bard and sorcerer worked wonders. First, the bard presented a painting he had made earlier (rolled a nat 20 for a total of 32 when painting it) to a group of nobles sitting in a lounge area at the wedding. As you would assume, a bidding war began.....and the bard ended up getting a check for 120k gold. The other distraction they made was a fist fight, which allowed the dragonborn abjurer to swiftly make his way into a Scrooge McDuck vault which held unimaginable amounts of money. While that was going on, I was at a small casino room playing a game of blackjack. I was playing with rich folk, and we all decided to bet favors. Luckily, by way of cheating and actually having the Lucky feat, I won. One of the players was a member of the Reserved Army who didn't really like his job and was planning on quitting. As such, the favor I asked from him was to get me through one of the guarded double doors (abjurer had gone through one, there were two). Bringing along the psi warrior, I went past the guarded door. Not long after, combat broke out, as the level 20 fighter entered the room we were in, presumably to make the trade. The bard did his usual hypnotic pattern, the abjurer was way too far to notice anything, the sorcerer fireballed, the psi warrior hit things real good, and I also hit things real good...but then ran away...in style. After the psi warrior demolished the fighter, a group of guards came up some stairs near the area we were in and shouted "They're trying to get into the vault!". As such, I assumed there was a second vault down those stairs, possibly holding the artifact we were trying to obtain. Using my boots of speed and dash action, I ran down those stairs, found a vault, unlocked the door with my knowledge of locking mechanisms, and went inside, closing the door behind me before any guards could follow me inside. There, I saw 4 podiums with an item resting on each. In the center podium was the blade we were looking for, on another were some expensive looking paints, on the next was a monocle, and in the final one rested a small leather case. The podium with the blade was the only one that seemed trapped, so I grabbed the other items first. Checking inside the leather case...well, there was a deck of cards. I'm sure you all see where this is going. Now, my character has average intelligence (11), but cards are his whole thing, he had to check them out real quick...and so one card was drawn. As you may already know, this is a deck of many things I was dealing with, but one that was altered by the DM a bit (6 good and 6 bad cards, no cards that remove or give xp, and some other tweaks). The first card I drew, I got to raise an ability scire by 2, to a max of 24. I was level 12 and still didn't have a 20 in a stat, so I bumped my Charisma to 20. I decided to keep looking at the deck and see what the other cards look like because my character is interested...so I draw another. I drew a card that forced me to draw 2 more cards, and so I do. Suddenly, I look behind me and there's a tiefling bowing to me, as I draw the Knight. The other card I drew? Well, I got 2 wishes. The DM kindly gave me until the end of the session to come up with the wishes. In the meantime, I disabled the trap and took the blade, then dimension doored out of there with my new knight friend. I informed the rest of the party using some communication devices we had, and so it was time to leave. Dimension doors were cast, as well as a high level lightning bolt to the archmage as a "fuck you" before leaving.
The session was about to culminate, and so the DN asked me to please say my wishes.
First Wish: So, my character of course cares for his friends and the group is in a whole shitshow of problems, so I said.."I wish that me and those I care for, including friends, allies, acquaintances, family, and lover would be protected from any harm or ill intent directed towards them."
Second Wish: For the second wish, my character remembered all the hope that deities brought to people in the previous universe and also wated to say thank you to the Mask for his boons. As such, I said..."I wish for all divine beings of grand power, such as deities (including the Mask) with good intentions to come to this world, just as they existed in the universe I previously lived in."
That there, is where we ended off the session. We all leveled up 2 levels, completed the mission we came for, and "revived" the gods..... also like, I got super lucky with the cards cause that could've gone terribly. I was super nervous and shaky when making the wishes, literally almost cried. Nonetheless, divinity has been restored, so I'm interested to see what our DM will do with that next time we play as we shall soon end the campaign.
Sorry if this is too long or doesn't make sense, I just really wanted to share this amazing experience I had with everyone. Some parts may sound wacky, but if I explained everything, I'd be writing for hours. Either way, this was my experience.
I woud like to take a second and thank u/Saokpe, our amazing DM who puts so much work and effort into creating these wonderful games for us to enjoy. I can only hope to be as good as you when it's my turn to DM.
Have a great day everyone, and thank you for letting me share my experience!

[S] King's Survivor Gallipoli: Saints Vs Sinners

After I tried to stop this series and start a new series (which failed), I am back in the driver's seat for King's Survivor's final phase, since it would probably have lasted longer if Adobe didn't cancel Flash (thanks for rushing my series, mate!). This season, I tried to do what u/swoldow did before and make a season called Saints Vs Sinners, where 10 people who embody the term "Saint" will face off against the people who embody the term "Sinner", but unfortunately, it seemed like a lot of the people who signed up misunderstood the definition of saints and sinners. For the love of god, someone who is slightly villainous is not a "sinner", and average people are not "saints". Oh well. I guess it's the best I'm gonna get. Here is the cast:
Kahramanca (Saints) Tribe:
Ardet Prifti, 31, Rhythm Guitarist, u/Twig7665
Ardet lived a difficult life. Born in Albania with a family that was associated with the mafia meant that Ardet was never safe, and one day, he came back home to find his whole family had been murdered by the Albanian mafia. He spent years on the street, struggling to survive, before he discovered his musical talent. He played a guitar (which he had to steal), which enabled him to earn money. After a few years of doing that, he moved to the United States, where he did his best to get into the largest music college in that country, and actually succeeded. He met some people that became his bandmates, and soon they were pretty popular in the underground scene. When their fame exploded, Ardet's bandmates grew either egotistical or paranoid, but Ardet saw fame as a way to spread awareness for mental illness. He has now become a strong supporter of mental health charities around the country, and he signed up for Survivor to raise money for one of the charities he supports.
Ava Chrisly, 23, Kindergarten Teacher, u/Gemini_B
Ava was born deaf. After her father died when she was 3, her birthmother struggled to care for her and her 3 siblings. Ava was especially tough since she needed special treatment and one night her birthmother left her on the doorstep of a rich widow with a note explaining how Ava got there. The Widow, not wanting to deal with a deaf child, left her outside where she spent a cold night alone and scared. She came across Marissa, a young girl who ran away from home. Marissa took pity on her and the two banded together.
They spent years together on the street with Ava learning to read lips and Marissa learning sign language. Marissa quickly saw that Ava had a gift with children and encouraged her to find a job with kids. Ava didn’t want Marissa to leave, but then Marissa surprised her by revealing she had a scholarship to a teachers college. Ava went off to the collage and became a kindergarten teacher, but when she returned she learned that Ava had gone to jail for stealing from a rich old woman and using the money to bribe a college administrator. Ava promised she’d help bail Marissa out, and learned about survivor. She’s hoping she can win the million to help free Marissa and get their lives on track.
Chelsea Rutherford, 22, Lifeguard, u/IAmWolfNinja
Chelsea was the heiress to the throne of a foreign country with a corrupt government. The wealth that came with such a status meant nothing to her, since she was utterly disgusted with the actions of her family. Knowing her resentment for their governmental policies, Chelsea's family gradually became verbally abusive towards her. Unable to take any more, she escaped as a teen to pursue her own path. When she arrived in America, Chelsea wanted to do everything she could to erase her dark past and the actions of her family, so she got a job as a lifeguard, where she has saved countless lives. She's occasionally recognized as an heiress, but when it's brought up, she tends to have nervous breakdowns.
Chester "Cap'n" Richardson, 67, Retired Naval Officer, u/swoldow
Some may see him as just the average old man, but Cap’n has seen and done things most people couldn't fathom. Cap’n joined the navy at a ripe young age about 5 years before the Cold War began, and learned everything from afar, slowly working up the ranks. When things got bad in Vietnam, he was given the chance to take charge of a ship during the war, and he immediately said yes. He ran the ship strictly, but he got both respect from everyone, as well as being genuinely liked as a person by his crew. He led them to many naval victories but unfortunately that didn't last, when his ship was shot with a torpedo, which blew the whole thing up and killed everyone on it, except for Cap’n. With the emotional baggage of watching people he has gotten to know kick the bucket, he immediately resigned from the navy after. As a result of the shipwreck, his mindset has changed, as he’s now super overprotective of his family, and still can't let the explosion go after years and years of retirement. He hopes Survivor can help him learn more about himself, and be the thing he needs to live the rest of his life in peace.
Cornelius Von Helton, 52, CEO, u/Gemini_B
Cornelius was raised by a family that had fallen from riches and was in tough times. He never expected to get to go to university but got lucky by getting a scholarship for his creative greeting cards. While at university, he enrolled in a business course and after collage started a greeting card business with some friends. All of his friends quickly gave up on the business, but Cornelius stuck through it. When he made a greeting card that was delivered to Eddie Murphy, the comedian was impressed and hired him to do his greeting cards to his friends, family, and invitations to parties. Quickly other celebrities started to hire his business and many fans wanted to get into the trend. His business rapidly expanded and he soon found himself with a company that covered parties, greeting cards, published books and even dabbled in a touch of Realestate. While in his thirties though, Cornelius was mugged while on a walk in the park and got stabbed. He was quickly rushed to the hospital and while there, he was nursed back to health by his soon to be wife. He claims that she saved his life and proceeded to date her after leaving the hospital. She was reluctant at first, but he quickly charmed her and the two have been married for 15 years now. He has two children, a son aged 10 and a daughter aged 8. He's continued to run his business, but leaves most of the work to his higher-ups as he wants to be able to spend as much time with his family and employees as possible. He views his employees as his family and does his best to remember all their names and make the workspace as nice for them as possible. He's come to survivor because his wife loves the show and wanted to compete, but due to growing health issues can't. She's trained him to win, and he wants to do this and win for her.
Dana Vasquez, 43, Stay At Home Mom, (filler character)
Greg Zimmer, 40, High School Teacher, u/AngolanDesert
Greg is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. He is very trusting and kind and will do anything for the people he loves. Since he grew up in Texas, hard work has always been his priority. He knows that if he wants to win this game, he has to work hard at everything he does. Greg decided to be a high school teacher so he could teach his students the importance of hard work. He has been a fan of survivor for a while, so when he saw that applications for survivor were going out, he knew he had to join in. Hopefully, he won’t disappoint his students.
Gwendolyn "Gwen" Wallerby, 52, Baker, u/ghetra
Gwen works at a bakery where she gets to do what she loves every day: make many different kinds of pies. She is a very warm, loving person and has a reputation for helping out whoever needs it, usually by baking for them. Baking takes a lot of patience and strength, and she is stronger than she looks. She naturally has a very loud voice that sometimes irks people, but once they get to know her it quickly becomes endearing. Now that her children are out of the house, she has started reading much more and taking classes on different subjects that interest her. The world is her oyster.
Kirk Smolarek, 62, History Teacher, u/Twig7665
Kirk never had a normal childhood. His mom walked out on his family not long after he was born, and his father was a former Polish soldier with PTSD and a severe drug addiction, leading to Kirk experiencing abuse from him for as long as Kirk can remember. Wanting to escape his miserable life, he smuggled himself on a boat bound for Australia when he was 16. Lo and behold, the ship got caught in a windstorm and ended up sinking, and Kirk and a few other survivors ended up stranded on an island. After spending more than a month there, he was taken back to his homeland after being found there. He ended up being the only survivor of the whole ordeal. He was returned to his deranged father, where the next time his father tried to abuse him, he fought back, causing his father to end up in the hospital. Deemed not guilty because he defended himself, Kirk did not spend time in prison for this. His father on the other hand did spend time there for drug-related charges and child abuse, but was killed by another inmate before he could be released. Kirk then went to college, where he studied history there, and decided to become a history teacher. He then kept that job title for over 40 years now, and despite being in his 60s, he is still an enjoyable presence for his students, as he incorporates unusual teaching methods to make his students interested in what he's teaching. Despite being financially stable, he wants to win the money so he can be well off when he retires in a few years.
Maralyn Sander, 32, Tour Guide, u/Void_Drone
Maralyn gives tours of New York, driving around in her bus, answering questions, watching broadway shows. And she spends most of her money on her family, except for the money she spent on her pink pearl necklace. She enjoys the tours for the most part, but when she's alone she vents about how annoying the tours can be.
Kotu Adam (Sinners) Tribe:
Alexa Station, 20, YouTuber, u/IAmWolfNinja
A 3AM YouTuber who arrived late to the trend, Alexa has a tendency to flex her belongings when no one really cares. She was recently involved in a scandal where she faked her boyfriend's death, causing endless amounts of controversy, and a near arrest. Her sub count is dropping significantly every day, so she joined to help gain her popularity (relevancy) back.
Carter Witworth, 23, College Student, u/JTsidol
Witworth, he was born to a extremely rich family, but his parents didn’t have time for him, but spoiled him rotten, when he got into school, he was known for being a bully, however no one confronted him, and everytime he’d get in trouble or fail a test, his parents would pay his way out, last year, he got a slap in the face, when his parents yet again had to bribe the college board to accept him, they cut off his allowance, he’s playing just for the money, nothing else.
Irvin Eamers, 32, Olympic Sprinter, u/asiansurvivorfan
A born athlete, Irvin loved competing in all sports but wasn’t known to play fair as he was never a team player and would often torment others to win. He started training for the Olympics at the age of 17 and eventually got the opportunity to compete in multiple Olympics where he took home many gold medals. However, they were striped from him when he was caught doping and using steroids to give him an edge in races. After the controversy, Irvin’s current wife left him and he was banned from competing in any future competitions. He came on Survivor for one reason and that is that is the money as he’s currently being sued by the Olympic committee.
Jessica Abrefa, 25, Poker Player, u/Twig7665
Jessica wasn't the most well off growing up, she lived in Alabama, where racism was rampant. As such, she was bullied for her race, until one day, she decided that they will all be wrong about her not being able to do anything because of her skin colour. She publicly humiliated the whole football team at her high school, and that stunt got her expelled in her senior year. She didn't care, and then she decided to run away to Las Vegas, which she did. While there, she started modeling, but found it boring. She then picked up the hobby of gambling, and played her first poker match when she was 21. She proved herself to be a formidable foe by beating one of the top poker players at the time, a dude named Brett Herman. Impressed by her skills, he tried to form a bond with her, but she turned him down due to him being a very paranoid man. Now, Jessica dates and cheats on men almost daily, and is considered one of the top female poker players, despite only playing for a few years. An avid Survivor fan, she wants to be as flirty and manipulative as she is in her real life. The only problem would be meeting another poker player, but she finds it unlikely that she will.
Joey "Wildcard" Caruso, 24, Poker Player, u/wordonthestreet2
Joey did not grow up with the best moral compass as his father notoriously had ties to the mafia. He used the money his father made through illegitimate businesses to gamble throughout his teenage years. When his father learned about his poker abilities and how easy it was for him to manipulate his opponents they began using his poker career as a way to launder mafia money through various casinos. He is known for his excellent poker face and unpredictable style of play which earned him the nickname Wildcard.
Maize Nguyen, 28, Heiress, u/Vicctoryy
From the outside looking in, the Nguyen Family Dynasty of San Francisco looks like a well supported and strong business, but from the inside, things are crumbling apart. The matriarch and patriarch are always at each other's necks over the company, leaving their children to clean up their messes. Maize, being the oldest, has taken it upon herself to lead the company, and she leads with an iron will and even harder iron fist. While she seems like a worthy replacement for her faulty parents, she has never been afraid to leave with force. Anyone at the receiving end of a verbal lashing from Maize is likely to not return to work the next day, or ever again. She is arrogant, rude, demeaning, and yet she gets things done. Saving the company from absolute bankruptcy caused a lot of backlash, but Maize couldn't care less. Success should be accomplished by stepping on the necks of those who aren't ready for the power, and Maize has done that exact thing. Any person in Maize's way has been an obstacle she has to conquer, and with a flip of her finger, that obstacle is no longer a problem. She has never been afraid to crack a few eggs to make an omelette, and unfortunately, those eggs have just been working class people struggling to make minimum wage and put dinner on their table. Too bad for them according to Maize. Maize has come to Survivor to prove that the Nguyen Dynasty is far from over, and their business monopoly will run on for years with Maize at the front of it. She is the iceberg, everyone else is a ship with no idea of what's in their way. Those too bold to step in her way are trampled, quite literally. Maize has no problem with controversy, controversy brings attention, attention brings money, and money brings power.
Molly-Anne Benson, 26, Marketing Assistant, u/ghetra
Molly-Anne is a social butterfly. She loves chatting with people about pretty much anything and loves meeting and getting to know new people. She has a natural charm about her that draws people in, but sometimes people are bothered by how chatty she is. She also loves to gossip and is not above spreading rumors. However, she is rather sensitive and can be set off by just about anything. She frequently will push people's buttons if they offend her and will hold a grudge until the end of time.
Nikki Lopez, 29, Stripper, u/Void_Drone
Randall Martin, 49, Real Estate Agent, u/TDSwaggyBoy
Being a self proclaimed sleazeball, which is a very weird thing to be proud of, Randall's life was never too good. He didn't grow up with a lot of close friends. Sure, people liked him at first, but when they really got to know him they didn't appreciate him nor his antics very much. Randall had to make a name for himself. He quickly found a career in the world of real estate. Not even his co-workers enjoyed his company, but they appreciated his skills. Being a fast and smooth talker really pays off in his industry. And now, Randall wants to put his skills to use in SURVIVOR. How well will that pan out?
Vito Luco, 49, Used Car Salesman, u/swoldow
Vito is the last person you'd want to trust with anything. A true con-artist at heart, he now has a job selling used cars, but his past jobs would make you run away from him in fear. When he was younger, he was a part of a major drug-trafficking operation run by the mafia, and he later got a job selling illegal fireworks, both of which got him to do jail time for a decade. Newly released, he seems to be back to his old ways, as he scams people out of their money daily with his faulty cars. He was born constantly overshadowed by his perfect younger brother, who is a popular politician, while he just swindles from people. As a result, he hates people who play loyally, and wants to prove that evil is the best way to play. He isn't afraid to play hard, as that's what he did all his life, and he'll either win, or go out swinging.
Link to Season
Episode 1: The 20 new contestants are welcomed into Turkey, where their first task is to compete in a challenge for reward. The Sinners tribe win this reward due to having more young and fit members than the Saints tribe. As a result, the Saints are already demoralized as they arrive at camp. Cap'n starts to feel good vibes from Ardet and Maralyn, and takes them under his wing to form an alliance. Ava, on the other hand, reveals that she is deaf to Chelsea and Gwen, and the three form another alliance due to being close to one another already. Cap'n sees this and scrambles to find an idol, and does so. Over at the Sinners tribe, Witworth and Jessica see their opportunity to look for an idol, and they find it, giving them more security, while back at camp, Maize and Nikki get into a fight over thinking that the other has an idol, which neither of them do. Vito becomes the moderator of this fight, saying that the three of them plus Irvin and Molly need to stick together in the long run. Randall sees this alliance form and tries to get Alexa, Jessica, Witworth, and Wildcard on board, which they all agree to at first, but then Wildcard sees this as his opportunity to cause conflict within his tribe, so he becomes content with being a swing vote. The Sinners win immunity, and on the Saints tribe it quickly becomes a race to see who can scrape up the swing votes the fastest between Cap'n's alliance and Ava's alliance. Dana becomes the target for Ava's alliance because of her weakness in challenges and her blind loyalty, while Greg is targeted by Ardet and Cap'n due to his shiftiness. They are able to get Kirk and Dana on board to blindside Greg, and they try to talk to Gwen, but she does not flip. Instead, at tribal council, we end up with a 5-5 split, followed by a 4-4 vote split due to no one flipping. Then a rock draw occurs on the first vote of the season. Ardet becomes the victim of the rocks, sending him out of the game despite never receiving a single vote.
Episode 2: After an explosive first vote, Cap'n tries to figure out who flipped on the six and sent Ardet home. No one tells him who did it, so he assumes it was Ardet. Ava tries to flip Maralyn from Cap'n's alliance, but is unsuccessful at doing so. At the Sinners camp, Jessica and Witworth, despite being closely aligned, argue over who gets to keep the idol, and Witworth ends up keeping it in the end. The Saints pull out a surprise victory over the fractured Sinners, and back at camp, Wildcard decides to snake the alliance he was pretending to work with, and joins Vito's alliance. Their first target is none other than Alexa, who saw this game as nothing other than a tool to get more relevancy back, and it particularly irked Vito, who wanted to play against people who played hard. So together, with his alliance and Wildcard, they vote for Alexa. Meanwhile, the four person alliance realizes that Wildcard snaked them, so they vote for him, and Alexa becomes the second person voted off in a 6-4 vote.
Episode 3: After Alexa's vote off, Irvin tries to bond with Vito, wanting to be his right hand man, and they become closer due to both being sleazy people. Wildcard begins to feel like he's in control, and it starts to annoy people on his tribe. At the Saints camp, Cap'n starts to rub people the wrong way because of his cockiness due to having an idol, but no one catches on to him having an idol, which is good news for him, because he plans on holding onto the idol until the merge. The Sinners win immunity for the third time, and they grow cocky because of this. Cap'n and Kirk, being the two oldest men on the tribe, join forces with Dana and Maralyn to take out their biggest threat in the opposing alliance, Greg. However, the other side has majority, and they decide that Dana has been blindly loyal to the other three, and hasn't been pulling her weight in challenges, so she becomes the third person voted out in a 5-4 vote.
Episode 4: After a somewhat boring vote, Greg starts to get paranoid, since he's already gotten 9 votes and it's only episode 4. He then tries to get the minority alliance to pin their votes onto Gwen, but Gwen gets angry at him for doing so, and they have an argument. At Sinners camp, Jessica tries to talk to Irvin, trying to get his alliance to help hers take out Wildcard, and Irvin tells Vito about the plan, and Vito starts to see Wildcard as not being of use anymore. After losing the reward challenge, the Saints come back harder and beat the Sinners at the next challenge. Wildcard lets Vito know that he is going to vote Maize, since he wants to make a big move early on. This becomes the final nail in Wildcard's coffin, as Vito was quite close to Maize. At tribal council, Wildcard becomes the first unanimous boot of the season, going out in a 8-1 vote.
Episode 5: Vito starts to think that Irvin has been playing way too loyally, and he gets into a discussion with him that slowly devolves into a full-blown fight between them, but Vito, realizing that Irvin would make a bad enemy, tries to make it up to him, and it works. The Sinners win both reward and immunity, and they feel elated about it. Cornelius goes to Cap'n and proposes an alliance to him, allowing them to control things from behind the scenes with Maralyn. He also reveals that he has grown a disdain for Greg, and that they need to flip the numbers on him. They get Gwen and Kirk on board, or so they think, but Gwen blabs to Greg and their alliance, leading to Kirk to flip as well. They decide to vote Cornelius out due to him being the biggest gamer on the tribe, and he goes in a 5-3 vote.
Episode 6: The tribes pack up their things, anticipating a swap, but then the host announces that they will be competing for individual immunity on their tribe, and whoever wins will be safe from the double tribal council taking place that night. Maralyn wins for the Saints, and Vito wins for the Sinners. The Sinners also win reward, earning food to enjoy while they watch the other tribe go to tribal council. Witworth, Jessica, and Randall decide it was now or never to get rid of Maize, who had a fight with Randall earlier that day, but Vito, hearing about this, decides that Randall is the biggest sleaze on his tribe, and he needed to go as soon as possible. In his voting confessional, he states there can be only one sleazy guy on the tribe, and that was himself, so Randall had to go, and Randall becomes the sixth person voted out in a 5-3 vote, and he is bitter as all hell about it. At the Saints tribe, Cap'n becomes angry over the fact he cannot vote in the majority, and it makes the majority annoyed with him, so they decide to vote him off. Luckily for Cap'n, he still has an idol, so he and Maralyn vote for the most threatening player in their minds, Chelsea, and Cap'n plays his idol, sending Chelsea out of the game in a 2-0 vote.
Episode 7: After Chelsea's idol out, Cap'n officially became public enemy number one on his tribe, and he tries to find his rehidden idol, but Kirk finds it instead. Maralyn and Greg have a fight due to the food on their tribe running low, and morale being even lower. At the Sinners tribe, Nikki begins to be seen as an easy goat due to her one-sided loyalty to Vito. Morale at the Saints tribe dips even lower when they lose both reward and immunity. Not wanting to lose again,the majority decide to vote off their oldest member, Cap'n, as a last ditch attempt to prevent them from going on a losing streak. Cap'n and Maralyn vote for Greg, and Cap'n becomes the eighth person voted out in a 5-3 vote, missing out on the jury by one placement.
Episode 8: After Cap'n's vote out, there are only five members on the Saints tribe, compared to the Sinners having seven. The Sinners increase their winning streak by two by winning both reward and immunity. At the Sinners camp, Jessica and Witworth have another fight over the idol, with Jessica insisting that she keep it. This causes the rest of the tribe to be alerted to the fact that Jessica and Witworth have an idol, and Witworth becomes a target because of this. At the Saints tribe, the women form a tight three, and Kirk and Greg are forced to band together to survive. At tribal council, the three women stay strong, and Greg is voted out 3-2 and becomes the first member of the jury, leaving only four Saints left in the game.
Episode 9: With his back up against the wall, Kirk knows that he's probably gone next if he didn't have the idol, which ensured his survival until merge. The Saints finally win a challenge, a reward challenge, but lose immunity once again to the inflated egos of the Sinners. Not much else happens this episode, but Kirk tries to get Maralyn to flip and vote out Ava, but she disagrees to do so, and she votes for Gwen instead, making Kirk not trust her, and he decides to vote for her, while also playing his idol. This causes a 1-1-0 tie between Gwen and Maralyn, and Ava, misunderstanding what would happen if she forced a tie, votes for Gwen while Kirk votes for Maralyn, and Ava becomes the second person in King's Survivor history to be eliminated by default, due to there being no other options, and she becomes the second member of the jury
Episode 10: At long last, the tribes merge into the purple Ucurum tribe, meaning balance in Turkish. Left in the game is Witworth, Gwen, Irvin, Jessica, Kirk, Maize, Maralyn, Molly, Nikki, and Vito. At first, it seems like it would be Saint Vs Sinner, but Jessica and Witworth come to the three Saints left in the game, and they convince them to vote with them come tribal council. Vito wins his second immunity challenge of the season, and his target was Witworth for being the strongest male not in his alliance, and also for lying about not having an idol, which he believed was given to Jessica. At tribal council, the lines cause a 5-5 divide between Irvin and Witworth, and on the revote, Maralyn randomly decides to flip to avoid a tie, and Carter Witworth becomes the third member of the jury, and also another person to go out with an idol in their pocket. He is understandably pretty pissed about this ordeal, but wishes his tribe well.
Episode 11: The day after Witworth's blindside, the nine remaining contestants compete in a reward challenge, which the team containing Irvin, Maralyn, and Vito win. At the reward, Irvin and Vito realize how dangerous Maralyn could be after she starts trying to talk game with them. Soon afterwards, Maralyn finds the idol, and Jessica calls out Molly for following Vito almost blindly. Nikki wins the second post merge immunity challenge, and Vito tries to recruit Jessica for the vote, which succeeds. They then choose to target Maralyn, since she was the most threatening out of the three Saints, and the six remaining Sinners pin votes onto her. Unfortunately for them, Maralyn pulls out an idol, and the Saints vote for Irvin, a potential immunity threat, making him the fourth member of the jury in a 3-0 vote.
Episode 12: After Irvin's blindside, only two men are still in the game, compared to the six women. Nikki is able to find an idol, after thinking that she hasn't been playing hard enough, while Molly gets into a fight with Maralyn over the latter pulling out an idol, which she hadn't wanted her to do. Molly wins immunity, and it becomes a battle of the Saints Vs the Sinners, just like the theme of the season. The Saints go after Maize, wanting to weaken Vito further before going after him, but they are unable to swing anyone over and Vito, fueled by vengeance, gets his alliance to vote for Maralyn. In a 5-3 vote, Maralyn becomes the fifth member of the jury. Back at camp, the final seven become annoyed at Nikki's arrogance after being safe from being voted out, so she becomes a target for the two remaining Saints left. Kirk also becomes a target for being a perceived leader for Gwen, causing him to be target numero uno. After Kirk wins immunity, the target shifts from him to Gwen, due to her being perceived as not wanting to play the game, and rather would be along for the ride, which Vito found unpalatable. Kirk and Gwen then try to vote out Molly for her strength in challenges, and in the end, Gwen gets the boot in a 5-2 vote, making her the sixth juror.
Episode 13: With only six people left in the game, the final reward challenge takes place. Maize wins it, and she shares it with Vito, her closest ally, and Jessica, who her and Vito wanted to bring closer. Soon, they realize what a threat she could be, especially because she's a poker player, she becomes the biggest target instead of Kirk. Luckily for her, she wins immunity. Kirk tries to bond with Maize as a way to get Vito to not vote him out, but it backfires, and he becomes the biggest target yet again. At tribal council, he votes for Molly, but everyone else votes for him, making him the seventh juror in a 5-1 vote and completely eliminating the Saints from the game.
Finale: Jessica, Maize, Molly, Nikki, and Vito remain. Five players who had remarkably different playing styles, but all came from the same tribe. They compete in the second-to-last immunity challenge, which Maize wins, and the biggest target becomes Jessica again, who has proven herself to be the only player not following Vito, and only voting with him just to get further in the game. Vito does not feel the same way about keeping Jessica around, so he and his alliance with Nikki, Molly, and Maize vote for her, and Nikki plays her idol in case someone flipped on her, and Jessica becomes the eighth juror in a 4-0 vote. Back at camp, Vito feels incredibly cocky, and he tries to influence a fight, and he does so between Nikki and Maize. He then goes on to win final immunity, and Nikki tanks her own game with her fight with Maize, and everyone votes her out, causing her to become the ninth juror in a 3-1 vote. The final three consists of Maize, Molly, and Vito. Molly gets criticism for her lack of strategy, only using her social game to get far, and her challenge capabilities. Maize is seen as following too closely to Vito, but the jury is willing to vote for her if Vito tanks his jury speech. He does not, and explains his game in great detail, saying he started out forming a five person alliance on the first night, he commenced the Wildcard blindside, the Witworth blindside, the Jessica blindside, etc. He did it all, but the bonds he formed in the game were genuine, and he didn't intend his villainous backstabbing to be taken personal. In the end, he gets all the jury votes, even from two people he never met, Greg and Ava. Maralyn wins the Fan Favorite for standing up to Vito and her idol play.
Winner: Vito Luco, u/swoldow
Fan Favorite: Maralyn Sander, u/Void_Drone
Potential Returnees (yeah, I haven't done this in a while): Vito, Jessica, Kirk, Maralyn, WItworth, Ava, Cap'n, maybe Ardet, if I do a first boot season
Next season, will be the final season before season 35, I won't spoil the theme for 35, but trust me, it won't be a season to miss. Season 34 however, with the release of the new Island Of The Idols sim, it will feature two King's Survivor Idols, who will be revealed with the sign ups. Next season will be King's Survivor Venezuela: Island Of The Idols!

DEATH CLOCK

DEATH CLOCK
I came home and found both my mother and father brutally murdered, hacked into pieces.
I was of course shocked and surprised, but I should not have been, after all today was 2020/11/24 and the clock was 19.30.
I was looking at our old family heirloom, an old clock that showed yeamonth/day and time, but not the current time.
Oh no, the death clock showed you the exact moment of your death.
I had never really believed in it, but my father had.
It had precited the exact time of death of my grandfather and grandmother, both dead in a car crash.
I had always suspected that my grandfather went insane with his obsession with the death clock and killed himself and my grand mother at the time it was predicted.
But now the clock was two for two.
And there was no way in hell that my father had murdered both mom and himself and after that hacked them both to pieces.
I walked over to the clock and pressed the button like my father had instructed me to all those years ago.
All the pointers began spinning around, quickly and a strange song began to play.
After a while all the pointers stopped and indicated a date and time. 2100/11/24 19:30.
Whooooa.
Another eighty years from now, I was only twenty years old at the time. I would live to be one hundred. The world was my oyster.
2025/11/24
I have been living large, gambling at casinos, doing tons of drugs knowing I would never overdose and die like so many friends I have lost in these short years. I started playing Russian roulette, you know two guys one six shoot revolver loaded with a single bullet, you take turns holding it against your own heads and pull the trigger to see which one of you will be the unlucky one to lose and shot your own head off.
Of course, it was never me.
Mob bosses started to take an interest in how lucky I was they wanted to learn how I cheated the systems.
But I could not teach them. I got a few punches in my face and then I agreed to do some dirty work for them.
This fit me like a hand in a glove.
Armed bank robbery shot outs with other gangs, I even worked as a hit man a few times.
2030/11/24
Another seventy years to live, I am working for the Renai`s one of the five crime families of Italian mobsters in New York.
We are settling the score with Don Mario Corleone an opposing crime boss, I think he might have been behind the murder of my parents. We already killed his brother Luigi.
Me and Johnny was ducking behind cover, but as usual I remembered I had no need to, I rushed out into the fire of shoots friendly and hostile both, none of them would graze me anyway.
I emptied my six shooter magnum revolver straight into the faces of six men, I was no great shot, never had been but at point blank range it was impossible to miss… well for me anyway.
Anyone trying to shoot me would somehow miss, have their weapon click like it was empty or even explode in their hands.
Johnny always told me I had the devils luck, as far as I was concerned he might be just right.
Johnny and the boys came running after me , the Corleones shot down half of my guys with fire from tommy guns, the famous machinegun used by old school gangsters and bank robbers.
Johnny walked to me covered in blood and guts and even some brain matter from his fallen friends.
I just stood there smoking a Cuban cigar, reloading my revolver with out a care in the world.
- Wow you really DO have the devils luck boy! Johnny told me.
- Yes, me and the boys never understood how you could just rush into enemy fire like that , and look at you now, standing here with half our boys dead without a care in the world, smoking like it is nothing to you. Some of the boys are saying you made a deal with a demon. Freckled Frankie told me.
I had to watch myself and not let anybody learn about the death clock, sometimes when I was out partying with girls I talked to much, when I was high and drunk. I had to kill a few just to make sure they did not talk. It was nothing girls come and go in the big apple. But I could not let Johnny or Renai find out.
Freckled Frankie sure as hell did NOT have they devils luck, a ginger bastard with red hair and freckles all around his face, born of a prostitute mother that had been found in the gutter, Frankie had not even went to her funeral. He was beaten everyday buy his alcoholic stepdad and beaten up even more in school.
If Frankie`s luck kept up with him, I have nothing to worry about he would be dead sooner or later and would have no chance to open his ugly mouth and yap about it.
We butchered every last one of Corleone`s men lost most of ours, but I did not give a fuck, having the devils luck makes one a bit narcissistic and nihilistic I suppose.
It was me Johnny, Frankie and Mario Corleone for the final showdown.
Corleone took out a revolver and shot straight at my head, somehow it swerved and went into Frankie`s left eye instead instantly killing him. Takes care about that problem I thought to myself.
Mario wanted to try again, and this time the revolver exploded in my hand. Me and Johnny spent the next few hours cutting of his body parts, fingers, toes, feet, legs, hands and arms.
We asked repeatedly who killed my parents.
Always the same answer, Renai. That fucking big nose motherfucker. I would fuck him up really good.
I putted Corleone out of his misery. Bullet through the brain.
2031/11/24
Spent on year investigating, got to make sure before final confrontation.
All the evidence pointed to him, Mister Alfredo Renai, the big nose mobster, my boss was responsible for my parents murders.
It went just like last time, Johnny cut him up and Renai admitted, my parents owed him money, so he had a hit man sent for them. Johnny threw Renai out of the penthouse window on the top floor of a skyscraper, not much was left of Renai after he hit the pavement, he now looked like the meat he liked to eat with his spaghetti.
-Nice work! I told Johnny and I took over as the next crime boss.
Sure some guys did not like it and tried to kill me, but they had no success, and I let Johnny cut them up, burn them, hang em high, drown them or whatever he could come up with.
I only wished he did not kill big nose Renai so soon, I wanted to know the name of the hitman he had sent to kill my parents off.
We payed the cops of like we always did for the murders.
The never came looking my boys up.
The next few years a bloody gang war broke out in the city, tons of shootings and explosion and murder.
But I still had the devils’ luck.
2040/11/24
I was now ruler of the ONLY crime family in New York.
All opposition had been wiped out. I had another sixty years to live. Sometimes I wondered if I should use my power for good.
Like superman, spiderman or batman.
It was a funny and strange thought.
I guess it was to late for that anyway.
Johnny came into my office with a smile on his face.
-I found your parents killer!
-Really, who was it?
-Me of course you dumb fuck, he punched my face with brass knuckles, crushing my nose.
I pulled up my revolver and tried to shot his face of, but it exploded in my hand leaving me with no fingers.
-Ha,ha I used your stupid clock at your parents’ house you can’t kill me.
Oh no. This was not good. I must have talked to much again
And now he knew.
-Well, maybe I cannot kill you, but you can’t kill me either. I punched him with my left fist.
-Oh, believe me I don’t intend to. He broke my left arm. Then cut my tongue out, chopped of my tongue, dick and balls, ears, nose, legs, arms and cut out my eyes.
I was now limbless, blind and almost def. He threw me out of the window.
2041/11/24
Johnny is visiting the hospital as he those every day, he pays to keep my alive, the nurses and doctors want to pull my plug, but unfortunately I know they never will, I got fifty nine years left after all. The doctors and nurses think I am just a vegetable but I am aware somehow Johnny seems to know this.
He comes here everyday to tell me about the women he had sex with, he wish he could show me but sadly I am blind, he tells me about my old friends and how he has found them and murdered them, about my old girlfriends how he fucked them and raped them, beaten them, killed them. And I can do nothing about it.
Sometimes he plays recordings so I can hear them scream.
He tells me he will live for another sixty years. He knows I have fifty-nine years so he can come here everyday for the rest of my so called life to torment me, fifty nine years.
He laughs at how stupid I was, the clock just shows you that you cannot die but you CAN get hurt.
I wish I could scream but I have no tongue, no voice.
And I am going to be like this for another fifty-nine years.

I used the national lottery app to scan my ticket and it made a fan fare noise and a kerching, spooled for 20 seconds , then told me I had won a free lucky dip.

ANALysis…..

So, I said I would write a post on this, here it is. The title was partly to get you interested and partly a little cheeky throwback to the bad old days when u/plucky26 went off meds…
Anyhow, this is a longish post about FA and TA so scroll to the TLDR if reading isn’t your thing, or ignore it. Or if you know more about it than me put a comment in…
FA: FA attempts to measure the intrinsic/inherent value of a stonk. You can do this a lot of ways but what your working out is whether the SP represents undeover value or fair value. A lot goes into FA, but if you want a basic cheat sheet then here it is: - What does the company do?

Who runs the company?
What direction are they heading?
Where have they come from?
How do they stack up against the competition?
What are the other economic/social/political factors that impact their future?

These are the 6 basic questions you need to answer when trying to arrive at a conclusion. So, how do we get answers?
Reading mutha fuckers, reading……
You need to read and understand the product. That’s the answer to question 1. What do these fucks actually do, does anyone care, doe they make tendies?
The answer to question 2 is probably the most undervalued thing in FA IMHO. People, more than products, leave a legacy they transport form place to place. DO NOT DISREGARD THIS STEP…
If old mate is about to get bent over by the Feds for embezzlement, or his wife’s BF has filed a claim against him for watching them through the window, or if he has bankrupted the last 6 places he went then this will impact the SP once its out.
Working out where they are heading runs parallel to the SP more than you might think. The market, in a broader context, is future based. There isn’t a shortcut around this step, its reading, reading reading bitches….
Although Stonk history tells you a story, its more useful for seeing what they have come up against in the past and how the SP reacted to it. What made it Dip, what made it rocket? What is the ROI? And more, all this historical shit gives you a template but not a guaranteed direction.
Question 5 and 6 are where you start to delve into the nuts and bolts. P/E ratio’s, cash runways, market index rankings per sector and all the snooze button shit that hides the details. Im not going to describe what all this is, DR Google is smarter than me and I’m a few stubbies in already so I might lose track of what the fuck I am saying.
Here is a great link https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/fundamentalanalysis.asp
At the heart of FA is whether you believe the narrative the numbers and words tell you.
IMHO if your only interested in FA, then avoid micro caps.
0.03c - 0.05c SP and a $300 -$500 SP is the same % difference but a world apart in the ability of a Stonk to fluctuate under their market cap and FA just doesn’t give you the type of info you need to accurately make a profit within those margins on micros.
(Happy to be proven wrong on this if you think otherwise.)
That’s fucking great pal you might say, but fast forward to the part where it gets me on the rocket ship before it blasts off….
Ok, well here is a clue. If you have read this far and your already impatient or scrolling down to the TLDR, FA might not be your particular brand of vodka.
So lets get into the occult, the witchcraft that is TA….
TA: Being technically anal is actually easier than you might think.
TA is about trends, historical data and volumes. Sure its about more shit than that but it also kind of isn’t.
Its basically saying this stonk already has a template and I can predict where it will go next if I understand that template.
When stonk go up, what does the chart look like?
When stonk go down, what does chart look like?
Yes, it involves funny squiggly lines and colors.
You’ll also come across all sort of stuff like golden (showers) crosses, cups and handles, head and shoulders, descending triangles and other weird phrases but all they are really doing is describing a pattern.
And patterns are predictable once you can see them.
I am tempted to get super into these patterns, but this post is already long so here is a link: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/technical-analysis-of-stocks-and-trends.asp#:~:text=Technical%20analysis%20is%20the%20study,data%2C%20including%20price%20and%20volume.&text=The%20two%20most%20common%20forms,needed%20to%20make%20a%20profit.
If you a commsex user, then send a tendie to chief Tom because as an avid reader of ASX_Bets he has clearly been up to the R&D spooks over there and told them to improve the graphs on the app.
You can’t do the super technical stuff, but go backwards over any of last weeks rockets (CRO, HYD and some of the smaller cap ones) and go to the 1 day, 5 day and 1 month graphs respectively.
Click on the chart style indicator (the funny line that looks like the ‘Stonks only go up symbol’) and change it to candlesticks. This gives you indicative buy/sell data in pretty colors so its easier to work out.
Then look at the uppelower indicators, you can change it to show you volume, price tracking lines, Bollinger etc..
Have I lost you yet? That’s ok…
Zoom out the 3 month charts with the same settings and OMG, a pattern emerges….
Zoom out again to 6 months, another pattern…
Zoom back in, heres that funny old pattern again…
But wait you say, this stonk keeps hitting a certain point on the graph, then those red columns get huge and it stays there or bounces down again.
Hello resistance line, hello seller volume, hello traders with pre determined exit points. These guys are not super interested in the FA or the intrinsic value of a long term hold, they are interested in making the 5/10/15% what-the-fuck-ever percent and bouncing out.
Hold the fuck on, when it hits a different level those green dildo’s start popping out in the bottom graph and it stays there for a bit then heads up again…. Aloha support level…
Just go look at Zippy with the above parameters on commsex app, youll see exactly what short sellers, swing traders and the like see….
Fair warning: going backwards on the app helps you to recognize patterns but to do the proper witchcraft TA you need the proper tools and programs
Yes matey you’ll be saying again, very interesting but how the fuck does this get me on the rocket ship before blast off?
Well IMHO, there are 3 ways to board the rocket.
1: You have a mate who tells you or they post it somewhere.
2: You jump on after blast off and play the gambling game, freaking out when it dips and missing all your sweet tendies or pretending diamond hands are the only way and watching it dump then losing all your tendies, or bag holding forever. Or you get lucky and pop out at a high, but TBH your really only gambling (someone please comment ‘Sir, this is a casino, I love that shit 😊)
3: You do both of these methods.

FA alerts you to the stonk. You do the reading and think it’s a winner.

-TA sets your entry point so you board before take off and exit before crash landing.

FA helps you determine whether it’s a good hold as its got the legs to break multiple resistance levels over time
TA helps you recognize the famous P&D and set an exit point to bail before you become the proud owner of a piece of shit.

Both methods have their role.
Yes you can use OBV and Fibbo numners to scan for potential like I do sometimes, but that’s a whole other spectrum of TA and its already past bedtime.
FA IMHO is better generally for Mid/Large cap because they are generally less volatile and FA has seasons where its super useful (Earnings months etc…) TA is better for bouncy bounce plays on micros and mid/large.
But don’t go neglecting either at any time, TA tells you things the FA misses and vice versa.
You can always subscribe to a service that does this for you. Intellegent investor is good-ish, so is wallet investor. Motley fuckwit has some ok picks sometimes but gets the fuckin dick from me because they just don’t stop with the fucking propaganda….
Disclosure: Generally the posts on here do ok, but you gotta know when to get off… Unless your planning to holder forever like uncle Wazza, but that just doesn’t seem to be the vibe here…
For what its worth , (before you all tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about) I have posted about 3 stonks on here in the last few months. (admittedly I shit-post a lot too…)
AFG, which went up 18% 2 days after the post, then dumped and has dribbled ever since but if you’re a long holder you’ll do OK and… EDIT: up another 3.19% after this post...
ICU, which is a micro and went up 15.5% the day after the post. Both were the result of FA/TA combination and both delivered tendies of the succulent variety. EDIT: ICU went up a further 52% 2 days since posting then retraced a touch...
OPY which went from an open of 3.14 up to a high of 4.80 the next day, a 52.8% raise then leveled out around the 3.70’s EDIT: up another 13.7% since this post...
Sorry about the long post, I got finished washing the wifes BF’s car early and he let me have the WIFI password…
TLDR: Gamble if you want or learn some shit and make tendies…
Edit: some really good comments below. I have made far more $$ by choosing good Stonks and holding them over the years than I have ever made day trading.
FA is my primary method for choosing and accounts for probably 75% of my decision making and TA fills the gaps to help maximize profit making.

Zdravko Swims Home from the Grand Dame - SKT - Session 24

Previous Session: https://www.reddit.com/dndstories/comments/kkzknk/recon_in_yartar_and_attack_of_the_mudfish_skt/ In the streets of Yartar our heroes got ambushed by some weird fish-people and a "mudfish" that claimed to be a god. After significant amounts of snooping and intel-gathering, the party felt they had all they needed to know to enter The Grand Dame riverboat casino and to reach Drylund - the prime suspect in Hekaton's disappearance.
.
Cast: Level 9

Zep: Kenku Casino-Worker.
Zdravko: Human Exotic-Foreigner.
Lyra: Wing-ed Monkey; pet of Exotic Foreigner.
Jormo: Tortle Oarsman.
Beau: Tabaxi Noble.

.
Jormo submits himself to Nevil Storn - Captain of the Grand Dame - for a position rowing the ship's oars. Captain Storn initially questions Jormo's Iron Gauntlests (of Ogre Strength) which the Tortle claims protect his hands from blistering while rowing. The captain seems skeptical but ultimately lets him aboard.
Next Zep applies to be a dealegame-runner in the ship's casino. After an impressive card trick where the Kenku makes an entire deck disappear only to begin pulling cards from his beak, Captain Storn is so impressed and adds "I'd rather have you running games in our casino rather than playing them that's for sure. Not sure Akane would even be able to catch you cheating."
Once aboard Jormo sits at his rowing station, and Zep reports to the casino where he sets up a game at one of the dozen tables, near a statue of a golden goose on a wooden pedestal. Zep notices crew and staff preparing for guests to arrive. An woman in a beautiful purple dress sets up a game board similar to Dragon Chess at the table next to Zep's. The Kenku also notices a stern-looking older woman in a yellow robe adorned with embroidered green snakes, prowling the casino floor; she is checking to make sure nothing is out of order with the game dealers. Below deck Jormo sees a tiny octopus riding on the shoulder of a man (the Tortle rightly suspects this may be Khaspere Drylund) who briefly checks in with the man who leads the Rowers.
.
An hour later Beau - disguising himself as a different Tabaxi named 'Razzlestacks' - seeks to board with his exotic muscular foreign guest, Zdravko (who fakes a limp and leans heavily on his quarterstaff-"walking stick"). Lyra has wildshaped into a flying monkey perched atop the staff as the "Exotic man's exotic pet."
Many of the nobles and aristocrats gathering here are dressed eccentrically enough that as odd as the group of covert heroes may look, they don't expect to arouse too much suspicion.
Captain Nevil Storn is a bit wary of Zdravko's pet, saying that animals usually aren't allowed, but Zdravko assures him that she is well trained and Lyra plays the part well. After a brief conversation with Beau the captain welcomes them aboard his ship.
As they climb the gangplank they see a stern-looking older woman wearing a yellow silk formal robe; she's helping passengers exchange Gold for wooden "Golden Goose" gambling tokens which she procures from a messenger-style bag at her hip. Beau senses magic and hones her vision to see an aura of Conjuration from the bag, and an aura of Transmutation from the Robe of Snakes.
.
By sunset everyone has boarded and the boat glides out into the wide Dessarin river for the evening. Paper lanterns illuminate the sides of the boat and balcony around the upper deck.
Zdravko and Beau schmooze with nobles, while Lyra keeps watch. Zep faithfully runs his gaming table while keeping a look-out. Jormo takes semi-frequent breaks from rowing to check on the situation in the casino through one of the port holes.
Zep and Lyra both notice that the woman in the snake-adorned yellow robe has been scrutinizing them much more carefully than the other guests. Between Zep and Beau carefully timing and concealing use of the Message cantrip they're able to somewhat keep each other in the loop. After awhile the lady in yellow ascends the spiral stairs to the upper deck and isn't seen again for several minutes.
In the meantime Zdravko and Beau chat with a jovial noble who seems quite taken with Zdravko, he mentions that Khaspere Drylund prefers to socialize with the gamblers who wager the most. They then enter a high-stakes game of wit and luck against one of the highest-stakes gamblers in the room and Beau beats him, earning himself 300-some gold worth of Golden Goose tokens!
.
Khaspere Drylund enters the casino from the spiral stairs, followed by the woman in yellow. He socializes with the high-stakes gambler before approaching Beau. The woman in the snake robe continues patrolling the room.
Beau senses magic as Drylund approaches and focuses her eyes to see a Transmutation aura around the pet octopus resting on his shoulder.
Zdravko takes flying-monkey Lyra out to the balcony to "stretch her wings." The Druid flies out of sight momentarily, then reverts back to her winged Tiefling form, and casts Invisibility on herself as she seeks out Captain Drylund's quarters in the upper deck.
Jormo gets sick of waiting and rowing and enters the casino, pretending to be a noble and snacking at the table. Zdravko gives him a nod before realizing that might have been too much of a tell.
Drylund inquires of Beau what brought him aboard the Grand Dame this evening. Beau explains that he has a background as a sailor and is always interested in unique sailing vessels. After the discussion moves on to local politics Drylund essentially tries to recruit Beau into buying a summer home in Yartar so that he can "participate in the political process." Beau is invited to accompany Drylund to his quarters and he uses his Subtle metamagic to Message Lyra that they're coming.
Zdravko pretends to just meet Jormo for the first time and invites him "to the balcony for fresh air" so they can follow Beau and Drylund. As soon as they're up the stairs Zep notices from his gaming table that the woman in yellow spins on her heal to follow them at a brisk pace. Zep attempts to mask the somatic component of a Message he sends to Zdravko, "You've got a tail; the woman in the yellow snake robe."
On the balcony Zdravko warns Jormo that she's incoming. When she arrives she asks to speak with Zdravko privately but the monk insists his friend be present. She says, "Very well. I know you all have come here with ill-intent and I won't stand for it." To Zdravko she adds, "I suggest you swim home to where ever it is you came from" as she attempts to hijack his mind and will.
Jormo attempts to Counterspell her Suggestion, but she in turn Counterspells his effort. Zdravko nods, "Yes, that sounds good" as he leaps from the balcony straight down into the water below.
The Tortle and the woman stare each other down for a moment as it becomes obvious that a 1 vs 1 Wizard battle is upon them. Then Jormo casts Banishment, and without her ability to counterspell having returned yet she vanishes with a *pop* seemingly into thin air!
.
Jormo runs back down the stairs - knowing he only has a minute before she returns from the demi-plane he sent her to and frantically motions for Zep to follow him. The Kenku pretends to sneeze, sending all the cards at his table flying, before he leaps up to follow his Tortle friend (but not before grabbing a few fistfulls of crackers and cheese from the buffet. As they run through the Dance Hall on the upper deck, towards the hall that Beau and Drylund disappeared down Jormo catches him up on the situation, "Zdravko went for a swim and I made the yellow wizard disappear, but she'll be back soon."
.
Meanwhile Lyra had been searching Drylund's quarters but only had found some business expense records before receiving Beau's Message. Still invisible Lyra easily hides as Beau and Drylund enter and begin to talk about real-estate holdings.
Less than a minute later Jormo and Zep barge in. Trying to act surprised Beau cries, "What's the meaning of this?"
Drylund says, "Akane was right, you all are up to something. What do you want?"
Jormo says pointedly, "We wanted your help in case we need to assassinate any Storm Giant royalty."
With that Drylund immediate becomes hostile and says, "C'mon Sid, let's do this!" as his tiny pet octopus more than triples in size to become a Giant Octopus!
.
Drylund attempts to enshroud himself in a spell, but Jormo Counterspells his effort.
Zep casts a Darkness spell on his ring, essentially blinding everyone in the small room. For most of fight nobody sees much of what's going on. Drylund seems to be lashing out with psychic tentacle attacks, along with spells that effect their minds as Dissonant Whispers force Jormo to momentarily flee the dark room.
Since Lyra can't see, she destroys the water in the octopus's aquarium which enrages the beast as it spends the rest of the fight blindly sloshing its tentacles around after her.
Zep is the only one who can see thanks to the abilities his patron bestowed on him, but he has to take a moment to conjure his blade to his hand before he can take advantage of it. Meanwhile Drylund lands a couple lucky Rapier thrusts against the Kenku in the Darkness.
Lyra similarly lands a lucky hit with a Guiding Bolt, but the extra light that normally sheds off the hit creature can't permeate the magical darkness.
Zdravko continues to swim home.
Beau lines up where she knows Drylund is and hopes an ally isn't directly behind him and unleashes a Lightning Bolt - unseen in the darkness but just as deadly. Drylund attempts his own Lightning attack, but still essentially blind, misses.
After a couple missed Firebolts Jormo yells for Zep to cancel the Darkness. Zep keeps the spell active, but covers the ring, thus obscuring the darkening effect. Jormo slings a cold orb at the injured Lord Drylund's head with the intent to subdue him rather than kill him and it works!
The force of the orb's impact combined with the brain-freeze like effect drops Khaspere Drylund to his knee as he calls out, "Please, I surrender, I surrender. I don't want to die." He tells Sid the octopus that it's over and to go out and get some water. The octopus shrinks back to its tiny size as it slowly crawls up the wall towards the port hole window which Beau opens for it.
.
They tie up the captain and Jormo reminds them that the wizard in the yellow robe will only Banished for a few more seconds.
Beau demands Khasphere Drylund tell them, "Where is the Storm Giant, King Hekaton?"
Drylund, out of breath responds, "Very well, I.. I guess I can tell you. You've earned it, apparently."
"The Big One you seek – the Storm Giant Hekaton – is subdued by enchanted shackles and sails aboard a strange-looking vessel called "The Morkoth." It's veiled from all divination, and light bends around it until one is within a certain distance. It sails around the northern isles of the Trackless Sea day and night. If you... "
He stops talking. His voice catches in his throat as the veins in his neck bulge. Drylund's eyes grow wide with terror and become bloodshot as he rigidly grabs his head in agony. He opens his mouth as if to scream in pain, but nothing more than a strained, prolonged gasp escapes. He goes limp and slumps to the floor – blood begins to trickle out his ears. He is dead.
Jormo finds a key on his body and begins checking drawers for any addition evidence they can give Yartar's Waterbarron. He finds a journal in a drawer beneath the now-empty aquarium.
Beau checks the hallway just in time to see the woman in the yellow robe coming. He shuts the door and warns the group they may have to fight again.
Zep uncovers his Darkness ring to conceal them, and Beau hidden in the darkness casts Disguise Self to look like Drylund.
Zdravko continues to swim home.
.
Akane Manaasi flings open the door and seeing only darkness calls out, "What's going on in here?"
Beau, flawlessly imitating Drylund's voice tries to buy them time to think of a plan, "The intruders hid a darkness object somewhere in here. I'm looking for it.
Akane, "Would you like help, sir?"
Beau as Drylund, "Yes?" (internally screaming).
Akane, "What does the object look like? I can attempt to locate it with magic."
Beau as Drylund, "I didn't see it."
Akane, "I don't know how much help I can be, but I will try." She enters into the room. "The intruders... who are they sir? Where are they now?"
Beau as Drylund, "They came looking for Hekaton."
Akane, "I'm sorry sir, what?"
Beau as Drylund, "They're trying to find the Storm Giant."
Akane, "I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you're talking about."
With that, Zep leaps at her through the darkness and grapples her in choke-hold, covering the Darkness ring in the process.
Akane sees Drylund laying in a pool of blood and also Drylund standing above Drylund's body.
Jormo cries out, "Oh no! you've killed our friend who was disguised as Drylund!"
Akane Manaasi demands to know what's going on.
Beau explains that her boss is caught up in some bad happenings and after he confessed, it seems like someone performed a psychic assassination on him from elsewhere.
The woman in the yellow-green snake robe doesn't seem at all surprised to hear of Drylund's extracurricular business dealings, but after further questioning Beau is pretty certain that Akane Manaasi herself is innocent of any of it and just acts as the security officer of the Grand Dame.
Akane proposes that if they let her go, she can assume the role of running the casino in Drylund's stead, make it her own business, and in the process completely cover for them and attribute Drylund's death to "unseen assassins who never made themselves known." Beau says that sounds good, ONLY if Akane releases their friend from her Suggestion and Akane agrees.
Zdravko stops swimming home and shouts, "SON OF A B----!!!" before turning around, flying into a rage and swimming back towards the boat at top speed!
.
When the monk returns, Beau has to convince Zdravko not to attack the security officer, but that doesn't stop him from aggressively drying himself off on her robe - which unflappably she appears to ignore.
They spend the rest of the night gambling and schmoozing and eating from the buffet as if nothing had happened, and none of the guests see Khaspere Drylund for the rest of the evening (or ever again).
.
To be continued...

What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)2

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